Out And About

While I was trying to kill time yesterday, I went onto the computer in Reed's office and tried to type up a resume. I'll admit that I haven't had much work experience, the little I had was 'volunteer' secretary work for one of my mother's fundraising events and a little temp receptionist work when a friend of my father was left without one a few years ago. I've done more volunteer work than real work.

When I sat down to type up the resume, I was excited and looking forward to looking for a job but as I tried to finish it, to come up with stuff that I did, I started to feel like a big loser all over again. What am I doing? I thought, who in their right mind would hire me anyway?

I was about to give up when Alexis crawled over to me from the blanket and toys I laid on the floor with her. She grabbed hold of my pant leg and looked up at me with determination on her face. At first I wasn't sure what she was doing, up slowly I realized as she rose up, oh my god! She's trying to stand! I wanted so badly to help her but when I went to reach for her, she plopped down on her butt and gave me this 'let me do it' look.

"That's what papa was talking about, wasn't it?" I asked her as she got to her knees again and grabbed for my pants. "You are stubborn just like your momma."

I'm not sure if she knew what I meant but she did smile up at me. It took a while, a few shaky starts, some falls on her bum but she finally did it. She stood up. And seeing her do that renewed my determination to make my plans work. "I'm so proud of you snuggle bug," I said when she finally let me pick her up.

With Alexis seated in my lap, I finished my resume and printed a bunch off. I was about to push away from the computer when I spotted a desktop icon with my name on it. I stared at it for a while, I wanted to open it but I wasn't sure I should. "What do you think Alexis? Daddy wouldn't mind if mommy peeked at the document, would he?"

Alexis looked up at me, given me this 'yeah. right' look. "Da da!" She giggled.

I didn't open the file, I wanted too but I didn't. I told myself that I would ask Reed about it later.

Alexis and I soon set off to buy a newspaper. We stopped at a sidewalk cafe, where we ordered something to eat and scoured the 'help wanted' ads. I would read some of the ads out loud and see what Alexis thought of them, of course she wasn't too interested in what I had to say as she chowed down on the fries I bought to share with her. "Yeah," I reached over and picked up a fry. "This is about all mommy is qualified to do."

While I was sitting there, I spotted a sign in the cafe itself saying that they needed help. I inquired about the sign and was given an application to fill out. I was in the middle of doing that when a shadow fell over the table.

"Good afternoon Amber," I looked up in time to see Devon pull out the empty chair at our table and sit down. "What are you two lovely ladies doing today? Out spending Reed's money?"

"Go away Devon, I'm busy." I turned back the application and sighed, work experience.

"What are you doing?" He asked, leaning in to look at the paper I was writing on. "Is that..?: he grabbed the application from me. looked it over and then stared at me. "This is a job application," he seemed a little shocked by this. I nodded and took it back from him. "Why are you filling out job applications Amber?"

"Well you can't get a job without one," I told him without even looking at him.

"But why are you looking for a job? Isn't Reed giving you enough money?"

I slowly looked up at him, "Do you really think I'm going to tell you anything Devon?"

He shrugged, "You don't have too, all I have to do is ask Reed."

"Why don't you mind your own business for once?"

Devon glanced at Alexis who was watching us with great interest, "Hello Lexi, I'm a friend of your daddy." When Alexis heard him say 'daddy', she gave him a big smile and said, that's right. "Da da."

He smiled at her before he turned back to me. "She seems very happy."

"Of course she is, I'm not a bad mother Devon."

"I didn't think you were," he simply said. "I have to get going," he stood up and pushed in the chair he was sitting in. "Good luck with the job hunt Amber, I hope you find what you are looking for." Devon walked away before I could reply which was probably a good thing because I couldn't think of anything to say to him.

I glanced at my watch and saw it was almost 6, I raced to finish the application. I handed it in and then we left to walk back home.

Reed's car was sitting at his place when we got back, which surprised me. I know he said he would be home by 6 but I guess I really didn't believe him. He met us at the front door, he didn't look too happy. "Where were you? I told you I would be home by six."

"I had some things I had to do," I told him as he moved aside to let us in. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was job hunting.

"So you really are going to do this?" He asked me. I told him yes, I was but we needed to talk about something. "What now Amber? You already cut me out of your life in every way, what other way is there besides..." his voice trailed off as his face went white.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him, I felt a rush of panic as I looked at him.

"You don't want me in your life at all, do you?"