Tell Me Your Plan

Yesterday after I came home from work, I was in the kitchen making supper when my door bell rang. "I wonder who that is?" I said to Alexis as I picked her up from her chair and took her to the door with me.

"Dada!" she said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"No little bug, daddy has a key, he doesn't ring the doorbell." Plus Reed had called me not even two minutes before to tell me that he had to run to the store for some stuff for his mother before he came over, so I knew it would be a while before he came home.

The door bell rang again as I grasped the knob, "Gee whiz," I looked at Alexis. "Some one is impatient." I did a quick check through the peephole and frowned as I opened the door. "Devon what are you doing here? Reed isn't going to..." My voice trailed off as Devon pushed pass me and made his way to my living room. I closed my front door and followed him. "Devon?"

I watched as he collapsed onto the couch and leaned forward with his head in his hands. "I went to see her today, I thought if I tried talking to her, she would reconsider marrying him."

"What!?!!" I marched over to him. "You did what?"

He removed his hands from his face. "I went to see Janie, I wanted to talk to her about us."

"Oh lord," I sighed and sat down next to him. "I take it, it didn't go that well?"

He chuckled sadly, "No she told me that I had my chance and I blew it. She said that hell would freeze over before she ever made the mistake of thinking I cared about her again." He turned to me, "She said that Cary makes her happy and all I ever did was crush her dreams."

"Devon," I sighed as I reached out and rested my hand on his knee. I wanted to say something but I couldn't think of anything, my mind was actually blank.

"I just thought..." he trailed off. "I guess it doesn't matter now, Janie told me she didn't want to see me again." He tried to give me a smile but it looked more like a grimace.

"Have you tried to tell her what's going on? Maybe if she knew she would be more receptive to listening to what you have to say."

Devon shook his head, "I can't tell her about this, she will never understand it." I wanted to tell him that she would but I didn't even understand it. "See?" He pointed at me, "That's the same expression she would have, she wouldn't believe me!" He paused and then smiled at me. "But she would believe you!"

I shook my head, "I'm not talking to her for you Devon." He asked me why not and I told him. "I don't even understand this situation Devon. Why would you risk everything with Janie for a woman that you don't even care for?"

"My mother -"

I shook my head, "Your mother is a grown woman Devon! You think that you are protecting her but you aren't, you are aiding in betraying her! Do you think that she won't find out? Or that she doesn't already know about your father?"

"If she knew, she wouldn't be with him!" Devon pushed off the couch and started to pace the floor. "I knew you wouldn't understand, you have everything already and you didn't even have to work for it. The only one working in your relationship is Reed, he's busting his ass to prove to you that he wants to be with you and you don't even know it!"

"You think I'm not working at my relationship?" I shook my head in disbelief. "You are pretty damn naive if you think that everything is so easy for me!" I got off the couch and moved over to where I had a play area for Alexis set up, I placed her down with her toys before turning towards Devon. "Everyday I struggle with my insecurity, I don't think I'm worthy of Reed's love. I overreact, I look for signs that he's not happy, I see stuff that really isn't there! And if my own demons weren't enough, I have his family trying everything in their power to break us up! Do you think that it's easy to have people telling me that I'm not good enough for him? That the only reason he is standing by me is because of Alexis?"

"You know that's not true, Reed loves you and he is with you because he wants to be!"

I nodded, "I know that here," I put my hand to my chest. "But my head still has a problem believing it." Devon rolled his eyes at me. "Don't do that, not when you were one the people who did your best to get rid of me." I flew over to him. "You told him I was unfaithful and that Alexis wasn't his! You knew that I wasn't cheating on him but yet you told him I was!"

He had lowered his head when I went over to him. "I'm sorry," he looked up into my eyes, "You have no idea how sorry I am for being that guy."

"Why did you do it Devon? Why?" He muttered something that I didn't understand. "What?"

"I was jealous." I stared blankly at him. "Reed had everything, he was happy. When you told him about the baby, he was happy." He sighed, "He was in shock but he was happy. Everything was falling into place for him and I'm sorry but I hated him for it. I was drunk, Janie and I had another fight and I wanted to punch something. When he told me about the baby, I couldn't stop myself, I told him..." he looked at me.

I turned from him, I couldn't look at him.

"Amber?" I felt his hands on my shoulders. "I know I hurt you and Reed by being stupid back then but if I could change it, I would."

I shook his hands off and turned back towards him. "Tell me why you are really marrying Annette when you love Janie."

"Amber," he tried to turn from me but I grabbed his hand.

"Tell me Devon, you can't be doing it only for your mother."

"What reason would I have besides my mother?" He asked me but he wasn't looking at me, Alexis was laughing really loudly at one of her toys and he was watching her.

Slowly it clicked in place, the reason that he didn't tell Reed everything about Annette, he wanted... "The baby?" I tugged on his hand to get his attention. "You are marrying her for the baby?" He looked at me and started to deny it but I stopped him. "You didn't tell Reed how Annette figured into all this, you didn't tell him she was pregnant. Were you hoping that no one remembered that you can't have children? Are you going to pass the baby off as your own?"