Lies, Deceit, Aguish and Pain - A Father's Love?

I kept thinking about the conversation with Reed and I couldn't believe most of what he said. Maybe I just don't believe him because I want to believe that he's a bad guy for not being there. But if everything he said was true, then I've been so upset with the wrong person for way too long. I don't want to be mad at him, I want to get along with him for Alexis' sake and for my own mental health.

So I got up early this morning and I made a little phone call to my parents. Yes it was way too early to be calling them but I couldn't sleep last night and I needed answers. I figured catching them off guard like this would get me the truth.

My parents have a phone in their bedroom that is for emergencies. It isn't hooked up to any of the other phones in the house and they would be the only ones who would answer it so I knew that calling that one would ensure that I got to talk to them.

On the third ring I heard my father's gruff voice. "Who the hell is this?"

"Hello father, it's Amber. I need to talk to you about something." I could hear my mother asking him who it was.

"It's your daughter," he snapped at her and must have given her the phone because her voice was the next I heard.

"Amber? Honey is everything ok? Is the baby ok?"

"Everything is fine mother."

"Then why are you calling so early honey?"

"Mom I need to talk to you about something since he doesn't want to talk to me."

"Just give me a minute Amber." I heard her put down the phone and then I didn't hear much else. I was worried for a minute that she hung up on me but finally I heard her pick up the phone again. "Ok dear, what did you need to talk about at this hour?"

"Reed was here mom, he left yesterday."

"Oh? And is there something you'd like to tell me about that visit?" My mother almost sounded, excited.

"Mother why do you sound so happy? Do you like the fact that he drives me insane? I can't even talk to him without it turning into a fight."

My mother sighed, "Oh honey, you know Reed loves you. He has been nothing but smiles ever since he has come back from visiting you last week. It's so adorable."

"Mother! Reed and I are done, there is no going back. If he was smiling it was because he's happy to see Alexis."

"Amber really? Why can't you see how right for each other you and Reed are? And with the baby, it would be a good idea for you two to try and work it out."

"Mom, I met someone."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I met a man here and we've gone out a couple times. He's smart and funny and I like him mom."

"Oh Reed isn't going to like that."

"Mother! Please, I don't care what he thinks. Besides, he already knows. He was here when Chris and I came back from our date the other night."

"I don't like it Amber. I don't know this Chris, what does he do? Who are his family?"

"Mother I don't need your approval. Beside that's not why I'm calling. I have to ask you something."

"I don't like it Amber," she repeated before asking me what I wanted to know.

"The morning after the anniversary party, did my father call Reed and ask him get him out of bed to run an errand?"

"Why did you want to know that Amber?"

"Just tell me mom."

"Let me think about that," my mother hummed to herself for a few minutes which she always did when she was thinking about something. "Why yes dear I believe your father did. We didn't see Reed after he walked you up to your room and your father was worried that he was up to his old habits again. He would disappear for days and then turn up drunk and expect his poor father to let him work like that. God it was horrible, Lucinda almost had a heart attack when she found out."

"Where did he go when he disappeared?"

"Oh I don't know honey, he had some friends that would talk him into going to this party or that one. They were a hard bunch to get rid of too when Reed checked himself into detox."

"Reed went to detox?"

"Yes dear he did, a couple months ago. His mother had a cancer scare and she started to get on his case about the way he was throwing his life away. And I couldn't blame her, he has a daughter he doesn't know and he was close to losing everything he had. He's a young man, he should be living life not drinking it away. At the anniversary party were we concerned how he would be after seeing you and the baby."

I wanted to say something to that but for once I bit my tongue. "And that's why he got a errand call the next morning?"

"Yes dear it is."

I sighed, "Mom he was with me. He wasn't out drinking, he was sleeping next to me."

"Oh honey! Was he really?" She sounded so happy again.

"Yes mom and when I woke up naked and alone, I thought he abandoned us again. I left that morning because he wasn't there. I've been mad at him this whole time and it wasn't even his fault." My mother didn't say anything.

"Mom?"

"Oh Amber, I'm so sorry. I didn't know Reed was with you dear. He didn't say anything when your father called him."

"Of course he didn't! What was he supposed to say, 'Sorry Carl I can't run that errand for you because I'm holding your naked daughter in my arms after making love to her all night'?"

"AmberLynn Sands!"

"What mom? Isn't that what you were hoping for? Reed and I to get together that weekend? Well it happened but the results aren't ones you wanted."

"He promised your father he wouldn't be anything but a gentleman."

"What are you talking about mom?" She started to hum again. "Mom tell me what you are talking about! If you care for me at all, you'll stop hiding things from me."

"Amber I'm sure Reed as already told you, I assume his visit there had a lot to do with the reason you called me the other day."

"Just tell me mom."

"I'm not proud of this Amber. But before you moved into the apartment you are in now, your father was talking about cutting you off completely. I didn't want him to do that but he said you made your choice when you kept the baby. When your father heard that Reed was close to finding you, oh honey he tried so hard but the PI he hired was a friend of your father's so he was paid not to find you. I went to your father and told him I didn't want you living with your cousin, I wanted you to come home but he's a stubborn man, he said no you made your choice. I suggested that he speak with Reed and find out what his plans were when he found you."

"Well I didn't hear anything else about it until your father told me to start looking for apartments where you are now. I didn't bother to ask him why he changed his mind, I was excited that he did. I found out after I had the apartment, that it was Reed's idea to get you a place to live and that he, not your father and I would be paying for it."

"So Reed knew where I was this whole time."

"No dear he didn't. You father didn't want him bringing you back here, so he convinced Reed that it would be best if he handled all the paperwork because you wouldn't accept the help if you knew it was from Reed. Your father even promised him that he would try to talk some sense into you, to get you to bring the baby here to see him. Like the trusting fool he is, Reed believed everything your father told him."

"Why does he hate me so much mom? What did I ever do to him? I can't help I wasn't a boy."

"Honey, your father doesn't hate you! He was embarrassed by your actions Amber, he would praise you so highly to his colleagues, telling them you would set the world on fire. Your father only wanted want was best for you, that's why he set you and Reed up int he first place. He didn't plan on you getting pregnant and ruining his dreams for you."

I laughed, "Do you think I planned to have Alexis? I didn't, but she was there and I couldn't give her up mom."

"Of course you couldn't Amber, you would never be able to live with yourself if you did."

"Why doesn't he understand that mom?"

"Your father has never not gotten something he wanted honey. Until you refused to give up Alexis, no one had ever stood up to him."

"So to punish me for doing the right thing, he cut me off but pretended that he was supporting me?"

"I wish you knew from the beginning that Reed was the one helping you. I begged your father to let me tell you and to tell Reed where you were. But he wouldn't, until it worked for him to reveal that information."

"The anniversary party?"

"Yes, he knew that his friends would expect you to be there. So he had to make a few quick decisions on what he wanted to do, he knew you wouldn't come without the baby so a couple months before the party he started talking about you and Alexis to his friends. A causal mention here and there until everyone knew that you and Reed had a daughter and as far as anyone was concerned we were happy about our granddaughter. He still had you away because of school, but at least everyone knew about the baby."

"Why did you send Reed for me?"

"Honey, we didn't. Reed knew that your father wanted you to come home for the party so he approached me and asked if he could go and bring you back. I told him that we were sending Henry for you but Reed begged me to let him go, he said he wanted to see you and Alexis. I spoke to your father and he forbid me to talk to Reed about where you were. But when Henry's daughter went into early labour and he needed that time off, your father called Reed into his office. He told him that he reconsidered his offer and he will let him go and pick you up but he had to promise him that he won't ever visit you again. Your father made Reed promise that he would be nothing but polite to you and once the party was over, he wouldn't contact you again."

"That didn't happen."

"Of course it didn't! Reed wasn't about to let that opportunity slip through his fingers, he wanted to see you so badly honey. Once Reed had the information in his hands, he told your father that nothing is going to keep him from having a relationship with his daughter."

"I bet he didn't like that."

My mother chuckled, "Amber, your father does things for reasons I don't even understand. The night of the anniversary party, when you and Reed were dancing to that one song. Your father was watching you with so much pride, he took Alexis from her seat and held her so she could see you two together, he whispered something in her ear and kissed her cheek. I never seen him so happy."

I didn't know what to do with that information, I didn't think my father even knew that Alexis was in the room half the time.

"Amber," my mother yawned, "Oh sorry. I have appointments all morning dear, I should go and get my breakfast and get ready."

"Oh ok mom." I told her I'd call her later and hung up.

I have a lot to think about. And still a few questions but not about Reed, I was certain that he was telling me the truth and I owed him a huge apology.

No, my questions were about my own father.