I'm Crazy...

...completely and totally crazy!

Why do I say that? Because I called in sick at work and I'm now sitting in Reed's office at the house while I wait for the dryer to stop so I can fold it all his clothes neatly and put them away.

But maybe that's not the craziest thing I've done so far today.

I came over here around noon when I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself but before I got here, I stopped at the grocery store to buy a whole bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables, some meat and fresh bread. And then I ran to the flower shop. That's right the flower shop! I'm so embarrassed, I bought Reed flowers!

What a stupid girl thing to do!

And if that wasn't bad enough, the message I wrote on the card (oh yes, I got a card too!) read, 'Reed, since the moment you freed me from the tree, I knew that you were special and you would play an important role in my life. I'm so proud of the beautiful daughter we share and even more proud to be your love, your darling. I've missed you so much these last couple nights, it's so lonely without you. I love you more than words can say. Amber.'

Ok, I actually couldn't fit all that on the tiny little card that they give with the flowers so I ran to the store to pick out a blank card which I wrote all that on.

I had the groceries, the flowers and the card so I drove out to the house.

When I let myself into the house, I looked for signs that Reed was home at least some point during the night but besides the fact that the messages from me were no longer waiting to be heard, there wasn't a sign and I was starting to feel a little uneasy again.

Until I went upstairs. I walked into his room and almost cried out in relief when I saw his unmade bed. Which not only told me he was home last night but that he also slept in because he never leaves the bed messed up.

I went over to the bed, planning on making it up but instead I did something really dumb because I missed him. After I put Alexis down on the bed, I crawled into it and curled up with his pillow. I think Alexis thinks I'm crazy because she sat up and was giving me this strange look as I held the pillow against the lower part of my face, so I could breath in his scent.

Good lord, I sound like a crazy woman! Good thing he loves me otherwise there'd be a restraining order against me!

I'm not sure how long I was laying in his bed, all I know is that within moments tears were rolling down my cheeks as I started to wonder what I would do with out him. Sure I didn't rely on him for any of the necessities in life and he would always want to be a part of Alexis' life but just thinking about how lost and lonely I felt when I lived in the apartment scared me. I don't want to go back to that. I want to spend the rest of my life with Reed.

Finally I managed to drag myself out of his bed. In the next couple hours, I cleaned the house (not that it was dirty), I did his laundry and I started on the stew that I was planning on making for his supper. It's ready so all he has to do is heat it up when he comes home.

Once the dryer stops, I'll fold and put away his clothes. Then Alexis and I will leave, we are going to my parents house. Why? Because I know I'll go crazy sitting around waiting for him to come home.

Hopefully my parents are big enough distractions.

Hopefully Reed will call me or come over.

And hopefully he won't think I'm totally nuts.