Shining Star

After work yesterday, Alexis and I decided to head to grocery store to do a little shopping. Well I guess I decided to go, Alexis really had no choice in the matter but she didn't complain either. Then again, if I was getting pushed around in a cart and given a cookie at the beginning of my ride, I wouldn't complain either.

"What do you think daddy would like for supper?" We were standing in front of the prepared meals section of the deli, Alexis was really getting a kick out of the whole chickens on rotisserie as they slowly made their rounds. "One of those?" I asked her when she pointed to the glass. "Ok," I smiled. "Mommy can make some mashed potatoes and gravy when we get home," I told her as I placed the chicken in the cart. "Oh! Maybe daddy would also like some corn?"

"Ahhh!" Alexis squealed as she turned around to see where I put the bagged chicken.

"I'll take that as a yes," I kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much."

We only spent a total of twenty minutes in the store from the moment we got in until we went through the cash. It was probably the fastest time I've ever had!

Back at the Jeep, I strapped Alexis into her car seat, loaded the groceries into the back and parked the cart in the cart return before hopping in myself.

I was about to pull out of the parking stall when my cell phone rang. After putting the Jeep back in park, I pulled my cell out. "Hello?"

"Hello darling, how are you doing?"

I couldn't help but smile, every time Reed calls me, I feel like I did the first time we ever spoke on the phone. I told him that Alexis and I were about to head home, "We had to make a stop at the grocery store first though. We should be home within 15 minutes."

"That's good," he said. "So you didn't start dinner yet then?"

"No, but we did pick up some thing for dinner. You know those chickens we've been meaning to try for a while? I got one of those and thought I could whip up some mash potatoes and gravy. What do you say? Does it sound good?"

"Yeah..."

I frowned, "Reed what's wrong? If you don't feel like having that, I can make something else."

"No Amber, it's not that."

"Well what is it?"

"See...the thing is..." Reed sighed. "Sean just called me up, he asked if I could go grab a bite to eat with him, he wants to talk about something. I told him I was sure that I could but I wanted to make sure that you didn't mind."

"Oh."

"Do you?" Reed asked. "Do you mind if I hang out with Sean for a couple hours?" He paused and like it was an afterthought, he quickly said. "I don't have too if you wanted me to come home, I'm sure he'll understand."

"It's ok Reed," I told him. "You can go hang out with Sean whenever you need too, I'm glad that you called to let me know that you wouldn't be home."

"You aren't mad?"

I chuckled, "I'm not mad. Alexis and I will just have ourselves a girls evening. Have fun with Sean and I'll see you when you get home."

"Ok," he sounded happier now. "Love you darling."

"I love you too," I smiled into the phone before hanging up. "Well," I turned back to look at Alexis. "Looks like daddy has other plans for dinner tonight, it's just you and me."

When we got home, after all the stuff I bought was put away, I debated calling Janie to see what she was doing but when I picked up the phone to dial her I remembered that she mentioned she was meeting Devon for dinner at the club. She didn't sound too excited about it though. When I asked her about it, she told me that she just had a lot on her mind.

I really wish she would tell me more about what's going on with Devon but since the night that I interrupted their meal, she's been vague when it comes to him. Not that I really blame her, if she tells me how she feels, I tend to argue Devon's case and I know that's not what she wants, she wants me to be in her corner and feel her pain. I don't see the way he talks to her or treats her when I'm not around, all I know is what he tells me and what I see, all those moments point to Devon being really serious about Janie this time around.

I don't know. Maybe she found what she's looking for from him last night. I hope so. I want her to be happy.

For dinner, I still had the chicken. I made a sandwich for me and for Alexis, I warmed up a potato that was left over from the night before, cut it up into small pieces, with some chicken.

It was still early when we were done our dinner, so I decided to head into town, to the mall, to kill some time. I was going with the idea to take Alexis to the small play area at the mall for a few minutes. She loved that area, she liked sliding down the slide the most out of all of it.

To get to the play area, I had to pass by a few stores and the food court. As we were walking, I stopped short in front of the jewelry store, remembering that I had to pick up a ring of Reed's that I put in to be repaired a couple weeks ago.

While I was waiting for the guy behind the counter to finish with the customer he was helping, Alexis and I began to look around.

I was admiring a couple engagement rings when a lady popped out of nowhere. "Would you like to try one on?"

"No," I started to step back as she unlocked the little door behind the rings.

"Are you sure?"

"Well..." I glanced down at Alexis, she didn't say 'hurry up mom, I'm bored' so I said, "Sure, why not?" She asked me what I wanted to see and I pointed to a couple rings.

I had tried on two that I wasn't too happy with after they were on my finger when the lady gave a little gasp. "I thought I knew who you were!" She exclaimed before starting in on a story of how her mom and my mom have been working together on some charity event for the pass ten years. "You are seeing Reed Johnson," her eyes went wide. "Are you...?" Her gaze went to my ring finger.

"No," I shook my head. "We aren't talking about marriage." It was true, we haven't talked about marriage at all. And that was a sore spot for me. I didn't think I wanted to get married yet, I know I told him that when I made all these changes in my life but now I wasn't so sure. "I'm just seeing what's out there," I told her with a smile. "If he does ask me to marry him, I want to be sure I know what I'd want in a ring!"

"Oh, I know what you mean," she launched into another story of how she had been dating her husband for a while and when he asked her to marry him, he had picked out the ugliest ring. "I had to exchange it, I couldn't wear it. It was like he didn't even know what I like and I know that's not true, I told him what I liked."

I smiled at her but I couldn't help but think that it would be wrong to return a ring that your man picked out for you with great hopes in mind. I didn't know if I could do that to Reed, I would feel like it would send him the message that he wasn't good enough, somehow.

"Do you see anything else you would like?" She asked me and then started to suggest rings for me to try on. I tried on a couple but they weren't me, so I kept looking.

"That one," I gasped as I jabbed my finger downwards a little harder than I meant too. "I think that's the one!"

The lady pulled out the ring I was talking about and 'ooh'ed. "Yes this one is very beautiful," she lifted it from its display and held it out to me. "Can you see your boyfriend down on one knee, holding this ring out as he asked you to marry him?"

I nodded, unable to speak as I stared at the ring. My hand was actually shaking when I reached for it. "Ohhh," I chuckled nervously as I slipped it onto my finger. It was perfect. It was everything I wanted it to be. I wanted to buy it and run home to give it to Reed to give to me when he felt the time was right.

"It seems like it was made for you," the lady commented.

I couldn't do anything but stare at the ring on my finger. "How many diamonds are in this ring?" I asked as I started to count them.

"34, plus the main stone."

"Oh my."

"The front and back are set with 12 stones each and each side as five leading up to the main stone."

"And it's white gold?"

The lady shook her head, "No honey that ring there is Platinum, it tends to run a little more on the pricey side but it does look splendid, wouldn't you agree?"

I nodded and she continued. "And that ring as part of a set, the wedding band is set with 9 diamonds." She reached back to the display and pulled out the wedding band. "Try it on."

I felt giddy as I slipped the wedding band on with the engagement ring. Seriously, there were butterflies in my tummy as I gazed down at them. "I want these," I whispered.

"Well for the set it -"

"No!" I exclaimed a little louder than I planned on, everyone in the store glanced over at us. "Sorry," I muttered before telling her that I didn't want to know how much the set was. "If Reed decides to ask me to marry him, he's the only one who needs to know how much he spent on the rings."

The lady nodded, showing me she understood and then suggested that sign up for some kind of registry that would help insure that I get the rings I want when Reed was ready to buy them. I was thinking about that and staring at the rings on my finger when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I glanced over my shoulder. "Sean!" I shoved my left hand into my jacket pocket. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for Reed to come out of the bathroom," he made a show of looking around me and at the display case I was standing in front of. "What are you doing?"

"I..." I quickly looked around the area to see what else was close by that I could say I was looking at but there wasn't anything besides more engagement rings.

"Yes?" He raised a brow as he grinned knowingly.

I spotted the man I was waiting to finish when I first came in. "Reed's ring!" I blurted out. "I was here to pick it up, it was being fixed." I started to walk away when the saleslady called out to me.

"Miss Sands could I have the rings back please?"

"Rings?" Sean leaned against the counter. "What rings Amber?"

"Miss Sands?" The lady seemed to be getting a little uneasy and I couldn't blame her, I was going to walk away with a couple expensive rings on.

"Right," I went back to the counter, turning my back to Sean so he couldn't see but he was tall enough to look over my shoulder as I placed the set on the counter. "Sorry." I went to get out of there but Sean grabbed my arm and held me in place as he asked the sales lady if he could check out the rings.

"Wow," he let out a low whistle. "That's a piece of work alright."

"Just give it back to her Sean," I tried to take it from him but he wouldn't let me.

"Doing a little 'wish' list shopping are you Amber?" He handed the ring back tot he lady. "Thank you."

I crossed my arms. "I was really here to pick up Reed's ring."

"Of course," he smiled. "Where is it?" He scanned Alexis' stroller. "I don't see a jewelry bag."

"I didn't get it yet," I snapped.

"Oh," he nodded. "Of course, you were distracted, I understand."

"Please don't tell Reed," I begged him. "We haven't talked about marriage, I don't want him to think I'm pressuring him to make a choice."

Sean frowned, "Pressure him? Amber you were only looking at rings, how would he see that as pressure?"

I shrugged, "We haven't talked about it, I don't know if he wants to marry me. I just don't want him to think he has too if he's not entertaining those thoughts."

He started to sputtered, like he was trying to say so many things at once. I wanted to ask him what he was trying to say but Alexis alerted us to Reed's arrival by yelled out 'dada'.

"Hey," Reed came over to us with a big smile on his face. "This is a surprise," he leaned down to give Alexis a kiss. "Hello princess, are you having fun with mommy?" He laughed when Alexis giggled. "And how about you?" He straightened up and pulled me into his arms. "How are you doing my love?"

"Good," I told him before giving him a kiss on the lips. "We were going to head to the play area for a couple minutes."

"Oh," Reed gazed down at Alexis. "Are you going to go down the slide?" She nodded her head. "So what are you doing here?"

"I remembered that your ring was back," I told him.

And Sean jumped in, "Yeah, it's all fixed."

Reed gave him a funny look. Sean must've motioned or something because his eyes lowered to the display case behind me. "Amber...?" He didn't look happy.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Well we better get going if Alexis is going to slide. It's getting late." I quickly started to make my way out of the store.

I had gotten about one store lenght when Reed fell into step beside me, "You were looking at engagement rings?"

"Yes...no...well maybe."

"Well which is it?"

I sighed and stopped walking. Turning to him, I told him that I ended up looking at engagement rings instead of picking up his ring, which I really did go in there for.

"Oh," was all he said.

"I can't help it," I told him. "I've been thinking about it lately and the rings were there and so I looked." He nodded. "I didn't think you or Sean were close, I didn't think I would get 'caught' checking them out either."

"You want an engagement ring?"

"Yes...no...I..." He frowned. "Damn! I love you and yes, I've been thinking about our future and whether or not we'll get married. I can't help it! But you haven't said anything and we haven't talked about it so I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want you to know that I was looking at them, I asked Sean not to say anything."

He rubbed his forehead with his fingers before asking me, "Why?" as Sean called out to him.

"I didn't want you to think that you have to ask me. I don't want you to feel pressured to make that move if you didn't want too."

He stared down at me and for once, I couldn't read his expression, I didn't know if he was mad or relieved. Sean called out to him again, he glanced over his shoulder briefly. "I have to go," he told me. "Sean needed to do some stuff here and then we were going to go out for a drink."

I nodded and mumbled something about Alexis and the slide.

Reed kissed Alexis and me before he turned to meet up with Sean again. He had gotten about five feet away from me when he turned back and said, "Oh Amber? Don't worry, I don't feel pressure to do anything."

'I don't feel pressure to do anything.' What the hell does that mean? I've been trying to figure that out all night but I went to bed no wiser. Reed came home later than I expected him too, he was a little drunk, which I didn't expect either.

I don't know what to think anymore.