Looking Back

I keep replaying the events of the past 16 months. I keep going through everything wondering how I could've possibly missed calls or emails from Reed. It didn't seem possible but was it?

When I told him I was pregnant, it probably wasn't the best time to do it. We were at a party and he had been drinking. We were in one of his friend's house, in some bedroom. I had wanted to tell him about the baby but I didn't tell him that when I lead him off to the bedroom. We were on the bed making out, when I told him to stop I had something to tell him. He stopped right away, he never tried to force himself on me which I respected. I didn't say anything for a few minutes and when I did turn to tell him, he was almost passed out. I shook him awake and told him about the baby.

At first he didn't believe me, he told me to stop kidding around. When I told him I was serious, he seemed to sober up a little but he didn't say anything. I tried to get him to tell me what he was thinking and he told me he needed a drink. I tried to stop him but it didn't work, he left the room and stumbled downstairs for another beer. I stayed in the room not knowing what to do. I wanted to leave the party but I came with Reed and I didn't want to leave him there.

A half hour later I decided to go find him but he came banging through the door. And that's when he started to freak about the baby, asking who else I've been with and if the baby was even his. I was so shocked at his questions that I shouldn't even think of how to answer them. He kept asking the same questions over and over again and my final response of 'there was no one else' and 'of course the baby is yours' didn't seem to go over that well. When he slurred, 'that's not what I heard' I realized that there was no way I could even reason with him in the state he was in. I told him he was drunk and asked him to let me take him home. He told me he wasn't going anywhere with me and stumbled out of the room again.

I followed him, what else was I supposed to do. He made his way down to the living room and over to a group of his guy friends. I tried to get him to leave with me when one of his friends asked him why the 'cheating whore' was still there, he shrugged as he chugged back another beer. His buddies then started harassing me, calling me a liar, cheat and a whore. I looked to him for support but I didn't receive any. He grabbed my arm and told me in no uncertain terms that there was no way he was going to let a 'lying, cheat whore' push another guy's kid off on him. I left the party after that.

So when he told me that he called and left emails I didn't really believe him, who could blame me?

So I decided I'd get to the bottom of it last night.

But I'll have to tell that later.

I have to go see what Reed is doing with Alexis. She's laughing up a storm.

Yes, I'm jealous!