A Turn For The Better

This morning Alexis woke up really early and she didn't want to go back to sleep but she didn't want to play either. She is still crawling towards the door whenever she hears something in the hallway and she still is disappointed when Reed doesn't come walking through the door. I've tried to distract her, explain to her but nothing seems to work. So today I tried something different, I knew there was no way she'd forget about her daddy but if she thought about something else for a while, maybe she'd feel better.

So we went outside for a walk. I had no idea where we were going but it's so nice out, the sun is shining and the snow is melting nicely. I can't wait for the day to come where I can take her down to the lake to feed the ducks or just to play outside without a heavy jacket weighting her down.

Because I was thinking about it, I guess that's how we ended up at the lake. There was still ice on the water but it wasn't safe to go out on anymore. We were sitting at one of the picnic tables when a kid appeared out of no where. "Hi!" He stood there and stared at Alexis, he was probably about two years old, Alexis didn't look too impressed with him, she made a face and tried to look around her stroller at me. "Hi!" The little boy said again and Alexis just started to wave her arms like crazy and began to whine.

"Tyler!" I heard a woman calling out, the little boy's eyes widen and he took off in the direction of the voice.

I chuckled to myself and pulled Alexis out of her stroller. "What a cure little boy," I said to her. She made the same face she did a few minutes ago. "What?" I asked her, "It's not like I'm going to trade for him, I love you sweetheart." I kissed her forehead and she blew bubbles at me.

"Hi!" The little boy was back.

"Hello," I said.

"Tyler! Get back here!" The woman's voice called out to him as she walked over to us. "Oh hello," she said when she saw Alexis and me.

Tyler took his mother's hand and pointed to Alexis. "Baby?"

"Tyler I don't know the little girl's name, why don't you ask her mommy?"

"Baby?" Tyler looked up at me with such big dark brown eyes.

I smiled and sat Alexis up straighter. "This is Alexis, can you say Alexis?"

Tyler looked at his mother and then back at us. He giggled, "EXES!" He jumped and slapped his hands together. "Baby Exes!"

I grinned and glanced down at Alexis, she was staring at him with a half smile on her face, like she didn't know what to think of him.

Tyler's mother asked if she could sit down and when she did, I noticed she was pregnant. "Oh," she smiled and placed her hands on her belly. "My first time, my husband and I are so excited about her, we've been trying for a long time to get pregnant."

I have her a funny look and glanced at Tyler. "But..."

She followed my gaze. "Tyler isn't my son, he's my nephew."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "Oh don't be sorry. He might as well be my son, he lives with me and has ever since he was 3 months old. His mother couldn't take care of herself and didn't want to the responsibility of the baby. So she left him with my husband and me."

I watched Tyler as he went through the snow piles, looking for little rocks which he then carried over to us and laid them in a pile at our feet. I gazed down at Alexis and I couldn't imagine leaving her for a moment, kissing the top of her head, I hugged her tight. I love you sweetheart, I'll never leave you.

Donna, Tyler's aunt, saw my reaction and she asked me if I was ok. I found myself telling her about the events that lead up to Alexis and I living here without anyone around to help or to talk too. "Did you try the 'mommy and me' group?"

I nodded, "But that didn't go over all that well, I didn't feel welcomed."

"I know!" She exclaimed and went on to tell me about when she took Tyler there. "Those women have to be the most unfriendly people in the world! But luckily for us, my husband found out about this other playgroup through some of the ladies he works with and they are great. You should come join us sometime." She went on to tell me when they met and a little about each of the women and their kids, it all sounded so wonderful. That is until she got to the part that it wasn't in town, damn!

"I'd offer you a ride Amber but I already have a car load. But I can check around to see if anyone else can give you a ride." I told her thanks and soon she told me she had to go.

Not long after they left, I put Alexis back in her stroller and we went home.

I was still thinking about what Donna told me as I walked up the stairs to my apartment. I looked down at Alexis, "If mommy only had a car sweetheart."

"Then what would happen?"

I jumped and turned towards the voice, "Chris. Hi." I didn't even hear his door open, and there was no mistaking he was heading out and not to work.

He closed his door, locked it and then turned to me again. "Hey Amber, how are you doing?"

I shrugged and fiddled with Alexis' toy that was in my hands, "Fine."

Chris sighed, "You are mad at me. And I wouldn't blame you, I told you I'd call and I didn't."

"It's ok," I told him but that's not what I was thinking.

"Amber -"

"Chris come on! I don't have all...oh! Hello." I glanced down the stairs at the woman who was yelling out to Chris and I felt like such an idiot to believe that he was actually interested in me when this woman was ten times more beautiful than I ever could hope to be.

"Umm...I have to get Alexis inside. Bye." I tried to open my door before I realized that it wasn't unlocked. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole right then.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chris squat down in front of Alexis' stroller. "When your mommy gets you inside, tell her that I have to go to the hospital with my sister because my mommy fell down and got a big owie. Can you do that for me Alexis?"

If I wasn't embarrassed before, I certainly was then. I bit my lip as I turned to look at him. He got to his feet and leaned towards me, "It's been a hell of a week Amber. I swear I wasn't blowing you off."

"Chris?"

He glanced at his sister and then back to me, "I'm not sure when I'll be home but I'd like to see you later, if it's ok." He kissed my cheek and then leaned down to kiss Alexis' cheek. "I have to go." He made his way down to his sister and then stopped. "I promise I'll see you later," he said as he smiled up at me.

He continued on down with his sister and after they were out of eye sight, I heard her say. "That's the girl you cooked supper for?" She laughed, "I thought you were kidding. Christopher! Ah! She seems nice and her little girl..." Her voice faded the further down they went.

I guess it's no surprise that I was almost floating when I walked into my apartment. I couldn't wait for him to get home.

And I still can't wait but it's noon and Alexis is hungry, so I have to wait.