Thursday, October 11, 2007

Busy Weekend - Part Two

From the time we left the restaurant Saturday afternoon up until Sunday afternoon, Sean had called me about twenty time or more, thanking me for being so thoughtful. "I never had anyone do something this big for me before," he told me repeatedly. "I can't thank you enough, you have no idea how much I really needed to see them."

I would tell him that it wasn't me he should be thanking, it was his sister Gina, she was the one who called me and asked me to help her plan this. "She's really the one you should be talking too."

"You know, she downplayed her part in all this when I spoke to her too." Sean laughed, "Whoever did it, I'm really grateful that they did."

Now if you all noticed, I said until Sunday afternoon. That's because Sunday afternoon was the moment his family decided to come over to help me with some prep before Monday's meal. Prep I didn't even know I was going to be doing, or should I say, baking I didn't know I was going to be doing.

By the time Sunday night rolled around, I had so many pies, rolls and other baked goods in my house, I thought I was opening a bakery!

Reed loved it! He couldn't help but commenting on the yummy aroma from all the baked goods and he tried to sweet talk me into letting him sample bits of all of it.

I was grumpy, after pretty much being told I didn't have enough food planned for this meal, having my menu changed completely and even the way I planned on serving it changed, I just wanted to get it over with.

So when he made those comments, I cracked, I told him if he wanted fresh baked goods all the time the he was living with the wrong girl. "I work," I snapped. "I don't have time to waste in the kitchen! We have a daughter who demands all the time that working and being with you doesn't occupy!"

"Hey!" He grabbed hold of my hands, pulling me down on the couch next to him. "Darling you need to relax, I'm not asking you to start baking all the time, I just said it smelt good in here and wanted to know if I could have something now."

"I'm sorry," I snuggled up to him, burying my face against his chest. "I just want everything to be perfect for your brother but I spent most of the day being told it wasn't good enough."

"Amber," he kissed the top of my head. "That's not what I heard," when I looked up at him he said it wasn't. "I heard them say that these other things were stuff they always have. Don't think of it as them saying what you have isn't enough but as them trying to do the same thing you are, trying to make this Thanksgiving perfect for everyone."

I know what he was saying was right but still it hurt to have someone come in at the last minute and change things on me. Maybe I was just too controlling.

Or maybe Sean's family wasn't going to fit in with us that easily.

Then again, I could be too emotional.

I mean, why else would I have actually been the one to ruin the Thanksgiving that I worked so hard to make wonderful?

That's right, I said me...I'm the one who made the big scene this year. I'm the one who made Sean's family feel uncomfortable.

And it all started of so innocently with Alexis standing at the door watching Reed and the other men outside while all of the women were in the kitchen getting dinner ready.

"Dadadadadada!" She started off with just 'dada' but it didn't get any response, so she changed to a steady stream of it and it got louder and louder the longer she stood there. "Dadadadadadada!"

The women in Sean's family tried to get her attention, showing her different toys as they tempted to lure her away from the door but she didn't want them or the toys they offered, she wanted to be outside with her dad.

I didn't blame her, I wanted to be outside with him too. It had been a long week and we barely seen him, so we were both missing him.

"Just plop her down with some toys, or a video," Gertie told me after five minutes of Alexis calling out to Reed. "She'll soon lose interest."

Lynn told me that I should give Alexis some little task to do for dinner, "that will keep her from interrupting the men."

Not wanting to be rude, I did what both of them suggested but each time Alexis went back to the door and started her 'dadadadadada' call all over again.

Every five seconds it seemed that someone was calling out to her, trying to get her away from the door. At least Sean's family was, my mother and Reed's mother, who weren't really doing much to help with dinner were saying that it was normal for Alexis to want to spent time with her dad.

"Alexis," I called out to her and she turned to me. "Come see mommy." I knelt down and she came running over to me, her little face screwed up as she huffed at me while pointing to the door, "Dada."

"Just give her some of this," I turned to see Gertie holding out a cookie which Alexis batted away when I tried to give it to her.

"Dada!" She wiggled in my arms and cried while staring at the closed door.

"Maybe she needs a nap," Lynn suggested.

It was getting too much for me, Alexis' calling out, everyone throwing their two cents in on the matter, I had enough.

"No," I scooped Alexis off the floor. "She wants to be outside playing with her daddy." Amid protests of sending Alexis outside, I dressed her for just that.

I left the grumbling behind as I opened the door and walked through it. Alexis was grinning so happily as the cool air hit her face, "Dada!" She exclaimed, almost bouncing in my arms.

Off in the distance, down by the lake, Reed was running around playing some kind of game with Sean, Landon and Dwight. My father, Roger, Mack and Tom were all seated around the patio table having a drink and shooting the breeze. When they saw me come out, Mack asked me if dinner was ready.

"No," I smiled at him. "Alexis just wanted to come outside to be with Reed." I started off towards the gate that separated the house from the lake when I heard him make some comment about watching children being the woman's job. "Excuse me?" I had hoped I didn't hear him right.

"My poor ol' mum, God rest her soul, would have ten underfoot and still turned out amazing meals all the time. She didn't complain once."

I raised a brow as I looked around the table - Tom was nodding his head in agreement but my father and Roger weren't saying anything.

"It's a shame," Mack said to the other men. "That young people today don't know what's right and what's wrong."

"Excuse me?" I shifted Alexis onto my hip and stared down at him. I must have spoken a little louder than I thought because the house door opened and everyone seemed to be watching - except for the guys down on the beach, who couldn't hear us.

"I'm just saying that's all."

"You are just saying what?" I asked him as I heard my mother say my name. "No mom, I really want to hear what he has to say."

"Well little lady, I'm just saying that a woman's role is to cook and clean and look after the youngsters."

"And the man's role is what?"

"Why to provide for that family!"

"Oh!" I looked down at Alexis, who was struggling to get down. "Well around here, if my daughter wants to play with her dad then she's doing just that! He helped make her, and he can damn well do his part to make sure she's happy!" I stomped off, knowing that I probably shouldn't have said that but who were they to tell me that Alexis wasn't allowed to play with Reed?

I made a beeline straight for Reed when I got to the beach, he seemed a little surprised to see us. "Hello my love," he gave me a big smile which started to falter as he came closer. "What's wrong?" He put his hands on my arms, looking into my eyes, searching for an answer.

"Alexis wanted to play," I told him. "But everyone thinks I'm a bad mother because I'm bringing her down here to you instead of watching her myself." Reed took Alexis from me and asked me what I was talking about. Sniffing, I told him about the last few moments, "They think I'm a bad mother Reed." He pulled me close and I continued. "I just wanted everything to be perfect and I ruined it!"

"Darling you didn't ruin it," Reed kissed the top of my head. "If Alexis wants to come play out here, it's fine, you know I love spending time with her."

"But Sean's family..." I groaned, "He's not going to be happy when he finds out I was rude."

"You weren't rude," I heard Sean say but I was too ashamed to look at him. "My family are a little backwards in some of their thinking, I know they didn't mean to insult you Amber."

"I'm sorry," I turned to him. "I didn't mean to snap at them."

Sean shrugged, "Don't worry about it, it'll be forgotten in a moment." He gave me a one armed hug and told me once again how happy he was.

I went back to the house but I still felt like crap, I tried to apologize for my behaviour but Sean was right, his family had already moved past it. His mother told me not to worry about it, that Mack never did think before he spoke. "We don't always stop to think that there are some people in this world who live by a different set of rules," she squeezed my hand. "It doesn't mean we are wrong, or right, it just means that we are different. And if that young man of yours is happy and you are happy, then that's all that should matter."

Ok, so maybe I didn't totally ruin Thanksgiving but for a moment, it felt like I did.

Overall I guess you should say everything turned out alright. We eat, talked and laughed all through dinner and a couple hours afterwards. Everyone said they had a great time and hoped that we could do it again soon.

Some one suggested getting together for Christmas...

...I think as long as someone else was holding it, I was all for it.

6 comments:

MonkeySpeak said...

I understand that stress - we always hold family events at my parents house and i get roped into helping; and back in college we threw a lot of parties - even if it was just a keg or two, it could get stressful wanting everything to go right.

That got me annoyed though, reading what his family was saying! OY! I would have screamed out that for the first few months I cooked, cleaned took care of her and myself without a man, but they probably would have freaked abuot that too! haha.

Melissa Robinson said...

haha its kinda funny... :) i like ambers crazy attitude!

Anonymous said...

Glad she spoke her mind! Sounds like it was a good time had by all. And I would agree with her - Christmas at someone else's house!

Stacey

Anonymous said...

Terrible to say, but I hear the same stuff at our family dinners. The women should cook, clean children should be seen and not heard. I'm glad
Amber spoke her mind, but I know from experience that it won't really matter cause they will never see the light.

Mehreen said...

Amber said what needed to be said and should not apologize for it. She did her part, Christmas is definitely for someone else!

Vikki said...

LOL!! I agree that Amber has done her duty as far as hosting the families, at least for this year. Good post!