Addition To The Fold

I was going to write sooner but it's been a busy day for me. I still can't believe that it's been a year since Alexis came into this world, I spent all day going back and forth between being really happy and then being really sad. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Reed tried to be supportive and help me but I didn't want to talk to him, I wanted my mom.

I left Alexis with Reed and told him I would be back in a little while, I think he was happy to see me go because he didn't seem to know what to do. When I told my mom what was going on, she suggested that it had something to do with Alexis being a year old. "When you turned a year old, I felt the same was you do right now," she told me. "In my case it was because I wanted another baby but no matter how hard your father and I tried, it just wasn't in the cards."

So that gave me something to think about, did I want another baby? Was that why I was so sad over Alexis turning 1?

I wasn't sure when I left my mom's today but when I got home and saw Reed on the floor still trying to get Alexis to walk on her own, I knew that wanting more child was part of it. What was the other part? I don't know, I have nothing to be sad about, I have a great life, I love my job and my man is the most wonderful man in the world.

"Amber I think she might finally take those first steps," he said excitedly the second he saw me. "Could you sit over there," he pointed to a spot just a couple feet from him.

I can't even tell you the number of times we did this exact same thing every single week, we would try for a while but she just wouldn't move when we let go, she would fall onto her bum and look up at us like we were crazy for even thinking she was going to walk...ever!

But I did what he asked, why? Because I loved seeing the excitement in his eyes whenever he gets to bond with Alexis.

Kneeling down on the floor across from him, I gave them both a smile before holding out my hands to Alexis. "Are you going to come to mommy snuggle bug? Are you going to celebrate your birthday by showing daddy and I that you can walk? That you are inde..." My smile slipped when I started to say independent, I realized that was one of the biggest problems with me; Alexis was getting older and doing things on her own, I was feeling a little useless.

I know that sounds crazy, she will always need me but just thinking about how she will continually gain independence from me made me cry. Reed and Alexis were staring at me like I had lost my mind, I wanted to tell them what it was but I couldn't get the words out. Reed let Alexis go to come over to me with a box of tissues, "Honey please don't cry," he begged as he pulled me into his arms. "I don't know what to do when you don't tell me what's wrong."

I tried to calm down enough to tell him but before I could, we heard Alexis call out. It was as if the world slowed down, we turned in unison to see if she was ok, she was still standing where Reed left her. Her little knees were bent a tiny bit as she held out her arms to us, she grunted again as we were watching her and then, she did it! She moved one foot ahead slightly, wobbled like she would fall over but remained standing! That seemed to give her a little more confidence, she moved her other foot ahead, wobbled once again and gave us a huge grin when she was still standing.

I'm not sure how long it look her to close the distance between us and her but she did it! I couldn't believe it! I glanced up at Reed once Alexis was in my lap, hugging me and babbling away, he had this shocked but proud look on his face and his eyes were glistening from his unshed tears.

It was a happy evening for us. We kept setting Alexis up to walk and with every step she took, she became more and more confident.

When we put her to bed tonight, Reed told her (again) how proud he was of her. "Daddy can't wait to tell everyone!"

And he meant it too, the moment we left Alexis' room, he headed for the phone to call his parents and mine!

"They are all jealous that they didn't get to see it," he told me after he finished his last call and joined me on the couch.

"I'm just glad you were here to see it," I snuggled up with him. "I'm glad that we got to share this milestone."

"Me too," he squeezed me tight. "I was afraid I would miss this one like I did with all the others."

I nodded, "I know it doesn't make up for lost time but at least you know you'll be there for it all with our next one." He didn't say anything so I glanced up at him only to find him staring at me with his jaw opened wide.

I didn't realize until he regained his voice that he thought I was telling him that I was pregnant. Shaking my head, I told him that I meant when we were ready to bring another baby into our lives. "Besides," I smiled. "Your grandmother told me that we had to be married before we give her any more great grandbabies."

"We don't have to be," he told me. "If you don't want too."

"We don't?"

"No," he answered. "We don't have to marry if you don't want too; I'm just happy that you are back in my life."

I pulled away from him, sat up and faced him. "What if I want to marry you?"

He seemed a little surprised that I asked him that, in fact he didn't seem to believe that I wanted to marry him. "You want to marry me?"

"YES!" I exclaimed. "I've wanted to be your wife since the first couple weeks after we started to date!"

The majority of our conversation up until I started this post was about us getting married and having more babies. It was probably the best conversation we've had in a while and it actually helped me get out of the mood I was in. Planning our future, together, something that I never thought would happen when I lived on my own.

The only time Reed and I disagreed was when I dropped the bomb that I didn't want to go to school, he was upset. "I thought you wanted it darling? I thought you wanted to be more than a wife and a mother? To show Alexis that she can do whatever she wanted no matter what others said?"

"I do," I told him. "I want all that but I don't know if I can handle going back to school Reed, I hated the classroom setting when I had to go to school."

The conversation got a little heated for a couple minutes, Reed telling me that I would regret it and possibly blame Alexis or him if I didn't go through with what I had planned when I moved back here. "And besides, didn't Charlie give you the job to help you with that dream? Will she still employ you if you don't go to school?"

"I spoke to her about it already," I told him. "I mentioned that I wasn't sure I wanted to go to college for the course and she suggested if it was the idea of 'school' itself, then maybe I should look into correspondence courses."

"They have correspondent courses for Early Childhood?" He seemed a little relieved that I wasn't completely backing away from my dream. "Will you have enough time and focus to do the course here at home?"

"Yes," I told him without even hesitating. "I really want this Reed and I'll do the best I can; I just don't want to go sit in a classroom for hours every day." I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I knew that he would help me out with anything he could.

****

Like I said already, part of the reason Madeline wanted to have lunch with me was to talk about how things were going with us. It was actually the main reason she requested lunch with me. I was filling her in on how Alexis was doing at day center when she stopped me. "AmberLynn, I have to be honest I really want to know how long it will be before you and Reed walk down the aisle."

"What?" I almost choked on my water.

"I believe that it's time for you to seriously think about your future with my grandson. I know that you want to take it slow because he hurt you before but I believe it's time for Reed to step into the role of 'husband'." I started to tell her it was really none of her business but she continued, "Now unlike my son, I'm not about to force Reed to marry someone he doesn't love. All I'm saying is I don't see why you two have not discussed marriage or why his ring isn't on your finger already; you love Reed and I know he loves you, what is holding you both back?"

I couldn't believe that she was saying this, from the moment I met her she always agreed with my view, she never once tried to force me to be or do something. "Madeline," I took a sip of water before I continued, I needed a moment to think of something to say. "Reed and I are happy with the way our relationship is progressing. Although we haven't talked about marriage directly, I'm confident that we will when the time is right for us. We are just getting to know each other again, we both want to take this one day at a time because we know how much it hurts not to be together. Reed knows that I love him and I want to be with him just like I know he feels that way about me, we'll take a step in the marriage direction when we are ready for it."

Madeline was silent for a moment as she thought about what I said. Finally she said, "I would strongly encourage you to be married before a second child comes along."

I asked her why she would say that but she told me she didn't have a specific reason, she just would rather that she didn't have too many illegitimate children in her family tree.

"There's nothing wrong with having a baby out of wedlock," I told her. "Some times it's better if the father isn't around."

"Reed is a great father," Madeline snapped at me. It was probably the first time she's ever snapped at me.

"I know he is! I see him every day with Alexis, I see how happy they are together and I see that it doesn't matter to him that we weren't married when we had her! If we happened to get pregnant before we get married, if we ever do get married, then he will love that baby just as much!"

"Of course he will," Madeline replied. "I just believe there is no reason for that to happen."

"Don't try to force this Madeline, I don't want Reed to ask me to marry him just because someone else thinks it's time he got married. When Reed is ready to ask, he will."

Madeline let the subject drop after I said that but I had a feeling she would be talking to Reed soon about the whole marriage thing. He hasn't mentioned it yet, so I don't really know if she did but it's only a matter of time.

We spent the remaining minutes of of lunch talking about Sean and how he figures into the family now. "I get the feeling that he won't fit in very well," she told me. "He seems to be more of his own person than Reed is, I don't see him slipping into the role that Roger and Lucinda hope he'll slip into."

I agreed 110% with that, Sean wouldn't fit into the world that we lived in and he didn't really want too; he as already admitted to Reed and I that money and power mean nothing to him. It actually seemed that he was disappointed that his real family had so much. It was weird but I understood where he was coming from, sort of. I may not have to work to survive or live from pay check to pay check but there was a time where I did. Even if it was for only a couple months until my parents came to get me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but it was also the best time of my life, just knowing I could do it. I don't know if that makes sense.

Lunch ended on a pretty good note, Madeline save the best part for last, she was moving back into town! "I haven't told any one yet," she told me. "So please don't tell Reed, I want to tell him personally."

I agreed to keep it a secret until this Sunday when we were all getting together for Alexis' birthday, Reed and I wanted the actual day of her birthday to ourselves; my parents have tomorrow.

And every single kid that goes to day care with Alexis have Saturday! That's right, I caved, I ended up inviting every one of the kids; I didn't want to have anyone thinking that I thought their kids weren't good enough to play with my daughter. Reed was really excited when I told him I invited all the kids.

****

The dinner party that we had planned didn't end up happening, an hour before everyone was supposed to come over, I got a frantic call from Chris, Kelly's water broke. "I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked him, "It's not like you had anything to do with it happening." I wanted to added, 'right?' but I didn't.

"No I didn't," he hesitated and then told me that technically he did. "Kelly just wanted the baby to come out already," he said. "She'd been doing everything she's ever heard to induce labor but it wasn't working."

"I thought she was only eight months pregnant?"

Chris laughed, "She was due last week! Her doctor set up to induce her by the end of the week if the baby didn't come on his own but Kelly doesn't want to have the baby that way, she wants him to come on his own. That's why she had me getting her all different types of tea, oils and food like her doctor suggested but nothing was happening. We tried acupressure, walking, visualization/relaxation but none of that worked either."

"Then why do you think this was your fault?"

"Umm..." he chuckled uncomfortably but he didn't answer me. I started to ask him what was going on when I remembered one method that he didn't mention, one that my doctor told me when it was getting close to my due date - sex.

"Oh my God! Chris! You didn't!"

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "Kelly kept bugging me about it, I didn't want too because we hadn't...you know...I didn't want that to be the first time we...did." He sighed. "We didn't...you know...finish..."

I wasn't sure I wanted to know any more but in the back of my mind, I was curious how far they did go. "Wait a minute," I said suddenly. "Why are you calling me? Why aren't you bringing her to the hospital?"

"We are at the hospital." He told me he was in the waiting room because he couldn't handle the sight of blood. "Kelly is alone in there and I feel like an ass."

"Kelly is in the delivery room all alone?" I started to feel sick, being alone sucked. I told Chris I would be there in a couple minutes, I wanted to be there for them.

Before I hung up, Chris asked if I would call Devon. "Kelly promised him she would let him know when she went into labor and I don't happen to know his number off hand." I listened closely to see if there was a hint of resentment in his voice but he didn't seem to mind Kelly's relationship with Devon. I wanted to ask him what the deal was but he wanted to go see if he could get an update on Kelly.

After I called Devon to tell him Chris called me, Reed and I packed Alexis up and went down the hospital.

It would be another couple hours before 8lb3oz baby Gabe entered the world and about a hour after his birth we were allowed to visit Kelly.

Chris was already in Kelly's room when we walked in, he was sitting on her bed with her, whispering to her and Gabe; he looked so happy, they all looked so happy. Especially Kelly, even though she did look like she was about ready to pass out.

When Devon and Chris finally let go of the baby long enough for me to finally hold him, Alexis, who was up with Reed, started to cry and wanted to get up with me. "Oh Lexi," Reed tried to calm her. "Mommy is just holding Gabe, she isn't going to keep him."

I gave Reed a grin and he frowned, "At least I don't think she's going to keep him."

"I don't think I'll get far," I told him. "Your mommy wouldn't let you out of her sight long enough, would she Gabe?" Gabe wasn't paying attention to me, he was pretending to sleep. Alexis didn't care, she still wanted to get up with me, so I ended up giving Gabe back to Kelly.

By the time we left, Alexis wasn't as upset to see Reed or me hold Gabe as she was at first, I think it had something to do with me sitting with her on my lap as I held Gabe. At first she didn't want anything to do with him but before too long she was 'talking' to him and giving him kisses.

Chris brought Kelly home from the hospital Wednesday morning and he's been calling me almost every hour since to ask me some question about babies and new moms. I think it's cute that he's so involved with everything going on with Kelly and Gabe but Kelly told me that she's starting to feel smothered.

"I really like him," she told me. "I love that he wants to help me with Gabe and that he is concerned about me but I need some space Amber. How do I tell him that without hurting his feeling?"

I didn't know what to tell her, I told her to try talking to him about it but she wanted something to say to him, word for word.

Party, Party, Party

In three days my baby turns 1! I can't believe it! Has it really been that long? It seems like only yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant! Where did this year go?

Reed wants to throw Alexis a party and invite all the kids that we know but I would rather just have a small party with our family, if we have to have a party that is. We don't know that many kids, besides the ones that are all in the day care with Alexis. I don't want to invite people's kids that we don't know, I told him that I wasn't about to put Alexis through that. When he seemed to want to debate that, I mentioned all the party 'friends' that he had over the years.

"Ok fine," he sighed. "We'll just have a small thing here at the house with our family." There was something in his tone that made me feel selfish for not wanting to subject Alexis to those kinds of parties.

"Well, if you want to have kids over," I started but I couldn't finish the thought. Sighing, I told him I was sorry.

"Amber," Reed came over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I don't want this to be an issue with us, I just want Alexis to have fun. I thought it would be cool to have some kids around for her to play with."

I understood his point, as it stands right now, Alexis is the only kid in our group. I did want her to play with other kids but I didn't want to end up inviting people that she really didn't know or play with.

So in the end, we made up a tiny guest list, there were only five kids on that list. "They are the ones she always plays with at the day care," I told Reed when he asked about them. "I'll talk to their parents when they come in."

Despite it being short notice, I asked them all on Friday when they were picking up their kids, all of the parents said that they would love to have their kids join Alexis' party on Saturday.

When I told Reed about that last Friday, he was excited, he started to go on and on about all the different games and activities that the kids could do. I couldn't help but feel his excitement, I started to get into the party planning mood! But I had to stop him when he started talking about clowns and animals.

"Reed, honey, Alexis doesn't like clowns and do we really want animal poo all over our yard?"

"I didn't know she didn't like clowns," he told me and then asked why not.

"Well," I groaned, I didn't want to tell him why, to this day I feel so guilty about what happened. "When she was five months old I took her to get her photos done (I had her photos done every month for some silly reason). One of the poses the photographer wanted to do involved Alexis sitting in a 'toy box'. The background was cute, it had lots of balloons and toys on it and they had some blocks, dolls and a jack in the box scattered around her. I'm not sure why it happened but right in the middle of shooting that picture, the Jack in the box suddenly sprung up and managed to topple over onto Alexis! She screamed bloody murder, I tried to calm her down but it took a while. Finally she was calm again so we set up to take that photo but the moment she saw the toy she freaked again. We ended up having to take the box and hide it before we could finish the shoot." I glanced up at Reed and he looked like he was trying not to laugh. "It's not funny!" I told him. "To this day if she sees a clown, she screams!"

"Sorry," he tried to stop laughing. "It just seems so unlikely! But I'm not about to find out first hand." He paused and then said, "No clowns."

****

We decided that we would have a little 'party' of our own tonight, a dinner party. Actually more like just having friends over for dinner. It started out with Reed inviting Devon and Janie over for supper, I didn't know he invited them, I happened to run into Chris and Kelly on Saturday and asked them over for supper. When I got home and told Reed, he seemed a little upset that I would invite them over.

I told him that Chris was my friend and I wanted to hang out with him.

"Friend?" Reed scoffed. "Yeah right!"

"He is!" I snapped at him. "I know you don't like him because I went out with him a couple times but honey come on! He's seeing Kelly now and they seem really happy together. I want to get to know her better, she seems so much happy with Chris than she was when she was with Devon."

"Don't you see how bad this could be?" He asked me. "You used to date Chris, I don't really trust him. Kelly used to be engaged to Devon, Janie isn't going to be happy to see her here! Not to mention the face that Devon is so weird whenever Kelly's name is mentioned! He's not going to like having either one of them here!"

"Well..." I shrugged. "What do you want me to do? Call them up and be like, I'm so sorry it seems that you have to be outcasts because people can't be happy that they are with the person they want to be with?"

Reed glared at me. "I'm happy with you," he said slowly. "I just don't see why you want to hang out with Chris when he..." Reed lowered his voice. "He left bruises on you Amber, do you really blame me for not liking him?"

"It was one time," I told him. "And he never touched me like that before or after either! I'm not going to hold that moment against him when he's apologized for it!"

"But what about if he's doing it to Kelly? Have you thought about that?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Yes, I've thought about it! Why do you think I want to get to know her? She doesn't know anyone in town besides us and Devon. If that moment with me wasn't the only time Chris has left bruises on someone, then don't you think it would be a good idea if Kelly knew she could always count on us to be there for her?"

Reed stared at me, he didn't say anything.

"Honey come on, please?" I pleaded with him. "I want things to be ok, I want us to be able to hang out with Devon and Janie as well as Chris and Kelly!"

He still didn't say anything.

"Ok fine! Then I'm not sure I want Devon around."

That got a reaction from him. "What?"

"Well Devon tried to break us up, he lied to you about me when I told you about Alexis, he convinced Janie to delete your emails, he -"

"Ok stop it!" Reed snapped. "Devon is my best friend! Everything he's done, while it wasn't right, he's apologized for and it's in the past; I think we have worked pass that."

"Oh?" I raised a brow. "If that's the case then you should be way pass the one mistake that Chris made."

He was silent again, his jaw was clenched in anger.

"I mean, if you can forgive Devon for trying to ruin us, you can over look Chris' error in judgement that one time."

"Ok," Reed said finally. "I'll let Chris have a fresh start, if you stop holding Devon's actions against him."

"Done," I agreed right away.

So we ended up calling all of our friends and told them that the others would be there, surprisingly enough, no one seemed to mind at all.

I asked Reed last night if he was still upset about the dinner thing and he told me he wasn't. "I think it'll be a good thing," he admitted. "I've been jealous of Chris since the day I met him, I think it's time I let that do, you are with me and that's all that matters."

I smiled, "I love you so much Reed. I'm so glad that you never gave up on us."

Reed got lucky last night, I decided to 'show' him how much I loved him as well as tell him.

****

This morning as he got ready for work, Reed asked me if I would mind if he invited Sean. "It's strange," he told me. "I always wanted a brother and now I do! I keep thinking that we'll make up for lost time but I'm not so sure that's what he wants."

"Of course that's what he wants Reed."

"It's just that he has had such a different life than I have, I don't know if he thinks I'm lame or what."

"Reed!" I shook my head. "Sean doesn't think you are lame! You heard him the other night, he's glad that he has a brother."

"Yeah but..."

"No buts," I told him. "You and Sean have a lot of stuff to catch up on and when you do, you two will be as close as any brothers can be."

"Thanks darling," he pulled me into his arms, kissed me and asked if we could play hooky and crawl back into bed.

I was all for it but he ended up going to work. "Sean is hanging out in the office today," he told me on his way out. "I don't want to miss it."

****

Madeline called me on Saturday and asked me to meet her for lunch today. Normally I don't take my 'lunch' break but when Madeline calls, you don't say no. I just have to clear it with work when I go in, even if they don't have a problem with it, I want to make sure they know that I'm going.

Well, I guess that's about all that's going on right now.

Posting Change

Hey Everyone!

So I've been thinking about it for a while and I've decided that I will not be posting on the weekends anymore. I know that those who read during the weekends will be disappointed but I find that the weekends are the times where I seem to have the hardest times focusing on writing.

I hope you all understand.

See you all on Monday!

Angela

We're A Family And You're One Of Us Now!

I know I said in the beginning that the similarities between Reed and Sean were uncanny, and to a point it was true but there were distinct differences that made it easier to tell who was who. For starters, like I mentioned before, Sean was bigger than Reed - possibly a couple inches taller and certainly broader across the chest and thicker in the torso. Sean's hair was darker (he had a few grey hairs that he didn't like having pointed out also) and longer than Reed's. He had a couple scars on his neck and face - a tiny one over his left eye, a couple thin ones down the back of his neck and one along his jaw line; they weren't nothing big or disfiguring but still, they were there none the less. And if that wasn't enough, Sean also had an earring in one ear.

But damn! They both cleaned up really well!

In my defence, I would like to say that I wasn't the only one who thought Sean was looking mighty hot that night, I heard Janie's 'oh my!' as Sean walked back into the room and I swear I even heard Alexis gasp!


Ok, maybe I just thought I heard the last one but hey, it could've happened, she was staring wide eyed up at him!

Some time in between the time Reed and Sean came out of Devon's room and the time I heard Janie say 'oh my!' she appeared at my side. Jokingly, I turned to her and said, "You know how you always said if Reed had a brother...?"

"Oh no you don't!" Devon jumped over the back of the couch and was in front of Janie, trying to lead her away from Sean, in no time flat. He gave me a dirty look and asked me what I was trying to do to him. With a smile, I told him I was just kidding, "Janie likes you, you fool! So don't mess it up!"

Janie let Devon lead her back to the couch, where he immediately pulled her down next to him and started to talk in quiet tones as I couldn't hear what he was saying. It was interesting to actually see Devon acting like he was afraid of competition, it wasn't something I've ever seen him do before. Maybe Janie's relationship with Cary made him see the light, I thought with a grin.

Turning my attention back to Reed and Sean, I asked them if they were ready to go.

"I look ok?" Sean asked me.

I nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. "Yes, you look great!" I turned to say something to Reed but he wasn't looking at me at all. "You won't be the best looking guy in the room," I glanced at Sean. "But coming in second isn't all that bad either."

We headed out to the club not long after this.

I wish I could say that the night went as smoothly as I hoped it would but it didn't. Not much really happened but it was the little things that made some parts a little uncomfortable.

The biggest thing though was the tension between Roger and Lucinda throughout dinner. You could see that they were trying to act like nothing was wrong but it was clear that Roger was still upset that Lucinda kept the news that he had another son out there to herself.

But on the whole, everyone got along really well. Roger, Lucinda and Madeline (Reed's grandmother) all had a million questions for Sean. Where he had been all this time, what his other family was like, why be decided to come looking for them now, etc.

According to Sean, the night that he was born, he was brought to the orphanage in the town that Lucinda had given birth to him. From there he was shipped further south into the States, passing through the hands of a dozen or so people before he made it to the home of 'Mack' and Gertie McKenzie, where he would spend the first part of his life.

Mack and Gertie were unable to have children of their own. "I think in the end that's what tore mom and dad apart," Sean told us. "They divorced when I was ten."

In the next couple years, Sean gained a couple step parents and step sisters. "Tom was a good man, his wife had died about five years before he met my mom; my step sister Rae was about 7 when our parents got married. A year afterwards, my mother became pregnant with my sister, Gina. It would be a couple years after that before my father met and married Lynn, giving me another step sister, Bonnie."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a smile appear on Reed's face as Sean moved from his family into the next years of his life. Later I would find out that Reed was happy that he was Sean's only brother.

Sean went on to tell us that he was 15 when he overheard Tom complaining that he didn't know why Sean had to go visit Mack every summer when he wasn't even Mack's kid in the first place. "Up until then, I didn't know I was adopted. Even when I heard Mack say that, I thought maybe my mom had been with another man. It wasn't until I started to question mom about my real father that I started to realize something was up, her story was never the same."

"When she finally told me that I was adopted, I wasn't really surprised, I knew I wasn't like the rest of my family." Sean took a sip of his water before continuing. "I was really upset for the longest time at..." He looked up at Lucinda and Roger, "You guys, I guess. I couldn't understand how you could have me and not want me."

"I didn't want to give you away!" Lucinda blurted out. "But I wasn't strong enough to keep you." She looked at me and so did Sean. "I wasn't strong like Amber was when she told her parents she was keeping Alexis."

"The situation was different," I stated. "The time was different."

Sean thought about that for a moment but ended up shaking his head, "No, I think you were the only thing that was different." He turned to Reed, "You wanted to give up Alexis?"

"Hell no!" Reed snapped. "I didn't have any say in anything at that point, Amber was already gone and no one would tell me where she was. The only chance I had to reach her was through email, where I told her that I wanted her to come home and we would raise Alexis together."

Sean nodded slowly and then turned his stare to Roger. "What about you? Did you want to get rid of me?"

Roger turned red, "I didn't even know you existed until this week!"

"Really?" Sean raised his brow in Lucinda's direction. "Why was that?" Lucinda gave Sean the short version of hos she got pregnant and the situation with Roger and her. When she finished Sean sat back, visibly upset. "Yet you ended up with him and had Reed? How come you didn't tell him about me then? Why didn't you come looking for me?"

"You don't understand!" Lucinda cried. "You have no idea what it was like at that time! My father relied so much on me marrying into this family! And your father didn't want anyone to know about his infidelity! What was I supposed to do?"

"Tell him!" Sean snapped. "You were supposed to tell him that he had a kid out there! You were supposed to come and find me!"

I was so thankful that we were in the back of the club with very little other tables around us. I never understood why they wanted to meet in public like that and then get into all the details; they had to know that it wouldn't be a warm fuzzy moment.

"You were supposed to come and take me away," Sean said softly as he pushed his chair away from the table. "Excuse me," he mumbled before making his way out the back patio doors of the clubhouse.

There was lots of random chatter floating through the air, mixing with the soft music playing over the clubs sound system but the one table in the back was deadly quiet.

"Some one should go after him," I said after a moment or two but no one seemed to know who should go. "Oh for the love of God," I tossed down my napkin and stood up. "Seriously people! Did you think this was going to be easy?" Shaking my head, I made my way through the crowd and out the doors that Sean disappeared through moments ago.

"What am I doing here Amber?" He asked me when I walked up to him. He took a drag from the cigarette that he held in his hand. "I don't belong here." He blew the smoke from his lips before turning to me. "This," he tugged at the jacket he was wearing and sighed. "This isn't me. I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy, I don't belong in this club and I certainly don't fit in with those people."

"Forget about all that for a moment, tell me why you are here? What made you come all this way to find Lucinda and Roger?"

Sean took another drag before answering me. "Things weren't that great at home, I didn't want to tell them because I don't think they would understand. I never felt like I belonged, my whole life, I felt like I was an outsider in my own family." With a slight shake of his head, he took another drag. "I thought if I found my real family I would finally feel like I belonged but I'm more out of place here than I ever was back home!" He scoffed, "Talk about the irony. I searched for years, went through one lead after another and finally I tracked...Lucinda down. I came here in hopes of finding her."

"How long were you in town?"

"My first night in town, I happened to run into Penny," I made a face and he apologized. "I know she thought I was Reed but I had hoped that she could tell me more but every time I asked her anything, she told me I should know that and laughed it off."

He went on to tell me that the day we met, it wasn't a fluke. "Penny went off the deep end the night that she realized that I wasn't Reed, she started to scream at me for lying to her and asked me if you set her up." Sean frowned, "From the way she talked about you, I was expecting the devil incarnate; she said you were trying to take her job and man."

"What?" I stared at him. "Me? I never did a damn thing to her!"

He nodded, "I know but between you and me, she was seriously crazy!" When I asked him what he meant, he told me that she was taking some sort of pills. "She called them her crazy pills but I don't think she was taking them correctly, if at all."

"I found out where she worked and I decided that I was going to follow you and finally meet the man Penny thought I was." He put out his cigarette and told me how he followed me from work to the mall. "I was waiting for you to finish shopping but you spotted me first."

"But it didn't matter," he stated. "After all the work I've done to get here, I don't think I can stay where I'll never fit in."

"That's crazy!" Reed's voice came from behind us. We both turned to him as he made his way over to me. "How do you know if you'll never fit in if you use tonight as a guide? Do you think that Amber and I do this scene all the time? Do you think that we really fit in here?"

"Yes."

"No," Reed exclaimed. "Amber and I don't belong in this setting or these clothes anymore than you feel you do! We would rather have a BBQ in our backyard, have friends over for beer and bullshit all night than be here!"

"But yet you seem so comfortable here," Sean responded. "You have grown up with all this, you know how to act and I've been waiting for someone to 'show' me which fork I was supposed to eat the damn salad with!"

"You eat the damn salad with whatever fork you want too!" Reed chuckled, "Just don't sit too close to grandma when you do it!"

I gasped, "Is that why you make me sit next to your grandmother all the time?"

Reed nodded, "Yes, the woman loves to tap me on the back of the head when I mess up!"

"You jerk!" I poked him in the ribs before giving him a hug. "You know you are lucky I love you, right?"

"Of course I know," he kissed me softly. "I'm very lucky." Reed turned to look at Sean, "And I would be even luckier if you stuck around for a while, I always wanted a brother and Alexis would love to get to know her uncle."

We ended up heading back into the club with Sean a few minutes later, he told us that he would give it a chance.

Since Tuesday, Reed has told me that Sean was hanging out at the office with his father and he was out to supper with both his parents. From the reports that Reed gives me and the conversations I've had with Sean since Tuesday, I think he will fit in fine. Of course, he'll need us to keep him sane but hey! That's what family is for!

Ready For Dinner

I woke up this morning to my alarm clock buzzing. Turning over on to my side, I turned it off and stretched, glancing at Reed as he lay sleeping next to me. I didn't know how he could sleep through that buzzing, it was loud and annoying, most mornings I wanted to toss the damn thing across the room. But there he was, sleeping.

Or so I thought.

I turned back to snuggle up with him and he wrapped his arms around me and sighed contentedly. "Morning my love."

"Morning," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, breathing him in. God he smelt so yummy this morning, I was so close to begging him to stay home with me. He would've too, all I had to do was mention it and he would've called in sick before I could even tell him I wasn't serious.

But instead, I told him that he was getting some tonight when he got home, "So don't go making any other plans!" He told me I was crazy if I thought he would plan anything.

So yay! I have a sex date tonight with my man! Who's jealous? Just kidding about the jealous part.

****

Reed was extremely nervous about introducing Sean to his family. I can't really say I blame him, for 26 years, he was the only child and now, the rug has been yanked out from under him although he tells me that's not why he was nervous.

"There are so many expectations Amber, I don't want anyone to be disappointed when things don't go the way they want it to go."

"How do you want it to go?" I asked him as we made our way out to the Jeep.

"I want Sean to fit in with the rest of the family for every one's sake."

I thought about that, fitting in. I wasn't sure how Sean, who grew up in a rather lower class family would be able to fit in when I, who grew up in the same circle, didn't feel like I did. "Sean will do great," I told Reed. "He wants to meet your parents and if they are on their best behaviour, things should go wonderfully."

Of course to that Reed asked me if I smoked something before I got ready. "Because the Amber I know doesn't talk like that when my parents are involved."

"Oh shush!" I gave him a playful shove towards the driver's door. "Get in and drive."

We were heading over to the hotel that Sean was staying in while he was in town. It wasn't a classy joint by no means, it was actually a little rundown but the thing I liked about it all was that not once did Sean apologize for it. I liked that he didn't feel he was lacking something because he didn't have the money for it, I liked that he wasn't ashamed of the life he's had so far. He was really starting to grow on me and I think he would be good for Reed.

In fact the other night when they met for the first time, we somehow got on the topic of Reed and I. When Reed told him about me wanting my freedom when I first moved here, Sean actually backed me up! He told Reed that he certainly understood why I felt that way. And guess what? That night when we were in bed, Reed turned to me and told me that he was sorry he didn't understand at the time and that he was really proud of everything I've done for myself and Alexis.

We met Sean at his hotel room where we were going to spend a little time before we all went to the club for dinner; it was Reed's idea, he wanted to make sure that Sean was prepared for a evening with his family.

Like I said, we were going to spend some time there first but the second I saw what he had on, I knew there was no way he could go to the club wearing the causal pants and shirt that he had on. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it but the club was formal some nights, and that night was one of them, he needed to have a jacket and tie.

"But I don't have one with me," Sean told me. "Will they really not allow me to go in without it?"

"Yes," I sighed. "I know it sounds stupid and there really isn't a good reason for it but Lucinda and Roger live for the club, if you go in there wearing that...well I don't know what will happen." I turned to Reed, "What did they do to you when you tried it that one time? Oh!" I grabbed his arm. "Show Sean the scars from the tarnished reputation you got that night."

Sean looked confused and Reed was rolling his eyes at me. "Darling do you have to do that?" He turned to Sean, "it's not as bad as Amber says, she's just trying to scare you." Then he turned to me and said with a smiled, "You'd know more about those types of scars than I would!"

With a smile, I went to him, slipped my arm around his waist and gazed up at him adoringly. "That's why I have you," I informed him. "You can buff out any tarnished spots in my reputation."

"Ahem!" Sean cleared his throat. "As sickeningly cute as you two are, how is this helping with the issue at hand?"

I was going to suggest that he just borrow something from Reed but upon sizing him up further, I realized that he was bigger than Reed was. "Devon!" I exclaimed suddenly.

"Devon?" Sean glanced at Reed. "Who's Devon?"

"Reed's best friend," I told him before Reed could answer. "And he's about the same size as you are, so come on!" I headed for the door with Alexis, not checking once to see if they were following. But they were so I didn't have to worry about it.

Reed had told Devon all about Sean the night before so I knew that there wouldn't be too much to explain to him when we showed up on his doorstep last night.

Devon answered the door in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, which surprised me because I don't think I've seen him that casually dressed in a long time. "What are you doing?" He asked me as I rushed past him, pulling Sean along with me.

"No time to explain," I told him. "I need your clothes!" I walked pass the couch and smiled, "Hello Janie, didn't mean to interrupt. We'll be just a minute! Oh!" I stopped suddenly and Sean almost knocked me over. "Janie, Sean. Sean, my best friend Janie!" They said hello as I pulled Sean forward once again.

When we got to Devon's room, I could hear Reed explaining what I was doing. "It's ok, isn't it Devon?" I called out, I didn't think to ask before.

"Umm yeah sure," he replied.

"Oh good!" I turned to his closet and threw the doors open. "Ok Sean, strip."

I heard Reed's nervous chuckle as he entered the room. "Amber," he came over to me and pulled me from Devon's clothes. "Why don't you go and visit with Janie? I'll handle this." I started to protest but there was something in Reed's eyes that made me stop. There's no way that's what I think it is, I thought. He can't be thinking something is going to happen between Sean and me! I didn't argue with him, I wished them good luck and went to join Janie and Devon in the living room; they were preoccupied with Alexis so I didn't have much to do while I waited for Reed and Sean to come out.

Oh my God was Sean hot!

Morning Events

I got the best wake up this morning. Well it was the best wake up that didn't involved Reed doing something to my naked body. Maybe it wasn't the best but it certainly was an interesting one.

I was on my back, I didn't know why I was on my back, I sleep on my side and normally wake up on my stomach but this morning I was on my back. I went to turn towards Reed and I heard giggling. My eyes shot open and I jumped a little as I stared into the eyes of my little girl. "Hey snuggle," I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her tight to me. "Where is your daddy?"

Alexis smiled, "Dada!" She turned to point behind her but Reed wasn't there. "Dada?" She wiggled out of my grasp and crawled to the edge of the bed where a single rose was sticking up just beyond the end of the mattress. "Dada?" Alexis peered over the edge of the bed and giggled.

"What is your daddy doing?" I asked Alexis as I joined her. I laughed when I looked over the edge and saw Reed laying on the floor holding the rose up in the air. "What are you doing?"

He gazed at me for a while before saying, "I'm trying to win you over."

"Win me over?" I frowned. "Didn't you already win me over?"

"That was when you were 19," he told me as he handed me the rose he held. "Now that you are 20, I have to start all over again."

"You're such a goof!" I took the rose and smiled down at him. "Don't you think that you'd win me over quicker if you were up here with me?"

"A gentleman never enters a lady's bed uninvited," he stated while he pushed himself up off the floor.

I raised a brow. "And what about the gentleman who has an open invitation to join this lady in bed anytime he wishes?"

"An open invitation?" I nodded. "Well in that case!" Reed jumped onto the bed. "Hello my love," he gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

I waited until he was settled next to me. "So what were you really doing on the floor?"

Reed laughed, "I was hiding. Alexis wanted to be a big girl and wish you a Happy Birthday by herself."

"Really?" I glanced at Alexis, she was still looking over the edge of the bed. "Then why is she...?"

Reed turned to Alexis, laughing. "Come here Princess!" He grabbed her by the sides and plopped her down on my lap. "You forgot our deal, didn't you? You were supposed to distract mommy while I -" he bent over the side of the bed and felt around for something. "Ah ha!" He smiled at me, sat up again and presented me with a gift wrapped box. A horribly wrapped, gift wrapped box. I guess he saw my expression because he chuckled and told me that Alexis wanted to help wrap the gift. "I don't think she's going to be a professional gift wrapper darling."

I gave both of them a kiss before asking what was in the box. "Darling you have to open it," Reed told me as he snuggled up next to me. "Mmmm, you smell delicious this morning." He began to nibbled at my neck. "Definitely better with age," he murmured.

"Reed!" I went to say more but I heard a rip. I turned to look down at my lap where Alexis was sitting with her hands over her mouth as she looked up at me. "You opened mommy's present!" I laughed. She actually only ripped a little hole in the one corner but still it was funny.

"That means hurry up mommy!" Reed nudged me, "Come on darling, open it up."

It took a little longer than normal to open the box because Alexis was 'helping' with the wrapping paper but once that was off, she wasn't interested anymore, I was though. Under the wrapping paper was a plain white box, I glanced at Reed, he just nudged me again. Alexis had crawled off my lap onto Reed's once she got the paper, so I set the box on my lap to lift the lid off it. Removing the lid, I saw plain white tissue paper, still not giving me a hint to where he bought whatever was in the box. Pushing back the tissue paper, I stared at the item in the box. "REED!" I stared at him.

"What?" He frowned, looking into the box. "What's wrong? You haven't even looked at it yet!"

"How could you? With Alexis in the room?"

"Amber! It's not like she knows what it is! Just pull it out and tell me if you like it." He seemed a little hurt that I reacted like I did and I guess I didn't really blame him.

"I'm sorry," I told him as I picked up the white sheer mesh babydoll with pink ribbon accents at the bust oh and the matching thong. "It's very..." I turned to him, pulled it completely out of the box, "What do you -" clunk! "What was that?" My head snapped back to the box I just emptied, or I thought I emptied; there was another smaller box sitting on the bottom of the box. "Reed what is...?"

He gave me a smile, "Open it Amber."

I dropped the babydoll into my lap so I could reach for the other box. While I was doing that, Reed lifted the one strap of the babydoll up to my shoulder, groaning softly. "I think it'll look amazing on you."

One look at him and I forgot about the other box. "You think so?" I picked the babydoll up by both straps and held it against my body. "Can you see me wearing this for you?"

He gave me a look that told me everything I needed to know; not only could he see me in it, he was dying to see me in it. "Maybe I'll model it for you tonight?"

He nodded eagerly and then added, "And that too."

I glanced back at the box I had forgotten. "This too?" He nodded as I picked it up. The box reminded me of a necklace box but it was a little shorter than you would expect but I knew it had to be jewelry. Once again I found myself lifting a lid and pushing back tissue paper, only in this case there was also some cotton to push aside. "Oh my!" I gasped, "Reed..." I didn't know what to say as I lifted the silver ID anklet from its box.

"What do you think Amber?"

"I..." I was at a lost for words.

"Did you see what it says?" He asked me.

Holding the anklet closer, I saw the tiny heart on the one end and my name, "AmberLynn". Turning it over in my hand, I smiled when I read the really small print on the back, "My heart, my soul, my darling BerryLynn."

"Oh Reed!" I threw my arms around his neck and cried. Seriously, huge tears were rolling down my cheeks as he hugged me tight, whispering in my ear the words he had engraved on the back of the anklet.

That was this morning. I wanted to stay in bed with him all day but we both had to get up and get ready for work. Before he left he made me promise that I'll model both for him soon and he was nice enough to tell me that I didn't have to model them together!

*****

So let's see. My party on Saturday was a blast. Reed invited all my friends and we had a BBQ. I found out that this was the party Chris called about, he showed up with An - Kelly. I have to say I was shocked and so was everyone else apparently but they seemed really good together, Chris was very attentive to Kelly, getting her food and drinks whenever he thought she needed it. The one time that I did manage to pull Kelly away from him, she couldn't stop rambling about how wonderful he has been to her. "I didn't think I would ever find someone who would make me feel so special," she told me. "But Chris," she sighed happily. "He's wonderful!"

I'm glad that they are happy and I hope that they are together for a long time to come. I don't really know what's going to happen in regards to all the plans that Devon had made for Kelly - the house and helping her financially like his parent's had promised her when they conned her into marrying him - I don't see Chris, if they are together for a while, letting another man take care of her like that. Then again, I guess it's really not any of his business, is it?

****

The other night when I ran into Sean at the mall...

I really don't know what to say about it, it was strange. Even Reed said afterwards that it was strange meeting Sean. It wasn't bad or anything like that, I think it was just not knowing he was out there and then boom! he's there and not going anywhere.

Sean wants to meet his parents and Reed wants to be there when he does, he thinks that Sean's appearance in his parents life right now is probably the one thing they need.

I'm not really sure why Reed thinks that, all I know is that we are having dinner tomorrow night with Reed's parents, his grandmother and Sean. Reed's grandmother came down last night after Roger called her to tell her about Sean.

They all seem really happy to be meeting him and from what Reed tells me from his many phone conversations with Sean since they met, Sean is nervous about finally meeting his parents. "It's strange," Reed told me last night. "Sean told me that he never thought he would actually find his family."

I guess I should say, the reason Sean hasn't met anyone but Reed yet, is because Reed wanted to make sure that he was really who he said he was. After the police check and the DNA test, Reed is convinced that Sean is truly his brother....like the identical looks couldn't point that one out!

Running Around And Round And Round

I would love to post a nice long post about the reunion between Reed and Sean but my little shithead - that's Reed's new name today - just told me that oh! guess what darling? I'm having a party for you tonight and well, I forgot to do these last minute things that are going to take all day if I do them myself. Would you be a dear and help me? Please? I'll love you forever!

Ok, that's not exactly what he said but it's damn close! I can't believe he was planning a 'surprise' birthday party for me! And now I have to go and help him finish all the details because he's a guy.

Oh that just so you know, this isn't really a mean spirited post. I am really really happy that my man loves me and wanted to surprise me and I have no problems helping him with the finer details because I believe I was drunk with his mom while he was finishing up the Canada Day prep and I was really really mad at him on his birthday which caused him to go out and get plastered. I guess you can say that I should be thankful that he wanted to do something special for me after all we've been through.

I love him so much, maybe if I get a chance, I'll show him just how much before the day is out! Wouldn't that be hot? Pre -birthday love making! Sign me up!

Look What I Found At The Mall

As much as I hated Penny at this time, I decided to be the bigger person and talk to her. Ok, maybe I only decided to be that person because I wanted to know more about Reed's brother and hos Penny ended up meeting him. Everyone wanted to know more about him and I didn't want Reed or Lucinda having anything to do with Penny.

I went into work yesterday with the intentions of cornering Penny and telling her that we needed to talk about what has been going on but when I walked in she was nowhere to be found. I asked Nadine where she was and Nadine shrugged, "I don't know, I haven't heard from her and Charlie didn't say she called in sick or anything."

I was sick to my stomach all day. I was hoping that I would have some answers for Lucinda and Reed when I got home but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

At the end of the day yesterday, Charlie called Nadine and me into her office. "I'm sorry that you had to work short handed today," she told us once we were seated. "But I had to fire Penny yesterday."

"What?" Nadine sat forward in her chair, staring at Charlie like she didn't believe what she was hearing. "Why? What happened?"

"I can't get into the details," she told us. "But I've been receiving complainants from a few of the parents about Penny's attitude and a few other things. I can't have someone working here, destroying the reputation that I've worked so hard to earn."

I wish I could say I was shocked to hear that Penny was fired but you all know I knew it would happen. I just thought it would be a more personal reason that caused Charlie to do something.

When we left Charlie's office, Nadine turned to me. "Do you think Charlie found out about Penny's after hours use of the day care? Or the inappropriate use of her office when she was on holidays? Or the other 'services' she performed for some of the dads?"

I stared at Nadine. "What?"

"Or maybe she found out about the time Penny screamed at the kids, or the time she actually hit one of them."

"Ok stop!" I grabbed Nadine's arm. "Why would Charlie have her working here if she's been doing all that stuff?"

Nadine shrugged, "Because she was doing her son a favor? Colin asked his mother to give Penny a chance after she got fired from her last job. But I hear that things haven't been going that great with Colin and Penny. Did you know he used to come by all the time after work to pick her up? He would send her flowers and never forgot her birthday."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Nadine told me. "I wish I did. I just know that suddenly he wasn't coming around and when he did, Penny would get mad at him. Around that time, I caught Penny in the supply closet with one of the dads."

I left work yesterday not knowing what I would tell Reed when I got home. I called him up and told him that I would be a little later than I had planned on because I wanted to do a little bit of shopping before going home.

"Why don't I meet you and we'll go somewhere to grab a bite to eat?"

"That sounds great," I told him and made plans to meet him outside 6th Street Restaurant in a half hour.

Twenty minutes later I was making my way through the mall with a couple bags in hand while I pushed Alexis in her stroller. I was walking by the food court when I happened to notice him sitting at one of the tables savouring a banana split without paying any attention to what was going on around him.

I thought he changed his mind and decided to meet me at the mall but for the life of me, as I walked over towards him, I couldn't understand why he didn't call me to tell me or why he would be eating ice cream before getting something a little more substantial in his stomach.

"Hey," I stand across the table and smiled down at the top of his head. "I thought we were going to..." he lifted his head up slowly as I started to talk, he had just finished turning the plastic spoon he was using to eat the ice cream was upside down in his mouth but that wasn't what stopped me in mid sentence, it was the 'do I know you' look on his face.

"Oh my God!" I stared at him as Alexis started to whine and reach for the man she thought was 'dada'.

The guy glanced back and forth between my shocked face and Alexis' outstretched hand. He slowly pulled the spoon out of his mouth and returned it to his ice cream before he spoke. "I've been getting that look a lot since I've come to town," he told me. "But I have to say," he glanced at Alexis once again as she squealed 'dada!' "It's the first time that someone has called me 'dada'." He pushed back his chair and stood up. "My name is Sean," he held out his hand to me. "And I believe you can help me find what I came here looking for."

The resemblance between Sean and Reed was uncanny, I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. There has to be some differences, I thought. Do brothers look this much alike when they aren't twins?

"Is something wrong?" Sean dropped his hand.

Finding my voice, I frantically told him I had to go but he stopped me. "Wait," he reached across the table and grabbed hold of my arm but when I tensed he quickly dropped his hand and apologized. "I know this is a little bit of a shock..." I shook my head and he frowned. "What do you mean 'no'? You knew about me? How long?"

"Yes, I mean no." He continued to frown. "I mean," I sighed. "I only know because Penny -"

"Penny," Seam rolled his eyes. "I should've known that she was up to something, she was acting so strange. At first I thought it was because she..." he trailed off. "I didn't know I was close to finding my family until she insisted on calling me 'Reed' when I told her my name." When I turned away from him, he asked me if I was Reed's girlfriend, if the little girl who was calling him 'dada' still was his niece. "You know my family, don't you?"

"What do you want with them?" I asked. "Why are you here?"

"What do I want?" He spun me around and stared down at me. "I want to know where I came from! I want to know why I was given away! I want to know that there could be someone out there who might care about what happens to me!"

I wanted to ask him more but I realized that we were standing in the middle of a very public food court and Alexis was drawing attention from her cries for her 'dada'.

"I really have to go," I told him and started to turn away.

"You know I'll just follow you," he told me. "I didn't come all this way just to let someone who can help me find what I'm looking for, just walk away."

I'm not sure how long I stood there locked in a staring contest with him before I sighed and pulled out my phone. He watched me carefully as I flipped the phone opened. "What are you doing?" He asked.

I ignored him and dialed Reed's cell. When Reed answered, I turned away from Sean. "Honey..." I didn't know what to say to Reed.

But it turned out I didn't need to say anything, Sean pulled the phone from me. "Reed?" He asked hopefully as I spun around to face him. "Oh thank God!" I guess Reed asked him who it was because Sean told him his name and then told him he was his brother.

So I left the mall last night with a couple new outfits for Alexis, some shirts for Reed, and Sean.

The First Baby

Reed looked devastated when Lucinda said yes. I guess we were hoping that Lucinda would tell us that there was no chance that Reed had a brother.

He wanted to know how it was possible. He wanted to know why he never knew and he wanted to know right then and there. But Lucinda didn't really want to tell him.

"Mom! You have to tell me! He's in town and by now he knows that I exist! I need to know how I could have a brother and not know! Please mom?"

It took a good ten minutes and a few aggravated groans before Lucinda finally told him she would tell him about his brother. At least all she knew. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to think badly of me Reed. I'm not proud of what I did!"

What did she do? Well it seems that Lucinda was a little bit if a 'wild' child, according to her. When she was 17 a few of her friends were heading to the coast for a couple weeks in the sun before starting their last year of high school. Lucinda's parents forbid her to go but she went anyway.

"I was young and single, tired of my parents' rules so I just left," she told us. "I met your father while I was there; his friends had the same idea that my friends did, except that there were heading into collage instead of high school when the summer ended." Lucinda stopped for a moment, a smile on her face.

"Mom?" Reed frowned as he reached for her hand.

"Hmm?" Lucinda glanced at him and then me before remembering what she was supposed to be telling us. "Your father was so different from most of the guys I knew and I thought he was the cutest guy I ever laid eyes on."

I smiled at the look on Lucinda's face as she remembered when she first met Roger. "Amber knows what I'm talking about," she said. "I see the same look in her eyes when she looks at you honey." Lucinda cupped Reed's chin in her hand and gazed at him. "You look so much like your father did when he was your age."

"Mom, my brother?"

"Oh," Lucinda dropped her hand and sighed. "Your father was a complete gentleman," she told him. "He was promised to another woman, so he wasn't really paying that much attention to any of us girls."

"We were at a party one of his friends was having, he had just called his fiance and they ended up fighting. Your dad was drinking pretty hard that night and well..." Lucinda bit her lip as she stopped, she gave Reed a look but he didn't seem to get what she meant.

"You and Roger...?" I was a little surprised to say the least. "When he was drink?"

Lucinda lowered her head, her 'yes' was barely audible. "I wasn't thinking that night, I had a few drinks myself and well...we ended up in one of the bedrooms and we..." she chuckled nervously. "Well you know what we did."

"I left to go back to school not long after that night and I didn't expect to ever see your father again." She went on to tell us that she found out a month later that she was pregnant. "I didn't want to have an abortion," she told us. "I didn't think it was right for me. My parents found out about it, they demanded to know who the father was but I was too ashamed of how it happened and the fact that Roger was supposed to marry another woman make me feel even worst."

"Since I wouldn't tell them who the father was and I wouldn't get an abortion, they did the same thing to me that your parents did to you Amber, they sent me off to live with some distant relative who lived in the States."

"Months went by and finally I had the baby, a beautiful little boy." Tears rolled down Lucinda's cheeks as she told us that during her pregnancy she changed her mind. "I wanted to keep the baby when he was born, I told my parents but they said there was no way that they were having a bastard for a grandchild."

"I think they knew that I would try to do something to keep him once he was born because they had hired someone to be with me when he was born and then they took him away from me." She stared up at us. "There was nothing I could do to stop it! I had signed him away before I even felt him move in my belly!"

"I cried for months," she told us. "I wanted him back, I begged my parents to look for him but they wouldn't. They told me that I was better off without having the baby to tie me down."

I felt angry. What her parents did to her, is exactly what my parents tried to do to me and the worst part? She didn't even try to do anything to stop it, she was one who called me a liar when she found out about the baby. I wanted to say something about it but one look at Reed, his expression, stopped me. He looked so utterly fragile at that moment, it was strange.

"But mom, you and dad got married. How come you two didn't try to find the baby then?"

"Your father doesn't know," she said softly. "I never told him about the baby. As far as he knows, you are his only son."

"What?" Reed jumped up. "You didn't tell dad about my brother? How come? Didn't you think he deserved to know that he had another child out there? Didn't you think that he would want to find him and bring him home where he belonged?"

"I was scared Reed!" His mother cried. "My parents told me to never tell anyone about the baby because it would ruin their arrangement with your father's parent's! My father was about to lose everything! He was determined to have me marry into the Johnson family so we wouldn't be penniless and homeless! And your father recognized me! He knew who I was and he told me never to tell anyone that we met before, that he was unfaithful to his former fiance!"

"What happened to her?" I asked out of the blue.

"What?" Lucinda and Reed looked at me like they forgot I was in the room.

"Roger's fiancee, what happened to her? How did you end up marrying Roger?"

"Ummm," Lucinda pressed her hand against her head and sighed. "I believe there was some sort of scandal with her and the daughter of another prominent member of the community."

"Scandal?" I stared at her. "As in...?"

"I would rather not get into that Amber! Roger was extremely embarrassed by the whole thing!"

I didn't need her to tell me, I had a pretty good idea what the scandal was.

"My father knew Roger's from previous business dealings. Roger's parents came to my house to meet with my parents and the next thing I know, I was told to pack my stuff because I was going with them."

There were so many things that I disliked about what she said but I knew that's how it worked; it was how my parents ended up together. A business deal between my grandparents. I glanced at Reed and found him looking at me, he smiled and so did I. We may have been set up to meet but our relationship was ours, our love was real.

So basically. Lucinda met Roger at a party, they slept together and she got pregnant. She was pretty much forced to give the baby up, even though she agreed at first, she changed her mind but still wasn't able to keep the baby. A few years later, both of their parents made some kind of business deal that included marriage between Roger and Lucinda. They got married and had their second baby boy, five years after their first baby was born.

Reed is freaking out. He wants to met his brother. He wants his mother to tell his father about him and he wants to try and see if they could be a family. He told me that night, when we were lying in bed that he always wanted a brother. "I just hope that he wants to be mine."

Lucinda didn't want to tell Roger, even now but when Reed told her that it was only a matter of time before his brother figured out that his parents were in town, he would look for them. She told us she would tell Roger the next time she saw him. That was last night.

From Reed's end of the conversation with his mother late last night, I don't think Roger took it all that well. When he got off the phone, Reed told me that his father stormed out when Lucinda told him about the baby. "Mom has been trying to reach him but he won't answer his phone."

Reed went out looking for his father last night but came home empty handed.

Before Lucinda left the other night, she asked me if I could get Penny to tell me more about her son. "I don't even know his name," she cried. "I didn't get to name him before they took him."

I'm not looking forward to asking Penny anything about the guy she thought was Reed but I have to admit, I'm curious to find out exactly how much he looks like Reed.

When I told Reed that, he laughed and asked me to promise not to go ga-ga over his older brother. "Remember that it's me you love, darling."

I don't think Reed has anything to worry about, no man could be like him.

Asking Is Harder Than It Seems

I had no idea how Reed planned on bringing up the subject of his possible brother to his mother at dinner that night and when I asked him, he would tell me that he wasn't sure. "But when the right moment comes, I'll know what to say," he tried to sound confident but I knew he wasn't feeling it at all. But who could blame him? To find out that you aren't an only child? I don't know how I would handle it but I don't think I would be as calm as Reed seemed when his mother arrived on our doorstep that night. I know if it were me, I would've called my mother up and asked her flat out because sometimes I just don't have the tact that Reed possesses.

I wanted this issue to be over, not only because it was driving us crazy, no I guess I could handle crazy but what I couldn't handle was Reed not being as touchy feely as he normally is. I missed his gentle caresses, I wanted to feel his lips against my temple as we lay in bed at night, and I needed to see the desire in his eyes when he looked at me. I hated that this issue was taking a toll on our love life, I don't think he's even attempted to initiate even a kiss in the time since that night. Maybe I was being selfish but I wanted some of his loving.

So when Lucinda showed up for dinner the other night, I was excited. It would soon be over, I thought. We'll have some answers and we'll know where to go from there.

I was just finishing getting dressed for dinner when I heard Reed answer the door. Although we were having dinner at the house, Reed insisted that we dressed up for it. "I just want everything to look nice," he told me when I asked him why. "I know my mom will be dressed for it and I think we should too. I don't want her to feel out of place or disappointed with us, especially tonight."

"Fine," I gave in.

"Great," he smiled at me. "Do you think you could wear the black pants and that cream color shirt that I pulled out of the closet for you?"

"Why? Do you think your mom will mind if I wear something else?"

"No," he told me. "I just think you look really hot in it." Before I could even say anything, he was walking away, smiling.

So what did I do? I ran upstairs and slipped into the clothes he picked out for me; it felt both strange and exciting at the same time.

I had just returned from changing as he showed his mother to the couch where he stood by her side until she was seated and then asked if she wanted to something to drink. He had to walk pass me on his way to the kitchen to get the ice tea that she requested and when he walked by me he gave me a smile and I swear there was some heat in his eyes. And it gave me hope that I would be on the receiving end of some kisses at least by the time the night was through.

Reed didn't bring up the guy during dinner, I think he was more nervous about it than he let on. Or maybe he didn't want to spoil dinner with it.

Dinner had been over for an hour, Reed and Lucinda were in the living room talking about work, Alexis and his father while I was getting Alexis ready for bed. "Come on snuggle, let's go see if daddy wants any kisses before you got to sleep."

"Amber," Lucinda smiled up at me when I entered the room with Alexis in her pjs. "How about you? How is your work going?"

I glanced at Reed and he shook his head. "It's going ok," I told her but I think she sensed there was something going on because she told me she wanted to hear more after I put Alexis down.

"Give Nana kisses," I told Alexis as I held her towards Lucinda. Once Lucinda was done trying to kiss the face off Alexis, I turned to Reed and held out Alexis. "Do you have any kisses left for daddy?" I asked as Reed stood to take her out of my arms.

"Of course she does, don't you Princess?" Alexis replied with a wet kiss on Reed's open mouth.

I went to take her back but Reed wouldn't give her to me, instead me turned to his mom and asked her to excuse us, we needed to put Alexis to bed. I was surprised when his mother just smiled and nodded, I was so sure she would tell him that he didn't need to be there when I put Alexis to bed; it was something his father would certainly say to him.

"I don't know what to do," he confessed once we were in the privacy of Alexis' room. "I can't think of a way to bring it up!"

"Calm down," I whispered as I placed my hand on his arm. "Let's get Alexis in bed and then we'll talk about it." I watched him give Alexis one last kiss goodnight before he bent over her crib and placed her on the mattress.

"Ok," I said once he turned back towards me. "What are we going to do?"

Reed sighed, "I don't know. I told you, I can't think of anything."

We talked for a few minutes but still didn't have anything when we joined Lucinda in the living room.

I guess in the end it was our nervous behavior that tipped her off that there was something on our minds. Of course, she thought the worst. "Is everything ok between the two of you?" She asked us. "I hope you didn't invite me here only to tell me that it wasn't working out."

"No mom!" Reed seemed offended that she even asked that. "Amber and I are doing just fine, we are happy."

"Then why are you two sitting so stiffly on that couch?" She inquired. "Most other times you two would be exchanging glances or touches or whispering to each other at the least. There's something wrong, I know it and I won't leave until you tell me what it is!"

Reed and I turned to each other, he looked just as lost as he did in Alexis' bedroom a few minutes before. "Ok," I sighed, turning back to Lucinda. "To be honest things have been a little strained around here the last couple days Lucinda."

"Oh no," she groaned softly before asking what the problem was.

"Well it has to do with some one I work with," I started to tell her about the phone calls I was receiving late at night - the whispering voice, the accusations and my refusal to believe what the woman was saying.

"Of course you didn't believe it!" Lucinda said disgusted. "The woman was nothing but a tramp who thought she could come between Reed and you but she picked the wrong couple! My Reed loves you!"

I smiled, "Yes he does. I told her this but the calls continued." I went on to tell her about the last call. "This time it was different," I told her how Reed wasn't in the room with me and I forgot that he had gone to check on Alexis. "It wouldn't have made any difference but the voice..." I hesitated for effect, I wanted to see if she would show any response at all.

She didn't. "What voice?" She gave me a questioning look.

"The guy that was with Penny, he must have woken up or something because I heard him for the first time and I swear he sounded so much like Reed," I frowned and told her it was uncanny. "I thought I was hearing things, I thought he was in the room with me but he wasn't."

"Well..." Lucinda tried to say something but she couldn't get it out.

"I ended up running downstairs because I remembered that Reed was checking on Alexis. They weren't in her room but I soon found him sleeping on the couch with our little girl in his arms. But I still heard the voice on the other end of the phone."

"It could be just a coincidence?"

I nodded, "It could be but the way Penny freaked out when she heard Reed talking to me when I woke him made me think that she honestly thought Reed was with her. Which was crazy, right? There is only one like him in the world and" I turned to Reed, taking his hand in mine. "And he's sitting right here."

Lucinda didn't say anything but I heard her making noises. "Lucinda?" Reed and I both turned to her at the same time, she looked so pale, like she was going to pass out.

"No...it's...no!" She stared at us as she shook her head. "It...no!"

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"I have to go!" She said suddenly. "I have to get home." She jumped up but she didn't move anywhere. "I...no..."

"Mom please!" Reed jumped off the couch and was at his mother's side in no time. "Please sit down and tell me what's going on with you."

Lucinda let him help her sit down and she didn't let go of his arm once she was seated. "I..." she looked at him and shrugged helplessly.

Reed closed his eyes, dropped his head to his chest for a moment. When he looked up again, he asked her point blank. "I have a brother, don't I?"

Lucinda's eyes widen for a fraction of a second before she nodded sadly. "Yes Reed you do."