Saturday, April 21, 2007

Answers Have So Many Different Layers

Do I still love him? How can I answer that? I wondered.

"Amber?" Reed moved closer to me, closing the distance that was a buffer between us. I couldn't look at him, I knew that if I did he would know the answer to his question and I don't know if he would've liked the answer he got. "Amber?" He repeated my name, this time he reached out his hand and put it on my leg.

Oh god! I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to send him telepathic messages to stop touching me. I can't think when you do that Reed, please stop.

He sighed, "Amber please say something?" He sounded so sad, I couldn't help but turn my head in his direction. Reed sat up straight, "Please tell me. I need to know Amber. I don't want to hold on to the hope that one day we will be happy together if you have no desire to be with me."

How do you tell someone that you don't know? I sighed. Ok, I do know. I know that every time he's around I can't help but think of our future - together. But when he's not here...I...I...miss him.

While I was having my little mental moment, Reed got off the couch to go stare out the window. Hmm, I thought as I watched him. I've done that many times before, when I didn't know if I was going to like what someone was about to say.

Why is it so hard to tell him how I feel? Why can I tell people who don't matter, like Devon but I can't tell Reed? "Reed, I -" His cell started to ring as soon as I began to speak.

Reed turned, he was looking at me expectantly. "What Amber?"

"Aren't you going to answer that? It could be important."

He shook his head, "No this is more important to me."

"Oh," I didn't know what to say. I was so used to my father putting his work before my mother and me, that he surprised me.

"Amber, you were going to say something?" Reed had left the window and was seated next to me again. "Please go on."

"Well, I was going t-" Reed's cell started to ring again. "Just answer it," I told him.

Reluctantly he got up to grab his cell from the table, "Hello?" He sounded a little snarly. "Oh! Mr Sands, hello."

I frowned, what does my father want with Reed?

"Well," Reed looked over his shoulder at me. "I'm at Amber's at the moment. No, Alexis is sleeping. What?" Reed started to play with his phone's case as he talked to my father. "No sir, Amber and I are just talking."

What? My head snapped up, is my father asking about me and Alexis? I stared at Reed but he didn't know it because he wasn't turned in my direction.

"But Carl, I thought that they weren't available until the first week of May?" Reed turned towards me, he didn't look too happy. "Tomorrow? Are you - oh ok, yeah I will. Ok, bye." He snapped his phone closed and stared at it.

"Reed?" He looked up at me when I said his name. "What did my father want?"

Slowly he put his phone back in its case and came over to sit with me again. "We've been working on a high profile account for months, we were supposed to have until the beginning of May before we presented our ideas to them. Your father just called to tell me that they are moving the deadline up to next Monday. He told me I have to come back today, there's an emergency meeting scheduled with the entire team for tomorrow morning."

"Why can't they wait until Monday?"

Reed sighed, "We have so much work to do still, pretty much three weeks of work in one. Your father is freaking a little."

"Oh," I didn't want him to go. I'm not prepared for him to go today! "What about Alexis? Are you going to leave without saying bye to her?"

"I know your father wants me to come back now so we can go over some stuff before tomorrow but I don't want to go," he laughed. "I want to see my little girl."

"Well," I glanced at the time, Alexis would be asleep for a while longer. "I could wake her up if you'd like?"

He shook his head, "No. I don't want that. Your father is just going to have to wait." Reed stretched and yawned. "Besides, I think I need to get some sleep before I go anyway. I didn't get much last night."

I got up to let him stretch out on the couch.

Ok, now what do I do? I couldn't watch TV, or go onto my computer because both of them would make too much noise in the quiet apartment. If he wasn't lying on the couch it wouldn't be such a big deal. I glanced over at him, he was turning over as he tried to get comfortable.

I walked over to the couch and touched his shoulder, he looked up at me. "Why don't you go lie down on my bed? It'll be more comfortable than the couch and I can do some house work without bothering you."

He didn't argue with me, he just said thanks as he walked towards my room.

I sat down on the couch and picked up the remote to the TV. I didn't feel like watching TV and none of the movies I had jumped out and screamed, 'watch me." I didn't really have any housework to do either.

So I sat there and thought about the question that Reed asked me, do you still love me?

I thought about it for a minute, I do love him. Jumping up, I headed for my room, I didn't want to sit by myself in the living room any longer.

When he went in my room he just pushed the door to, it wasn't closed. I lifted my hand to the door and slowly pushed it open, walking into the room.

Reed had removed his pants and shirt and was laying under the sheets of my bed. I waited to see if he would move or say anything but the soft snores that came from my bed told me that he was already asleep.

That didn't take long, I thought as I turned to go again. But when I tried to step through the doorway, I found I couldn't do it. What the hell? I thought.

I spun around and walked over to my bed, Reed was facing the opposite direction. As I gaze down at him, I lifted my hands to my body and removed my shirt and pants. Standing in just a tank top and panties, I wondered if I knew what I was doing for just a moment before I lifted the sheets and slid in next to him.

I didn't want to wake him but as I watched him sleep, I wanted his arms around me. I knew I couldn't turn him around, so I did the next best thing. I moved in close to him and wrapped my arm around him.

He jumped, which woke him up a little. He glanced down at my arm and then looked over his shoulder. When he saw me a smile formed on his lips, "Berrylynn," he mumbled as he turned to face me.

His arms were around me now, I was where I wanted to be.

In his half asleep state, he kissed my forehead. "I love you my darling Berrylynn."

I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to him.

"I love you too Reed," I whispered against his chest.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay =)

Anonymous said...

Yay =)

Anonymous said...

Wahoo!!! Team Reed all the way!

Mehreen said...

AHAHAH! I'm so happy for them! So now I have another blog date to hate, why can't he just butt out!

Anonymous said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH =)
i can't stop smiling, that's just soooo sweeet!hope everything goes well between them from now on!!

LDRN said...

I have a feeling that Chris won't take this well when he finds out. I wonder if Amber will move to that house that Reed built....
Go team Reed!!!

Anonymous said...

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!
thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!

Anonymous said...

i think the dad just wants reed to be away from amber and i agree that chris won't take this well, but i am super excited for reed + amber. yay!!!

Anonymous said...

omg yayayayya

Anonymous said...

this entry was beautiful. the writing was amazing.

Anonymous said...

Team Reed!!!!!!! I started that a few postes ago - don't feel guilty at all. YAY!!

Heather -- too lazy to sign in at 2 a.m. after I got home from my trifecta of an evening

Anonymous said...

That was awesome!
L

Anonymous said...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have the goofiest grin on my face right now... I am so happy for them!

-Meghan

Anonymous said...

Still so much drama to come! I agree Amber's dad is just trying to get Reed away & I know Chris isn't just going to let her go....

Stacey