Tuesday, May 15, 2007

First TIme For Every Thing

Did I ever mention that I love Madeline? Despite the fact that Reed's father is one of her offspring, I believe she is by far the greatest woman alive. She was probably the only one in Reed's family who didn't blame me for becoming pregnant and she never tried to deny that Alexis was her great granddaughter.

But the best part about her? She could put Reed's father in his place and there was nothing he could do about it. He wouldn't dare talk back to his mother.

We were sitting around the table talking. Both of our fathers were talking about work and our mothers were talking about some social event that was coming up. Madeline was asking me when we were moving back to town and I told her it would be soon. "And you are going to be moving into the house?"

I hesitated, I didn't want to talk about that when I haven't even told Reed that we wouldn't be. I still wanted to go ahead with the plan we already spoke about.

"I take your hesitation to mean that you aren't?" She gave me a smile, "Where are you going to be living dear?"

"Of course she's moving into the house!" Reed's father snapped, "My son didn't waste all that money just so the house will sit empty!"

"Father, I-" Reed started but his father cut him off.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to waste money on a lost cause?"

Lost cause? I glared at Roger and held Alexis tighter.

"Now Roger!" Madeline cut in before anyone could say anything. "There is no need of being so rude, I didn't raise you that way! As for you," she turned to Reed. "I love you Reed but you really shouldn't have gone ahead and planned Amber's future without even thinking to see if she was even interested in it."

"Now Amber," she turned to me. "Tell me what you are going to do when you move back here."

I told her I wasn't sure but she didn't believe me, "I'm sure you've thought about it dear. Are you thinking about working? Or going to school?" When I told her I was exploring options, she smiled at me. "I'm sure you will figure it out. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

"It's ok Grandma, I can help Amber with any thing she needs," Reed slipped his hand over mine as it rested on the table.

Not long after, our starters arrived at the table and everyone seemed to be focused on the food. Me, I was thinking that I should've spoke to Reed about my plans before we came to the club.

I really thought I should've talked to him about it a few minutes later when I spotted Devon as he walked in with his parents and a woman I could only assume was Annette. They sat down at a table just off to our left. I saw his father motion towards us, Devon stood and made his way over to us.

"Oh my," Madeline jumped up and gave him a hug when he greeted everyone. "Come and join us," she told him.

"I wish I could but," he glanced back at his table and sighed. "I just came over to say hello." He started to walk away when he stopped, turned around. He stopped beside my chair and leaned down, with one hand on the table and the other on the back of my chair."I'm sorry about yesterday," he whispered so that no one could hear him. "I know I said I'd call you tomorrow but I was thinking it would be better if we met at my office on Tuesday, what do you think?"

"Ummm...that shouldn't be a problem," I half turned to look up at him, "What time?"
"Well, I have meetings for most of the morning..." He looked upwards for a moment then he smiled at me. "Around 2? Does that work for you?" I told him that sounded good to me and he stood up and went back to his table.

Devon wasn't even sitting before Reed leaned in and asked me what he wanted. I glanced at him, "Can we talk about it later? I don't think this is the right place." He nodded and sat back in his chair but I saw the look he shot Devon's way.

We managed to make it to desert without any thing major happening, which shocked me. But the nice, pleasant meal wasn't meant to last. I'm not sure how it happened but some how it came out that I was job hunting the last couple days.

"Why didn't you tell me?" My father asked, "I have a few friends who could use some help, I'll give them a call when I get home and let you know."

I told him that I didn't want him to ask his friends, "I might have found some thing already."

Reed's father mumbled something about me not being qualified to get a job without someone pulling the strings.

"Roger, really!" Madeline threw her napkin on the table, "I'm tired of hearing you uttering nothing but negative comments against Amber. She is a lovely young woman and the mother of your granddaughter. If she says she has found something, then you should be happy for her." She turned to me and smiled, "You have spoken to someone?"

I hesitated, "Well I have a meeting with someone who seems to be interested in helping me out."

Beside me Reed stiffened, "Come with me," he said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me from my chair.

"Reed what are you doing? We were talking!" He didn't answer he as he led me from the dining room and down the hallway. "Oh!" I gasped as I walked into him when he stopped suddenly.

"Who is helping you?" He asked me.

"Reed this isn't the time to talk about this," I went to walk away from him but he stopped me. "We have to get back," I told him.

"No, I want to know who is helping you."

"I'm not talking about this here."

"Why is that?" Reed pulled me close, "Because you went running to my best friend and asked him for help?"

"I didn't go running to anyone!" I snapped at him. "I was out looking for a job when I ran into Devon and he started talking about a conversation we had before I got pregnant with Alexis. He said he might have a way for me to get my dream job."

"And you believed him?" Reed laughed, "Amber do you honestly think that Devon wants to help you?"

"Well I don't know Reed. But I want to know what he was thinking."

"You aren't meeting with him," Reed looked down at me. "If you want help getting your 'dream job' then tell me what it is and I"ll help you. But you aren't going to accept Devon's help."

I couldn't believe this. "Why wouldn't I accept Devon's help? He's your friend, don't you trust him?"

"That's not the point Amber. You are my girlfriend and I'll be the one to help you, not Devon or any one else."

I steeped back from him, "Excuse me?" I scoffed, "Who the hell do you think you are? You don't own me! And newsflash Reed, you haven't been my 'boyfriend' for a long time now!" I turned to walk away from him but stopped. "If you wanted to help me because you really wanted me to achieve my dreams, then maybe I would've come to you. But you only seem to be interested in having me do whatever you want me to do."

"Amber that's not..."

"I don't want to hear it Reed. I will accept Devon's help. I will be living at my parents house and I will be working so I can go to school in the fall. And I will do all that without your help!"

I got as far as the dining room doors when he caught up to me, "Why can't you just be happy being a mother to our daughter?"

"Because I'm more than that Reed," I shook my head. "I thought you knew that but I guess I was wrong."

We went back into the dining room, "Once we leave here. Alexis and I are going to my parents house."

"No you aren't," he told me.

Once brunch was over, Reed's mother invited everyone to go out on the lake with them. I wanted to do anything but that. I went to tell her I couldn't when Reed told her we would love to join them.

I was thankful that Madeline went along too, I don't think I would've enjoyed it if she wasn't there. We were sitting on the deck, I was holding Alexis in my arms.

"You and Reed had a fight, didn't you?" She asked and I nodded. "He's not happy you aren't falling into that perfect little spot that he had slotted for you, is he?" Again I nodded, "Good!"

I looked up at her and she laughed, "Reed's grandfather tried to pin me into that tidy little role too until he finally accepted that I would never be that woman for him. We were still very much in love the day he died Amber and I miss the old bugger everyday."

"I just thought Reed understood that life wasn't what I wanted," I kissed the top of Alexis' hat covered head. "I love our daughter and I love Reed but I don't want to be just a mother and wife. I want to run my own business, I want to be able to contribute to the life we have, even if Reed doesn't need my contribution."

"You want his respect as well as his love."

I nodded, "Yes. Am I crazy for that?" I sighed, "Everyone thinks I'm crazy for not letting him take care of me, for not moving into the house he built for me. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just afraid of losing myself if I do."

"AmberLynn, you have to do what you need to make you happy. I would love it if you and Reed were together, giving me more great grand babies - after you get married that is."

I smiled, "Mrs. AmberLynn Johnson. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a woman who knows who she is and couldn't be happier being that person." Madeline sat back in her chair, "She sounds like the person you'll be when you find yourself."

We got home late Sunday, Alexis was pretty much out when we walked through the door. So we stayed that night.

I was in his room picking up my stuff to bring it down to the guest room when he came out of the bathroom and sat on the bed. "I don't want you to leave," he said as he played with the edge of his pillow.

"We already talked about it, we agreed I would stay at my parents house and we would start over again."

"I know," he slipped over to where I was standing. "Amber," he held out his hands to me. I looked down at them for a moment before slipping mine into them. He ran his thumbs over the back of them, "I'm trying to understand, I really am. I know that you are doing what you feel is best for you but I can't help but hate it."

I sat on the bed next to him, "I know you hate it but it'll all work out. I'm sure if it Reed."

"Yeah, I guess so." He gave me a kiss on the forehead and then mentioned that he should get to bed.

I could feel his eyes on me as I finished gathering up all my things.

I was walking towards the door when I started to wonder what the hell I was doing.

Dropping my stuff on the floor, I walked over to his side of the bed. "Can I join you?"

Quicker than you could say just about anything, Reed turned on his side and held out the blankets so I could crawl in.

I spent most of the night wide wake listening to him sleep.

Yesterday passed with nothing too exciting happening.

Today I have a meeting with Devon, which hopefully isn't a waste of my time.

And tomorrow, I think I'm going back to my apartment for the last time.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

You think? Foreshadowing a little unnecessary Chris run-in? You already have enough plot twists with Reed and Devon, etc. Chris isn't germane to the plot anymore. Please please please put Chris out of his misery or don't talk to him at all. He was a distraction. That's all. He kept you from dealing with what you really want. Now you are on the right path. It is the road less traveled, but it's the right "road less traveled."

Heather

Anonymous said...

I LUV NANA!!!

Finally, some explanation of what she's been feeling and someone who understands her!!

Things that are worth working for are never easy, it will work out for them in the end.

Can't wait for the next post!!

G

Anonymous said...

Oh I know I am going to get in trouble for this! I think Reed's behavior at the Club was no different than Chris' little tirades. I realize that Reed didn't put his hands on her, but where does he get off on telling Amber what she can and cannot do? And where she has to go! I can't believe Amber actually went to the Lake after she said she'd rather not & then Reed said they'd love to. I did not like Reed in this entry AT ALL!! Just my humble opinion.............

Stacey

Annie Register said...

Reed was being a jerk in this entry. The whole "Why can't you just be happy being a mother to our daughter?" thing is SO insulting! Why is it so hard to believe that a woman would want a career of her own? I have nothing against stay at home mom's, but that is a choice they made, not one that was made for them b/c it is what is "done".

Anonymous said...

Reed's behavior was irrational, but he continues to improve. You all have to remember that we can read Amber's thoughts but Reed can't. Hind sight is 20/20 and I am playing Devil's Advocate. He was blind-sighted and now he is telling her he will get over it. It all came from a good place. He just wants to take care of Amber and Alexis and believes it shouldn't be difficult for Amber. Chris on the other hand wants control of Amber in every way. He did get physical and he keeps trying to manipulate her into coming back to him -- forcing his way in to her. If you love someone set them free. Reed is willing. Chris is a non-entity.

*Heather

Anonymous said...

Stacey - I totally agree with you! Reed was a total jerk and I think he is only going to get worse - especially if Amber meets with Devon. You're absolutely right when you say Reed acted no better than Chris. They are both control freaks and out to rescue the damsel in distress!

I think Reed is gonna turn out to be a total disappointment to Amber and she will regret ever moving back home! Her best friend Janie, on the other hand, will live happily ever after with Chris - the good guy that everyone thinks is so rotten!

Anonymous said...

Stacey I agree with you! Reed is trying to control her and put her into this little spot where's wife and mother while he's off working and when he realizes she has a mind of her own he throws a temper tantrum. I'm not so sure I'm liking him, unless he can grow up and really love her FOR WHO SHE IS.

Great blogs!!!

Anonymous said...

I think Reed is just trying to have a life like he is used to. His dad takes care of his mom and the same with Amber's dad and mom. So, I think naturally he thinks that is the best choice for him. Obviously, Amber doesn't feel that way. I think that Reed will eventually accept that. It just takes time.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been a big Reed fan throughout this blog, and I think this entry really shows his bad side!

Anonymous said...

Reed what are u doin, if you tell amber what to do that will just make her get driven more and meet with Devon! sheesh Reed get ur act together dont make me regret rooting for u! lol ... i think that there is going to be some trouble when amber gets home to chris...he will probably be all manipulative and stuff but hopefully seeing that she has Alexis with her he wont do anything! and i think amber/anna that you are doing a fantastic job! and i ABSOLUTELY LOVE the blogs so keep up the good work...but if you ever get bored or need more excitment i think that it would be a good idea if you wrote a blog with a guy's point of view...just a suggestion.. i think that would be cool!!! plz leave a comment and tell me what you think!

A. said...

I love this blog!

(Anyone want to check out mine?)

Anonymous said...

A.....Stars Are My Window is great! I just read it and I can't wait for the next update. Post soon - I'm dying to know how karaoke night goes! Thanks for telling us about it!

Anonymous said...

Yes Reed was a jerk telling her not to go to Devon for help, but if the roles were reversed and Reed was going to Janie for help over Amber, how would you all feel? It's kinda a put yourself in their shoes and I know I'd be upset if my hubby went to my best friend vs. me. He is trying to understand, but she is not being very good at communicating with him, she should have let him know about Devon's offer so it wouldn't have come as a surprise when she decided to meet with him.

Kate

Anonymous said...

Amber needs to communicate better with Reed.. You are keeping the important stuff from him and then he hears about everything at the worst momments possible.. Amber needs to get it together

Anonymous said...

Kate....Sorry, but I disagree. If Reed can't trust his best friend to help Amber, than who can he trust? If Devon has the business resources and connections to help her why not let him? Reed needs to stop acting like he owns Amber and like she's some dumb blonde (no offense blondes - I'm one too!) who can't take care of herself or do anything for herself. The whole premise behind Amber's wanting to make something of herself is to be able to prove that she can do it without Reed and his money. She's doing what's best for her and she's going about it the right way.

Anonymous said...

i'm not trying to defend reed cause what he said was just wrong.he does not own Amber and she can do whatever she wants! Telling her she can't do something just because he didn't like it is sooo controlling and so wrong!
But i can understand in a way why he reacted like that. See, the thing is (well that's my opinion but i could also be wrong here), he feels left out. Amber is doing all this stuff without his help and he's afraid that once she's on her feet, she won't need him anymore.and he just wants to be part of her life.sooo by telling her not to go to devon he think he can prevent her slipping away. but that's just not how he should handle it.Nevertheless Amber should also communicate with him more. Include him in her plans... tell him what she wants..

But Reeds actions can sooo not be compared with Chris'!!! Chris gave her bruises and told her she was a whore!!! You don't say or do that with the people you love. Reeds actions doesn;t even come close to that!!!!