Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Is It Friday Yet????

If I tell you I was disappointed with my 'first date' with Reed, that would be a huge understatement. I was extremely upset with him before the end. I couldn't believe that he could be so thoughtless.


Maybe I'm over reacting? It's possible, I'm not known to calmly examine a situation before I fly off the handle. But I think I was completely justified this time! Plus, I really didn't fly off the handle, totally.

So yesterday, I found myself running out of time before our date. I ended up pulling on a pair of casual pants and a nice t-shirt. I wasn't looking too dressy or casual, I thought I looked just right. I made it to my parents' house with just before Reed pulled up the driveway.

Now before I go any further, I just want to say we didn't talk about what we would do on our 'date', I assumed that he would have something great planned because he mentioned before that he was already planning it. So I didn't ask where we were going or what we were doing. I guess it's not totally his fault that the date sucked.

We were getting ready to go when he did something I wasn't expecting, he picked up Alexis and started to get her ready to go too! "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Getting Alexis dressed, it's cold out there you know."

I glanced at my mother, she shrugged her shoulders and had this fake smile pasted on her face. I knew she was looking forward to babysitting.

"Why don't you leave Alexis here with us?" My father asked Reed. I gave my father a smile, I was thinking Reed would see that it would be better to leave her with my parents. Seriously, who can have a really romantic date with a baby crawling around?

"You want to go with mommy and daddy, don't you Lexi?" Alexis did, of course.

Although I really didn't want her to go, I let it slide. I was telling myself that it's still possible to have a 'date' with Alexis there, his attention will just be divided between us, that's all. It'll be ok!

We left my parents' house and we headed out. He took us to a fast food joint, where he spent most of his time in the play area with Alexis. I tried to get him to come back to the table but every time he went to take her out of the area, she started to cry. So I sat in a crowded fast food joint, watching my 'date' play with our daughter as I nibbled on cold fries.

But I was still hoping that wasn't the end, that he would do something that made everything I wasn't expecting ok.

When he finally managed to pull Alexis away from the play area without her screaming, we all climbed into his car and set off down the road.

And that's when he turned down a road I didn't want to go down. And pulled into a driveway that I wasn't wanting to pull into.

That's right, we went to the house.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the house. I just didn't think we would end up there.

As I sat there looking at the house, I started to talk myself into believing that something great was waiting inside for us. That we were really going to have that 'date' we were on.

Once inside the house, he took Alexis' coat off and let her roam free. He turned to me, smiled and pulled me into his arms. His lips were soft on mine, I smiled and thought finally! I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him as we kissed. It was great...for the whole minute it lasted.

Alexis called out to him, he pulled back to look at her and then took off. "No Lexi don't touch that!"

I turned to see Alexis tugging on material that had a picture of Winnie the Pooh on it. She wanted it.

I joined them, asking Reed what it was and he told me he was looking at different ideas for Alexis' room. "Tell me what you think?" He picked Alexis up and grabbed a book. He headed off towards one of the couches and sat down.

Thinking it would only take a moment to look through the book and then we would get back to each other. I sat down with him and glanced at the different pictures in the book.

It was two hours later and we were still 'discussing' decor. Alexis was rubbing her eyes, she wanted to go to sleep. "I guess I should take you two home," he said reluctantly as he put away the book.

We got back to the guest house, Reed insisted on putting Alexis down, so I went to my room and changed. I guess I was worried for nothing, I thought as I stared at myself in the mirror.

I felt so sad. I was disappointed that I was so nervous and excited about our date but he didn't look at it as anything special. I wanted it to be special. I wanted to feel like more than 'mommy' to him.

When I heard him walking around in the living room, I went out. I was thinking that maybe now that Alexis was sleeping, we could talk and maybe make out some.

"Where are you going?" I asked, he was in the middle of putting on his coat.

"I thought I would go do some work at the house," he gave me a smile. "I'm actually looking forward to moving everything in and living there like you suggested."

"Oh," I turned my head away from him. I didn't want him to see how upset I was.

"What's wrong darling?" He came over to me, he tried to turn my head but I pulled away from him.

I tool a deep breath, "If you wanted to spend time with Alexis, you didn't have to pretend you wanted to 'date' me."

"What are you talking about? Didn't you have fun today?"

"No," I shook my head. "I didn't!"

"Well, you were the only one! Alexis and I had a blast."

"Good for you!" I snapped at him.

"Don't be like this Amber, just tell me what's wrong."

I told him I thought we were going on a date. "We did," he told me.

"No!" I scoffed. "You and Alexis spent time together, bonding. Which is really good Reed but don't get there and tell me that today was even remotely a date. It had nothing to do with me and you as a couple!"

"Yes it did Amber -"

"No! It didn't!" I cried, "Do you even remember what it was like when we dated? You couldn't keep your hands off me! You talked to me like I mattered." I sighed, "I felt like you loved me."

"I do love you," he lifted his hands to my arms. "It's not easy to do all those things with Alexis around -"

"That's why she wasn't supposed to be there!" I pulled away from him. "You told me you had been making plans for our first date Reed. You made it sound like it was really going to be something. Well it was, it was a whole lot of something and nothing I ever want to do again!"

"What do you mean? You said you wanted to be together!"

"I do!" I closed the distance between us, I was so close to him that I could feel his heart beating in his chest. "I want to be with you," I whispered softly, my fingers stroking the back of his neck. "I want to hold you, kiss you, touch you and make love to you. I want to talk, laugh and share with you. I want to see our daughter grow into a beautiful woman along side you." I leaned into him and kissed him on the lips.

"Then what's wrong Amber?"

"I thought it was going to be just us today Reed! I thought I would get to do some of those things I just told you I wanted to do. The only one we even touched on was a kiss, for a couple seconds." I looked down, "And I thought with Alexis sleeping you would want to do some of those things with me but you just want to leave."

Reed started to say something but he stopped, pulled back from me and whipped off his coat before pulling me into his arms. "So what was it you wanted to do again?"

I smiled up at him, "Hold you, kiss you, touch you..."

"...and make love to me?" He asked hopefully but I could hear the humor in his question.

"Yes!"

His eyes went wide, "Well ok..." he looked around. "Where's your room?"

I smiled, "You know I don't do that on a 'first date'."

He called me a tease as he lowered his head to kiss me.

We ended up doing everything I wanted, except the making love part. So I guess it was a great date after all...once I told him what was bugging me.

We have another planned for Friday night, he told me it would be a real date and asked me if my parents would mind watching Alexis.

I'm so excited!

Is it Friday yet???

12 comments:

Jenny said...

I am sorry. I really do like this blog and the writing, but Amber just seems a little selfish sometimes. I mean she has a guy who loves her and even more wants to have a family with her, and she wants to complain that on their "date" he was spending too much time with their daughter? Come on, its his daughter who he is still trying to make up on lost time with. Sometimes Amber needs to sit back and realize just how lucky she has it, most single, teenage,moms without a university degree would love to be in her situation.

Anonymous said...

I'm gunna have to agree 100% with jenny!

Anonymous said...

Nah! I don't think she overreacted.. A date is a date and does not include Alexis unless they BOTH agree on it. The date should have been about them.. it was no time to spend 2 hours on their baby's decor. Yes, Alexis is their daughter but a lasting relationship should be established between the parents if they want this to last. I love the blog, Amber!

Anonymous said...

I don't think Amber overreacted at all. He said a date. Having my kids along would not make it seem like a date at all. I think Amber is trying to see if Reed loves her for her or for being the mother of his child. I think she had enough time to think now she needs to find out what she wants in her life and get it!

Anonymous said...

I totally understand amber wanting to be on a date with just reed. As a new mother you need time with your husband/significant other that is just about the two of you because when the kids are gone it is just the two of you and you can't spend all the time they are there just focusing on the family you need to also build the relationship as a couple because in the end the children will grow up and make there own families I agree 100% with amber and i am glad in the end that it turned out for the best

Anonymous said...

A date is a date. Even though I have been married for 8 years we still have monthly dates that do not included the kids - that is family time. Me and my honey need to time to enjoy each others company without having to think about all the stuff that has to be done, like decorating the house or whatever. It is just me and him, dinner, movie, romantic walks. I think Amber was totally justified being angry.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with Jenny. When you have a child its so very important to have that time away to bond, just the father and mother, minus the child. Reed should have known better. And fast food??? What kind of date is that?
Yeah she has it lucky in her situation, but that doesn't mean should let him do whatever he wants without concern for her feelings.

Anonymous said...

I have to say I'm half and half. When he told her about "the date" he should've been more specific. I can understand that he wants as much time with Alexis as possible also, but he can do that separate from Amber. I hate that she waited so long to tell him. That was something she should've done in the very beginning.

I think their "dates" should be separate from each other, unless he or she says "family outing".

Anonymous said...

I don't think that really counted as a date, but I still think Amber overreacted. I love this blog, but I do think Amber is a little on the selfish side and definitely has some passive-aggressive stuff going on.

Anonymous said...

I'm on the fence about this one. I think Amber should be thrilled that Reed actually planned a family activity that was kid appropriate. (My husband likes doing "family dates" to places the kids don't do good in- like the art museum for our 4 yr old!) However, she was expecting a date- and to me a date would be just you and me, no kiddos. I would be mad if I was expecting a romantic night, and the kids came along, too. I guess next time she will have to either specify, or plan it herself!

Dawn

Anonymous said...

the past is the past ....at least their happy now! ....i just want to hear about friday already!!!! hurry up and come already!

Annie Register said...

It really just sounds like a lack of communication. Reed and Amber evidently had very different ideas of what their "date" was going to be like and neither one knew what the other was expecting. I have definitely learned that you can't assume your guy is on the same page as you! More than likely you are w-r-o-n-g.