Beachside Therapy

I arrived at Lowes twenty after one because the one thing my father always told me was to never be late for anything, plus I knew he would be there waiting for me. I hate having anyone wait on me. He was just being seated when I walked up to the table, he glanced at his watch and gave me a smile, "AmberLynn it's so good to see you." And then he did something I wasn't expecting...he hugged me.

"Hello father," I said as I returned the awkward hug.

Once we were seated the waitress came by and took our drink order. It wasn't until after we brought our drinks and took our order that my father said anything besides recommendations of what to order food wise.

He asked me how Alexis and I were settling into the house and if we needed anything. "No we are good," I told him.

"Your mother tells me that you went over to Reed's for dinner last night, things are going good between you two?" I told him they were going great. "That's good," he smiled. "I'm glad that he understands why you decided to stay with us for now. I was speaking with Reed this morning, he seems so much happier since Alexis and you came home. How about you? Are you happy cupcake?"

The waitress brought our soup and sandwiches which gave me an excuse not to reply right away. Hearing my father call me 'cupcake' still surprises me, it makes me wish that I could get the past few years back and do them all over again.

I found myself watching my father as he picked up the crackers that came with his soup and crumbled them into the steaming bowl. When did he get those grey hairs? I wondered, when did he start to look so old and worn down? Is he ok? I started to panic, I didn't want him to tell me that he was sick. Mom would tell me if he was, wouldn't she?

"Amber?"

I blinked twice as I pulled myself out of my thoughts. "Yes father?" Was that a wince? I wondered briefly when he didn't say anything but made a slight face.

"You didn't answer my question, I asked if you were happy?"

I found myself smiling, "Yes I'm very happy. I have a man who loves me, a daughter who couldn't be more perfect. I start a new job on Monday which doesn't take me away from Alexis like I thought would happen if I did find work."

My father nodded, "I was surprised when I heard that Devon introduced you to your boss; he seems to be a lot like his old man, I wasn't sure if he would help you without strings." The way my father said 'strings' made me wonder if he thought Devon expected me to 'put out' for his help.

"Devon is Reed's best friend father..." my voice trailed off as I saw that look again, why is my father wincing? "Are you ok?"

His soup spoon paused half way to his mouth, "Yes I'm fine Amber. Why do you ask?"

"It may be nothing but you just winced twice. You would tell me if there was something wrong health wise, right father?" This time he wasn't too good at hiding it, he winced again. "You just did it again!"

My father looked around, "Amber please don't raise your voice. I can assure you that I'm as fit as I can be for my age and there's nothing wrong with your mother either. Now please eat your soup."

Our lunch didn't last much longer than that, my father got a call from Roger and he had to leave. "I'm really sorry," he told me as he walked me to my car. "I hope that we can do this again soon, without any interruptions."

Last night I called Reed and asked if we could come over for a little while; he seemed excited that I wanted to see him. When I got to the house, I asked him about it.

"I thought I had to make plans for us to see each other Amber," he told me as we walked hand in hand down to the lake; he was carrying Alexis and I was carrying her bag and a blanket.

"Reed," I stopped and held tight to his hand, stopping him in his tracks. "Why did you think that? You don't think I want to see you as much as you want to see me?"

He shook his head, "I'm still getting use to all the changes Amber, I don't want to mess this second chance up."

"I don't want too either," I told him and started back down towards the beach.

We spread out the blanket on the sand and sat down. We spent most of the time playing with Alexis as I told him about my lunch with my father.

"What do you think the wincing was about?" I asked him when I told him the story.

"I don't know darling," he laughed as Alexis tried to crawl over his chest but stopped halfway over. He asked me to tell him what I said each time my father did it but he still shrugged and said he didn't know. "Why does it bother you Amber?"

I sighed, "I don't know Reed, I guess I don't want to find out that my father is sick or something."

I went to picked Alexis off his chest when she started to scream, "Da da da da da."

"Ok," I laughed at her and let go. "I'll let you stay like that, stuck on daddy's chest."

"Amber?" Reed held Alexis to his chest as he sat up, he looked like he was having an idea. "You called him 'father' every time he did that, didn't you?"

"I don't know Reed. I always call him 'father' you know that."

Reed sat Alexis on his lap and looked at me. "I may be totally off base but what if that was the reason he was wincing?" I gave him a funny look. "You didn't always call him 'father', you told me there was a time when you called him 'daddy'. You also told me that he did call you 'cupcake' a few times, what if he's trying to get that back? What if he wants the relationship with you that he would've had? Maybe you calling him 'father' drives home the fact that you don't need him and he doesn't like it."

I laughed, "Yeah and monkeys will fly outta my butt Reed!"

"It was just a thought!" Reed snapped, "I know that if Alexis started calling me 'father' instead of 'da da' I'd be a little upset."

I stared at him, I knew he was only trying to help and I did ask him. "I'm sorry Reed. I just find it hard to believe that after all this time, it only bugs him now."

"Maybe it always bugged him Amber but he didn't feel that it would ever change. You aren't as angry at him as you were even a couple weeks ago Amber; maybe he's trying to have the relationship with you that he once had and you calling him 'father' brings home the fact that it may already be too late."

Reed gave me a lot to think about last night. As I sit here this morning I wonder if he's right. And if he is right, how do I go about helping change my relationship with my father? And do I really want too?

Is it ever too late?

The Sweetest Moments

This is going to be short because I'm on my way out to have a late lunch with my father, that's right...my father! I'm not sure what he wants to talk about but he called me yesterday and asked if I would meet him at Lowes Cafe by his office around 1:30 today.

So last night didn't go exactly as I planned. But I'm not complaining!

Reed came by to pick us up after he got off work at 5. He must have taken the time to stop at home to shower because he smelt so yummy! I'm not sure what kind of shower gel he uses but damn it gets me hot with just one tiny whiff.

We got to the house shortly before 6. I couldn't believe the difference in the house from the first time I saw it to now, it's surprising how much furniture and personal items can make a house seem like a home. I felt little tugs at my heart as we made our way pass his furniture as we headed for the back deck, I almost regretted not moving in with him right away. It's for the best, I told myself. You owe it to Reed, Alexis and yourself to be sure of who you are.

I was a little surprised to see that Reed was intent on barbecuing, I didn't know if he ever cooked anything before. "I can do it," he reassured me when I gave him a questioning look.

And he wasn't kidding! I have to say that the man as mad skills when it comes to grilling!

We sat out on the deck, drinking loads of pop as we ate, talked and watched Alexis play in the little area that Reed had gated off for her.

I was having a lot of fun, it was nice to be able to relax with him like that. It was getting close to 8 when I mentioned having to go because Alexis would need to go to bed and he told me that we would be welcomed to stay. "I have her room set up here, all we would have to do is give her a bath and put her to bed." Before I could reply, he continued. "I would like it if you stayed tonight Amber, I want to share this whole night with you."

He didn't have to tell me twice, I didn't want to leave. As you all know, I was still fantasizing about him and I was thinking we would carry out some of my deeper desires.

We didn't make love last night though. We both wanted too but it didn't seem like it was in the cards. Alexis decided last night was a good time to cry every half hour.

I know it's not her fault, I think she might be starting to teeth, her little cheeks were red and she was trying to chew on anything she could get her hands on.

Reed and I spent most of the night trying to soothe her. When she finally fell asleep and stayed that way, it was getting really late and he had to get some sleep. Once Alexis was down, we went back to bed, Reed pulled me to him as we got comfortable. "Despite how tired I'm going to be tomorrow, I'm so glad that I was able to be here for both of you tonight."

I looked up at him, I was about to tell him he was crazy when I realized that he missed out on some of the little milestones in Alexis' life. I couldn't believe that I didn't think of it before, I decided that the next time he was at my place I would show him all the stuff that I had in the 'Alexis' box; photos, clothes, journals, etc - little mementos for me to treasure as my little girl grew up.

Water, Drunk Call and Surprising Insight

I reluctantly followed Reed out of my house, I didn't want to leave but he wouldn't let me stay home, "I promised you a real date and I'll be damned if I let you talk me into taking you back in there to make love to you all night long," he jokingly told me when I told him I have something in the house for him. "Now be a good girl and keep your lust for me under control."

"My desire for you isn't controllable Reed," I yelled at him as he walked around the front of his car to get in the driver's seat. "It's all your fault anyway," I told him when he slipped behind the wheel. "If you didn't make me fall in love with you, I wouldn't want to make you happy," I continued.

He smiled, "I'll take the blame for that," he leaned over to give me a quick kiss on the lips. "How about you control yourself for the first hour?"

I gasped, "You are gonna make me wait a whole hour?"

"Well," he started the car. "We could forget about our date and I could take you back inside -"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" I grinned at him.

"But I won't stay," he continued, "I'd be too heartbroken about you not wanting to be seen with me in public." He was joking, I could tell even if he wasn't chuckling.

I stuck my tongue out at him, "Drive on sexy beast," I said with a smile.

And he did.

I didn't know where we were going still, I asked but he refused to tell me what he had planned, told me that it was a surprise. But when he turned down the road to go to the lake, I got a little uptight.

"Relax Berrylynn," he reached over and took my hand in his, bringing it to rest on his thigh. "We aren't going to the house," he laughed. "Unless you can't wait until we get back to yours before you rip my clothes off!"

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you," I told him in a sexy voice as my fingers stroked his inner thigh through his shorts. "Where are we going?" I thought I'd try again to find out.

"In the trees, if you don't stop that right now." He shifted in his seat and my eyes were drawn to the bulge in his shorts. I didn't say anything but I did stop stroking his thigh, I wanted to stroke other parts but I knew the trees was exactly where we'd end up if I did that.

Soon we were at the lake walking down the pier towards his family's boat. Reed was carrying the bag Janie packed for me and a bag of his own, I was beginning to wonder if we were going to go out sailing and spend the night on the water. It was something I always wanted to do but his parent's would never let him take the boat out without them there.

"Stay right there," he told me when I went to follow him onto the boat. "I won't be long."

It was probably because I was shocked that I did what he told me as he disappeared. Ok, I thought as I looked around at the people milling around the pier. So we aren't going out on the boat, is he planning a picnic lunch like he did when Alexis was with us? I felt kind of disappointed, well it's the planning that matters! I told myself as he reappeared in front of me just carrying the bag he brought with him.

"Ready?" He asked me and took my hand in his. We walked back towards land, it seemed like we were headed back to his car when he tugged on my hand and pointed off to his right without a word.

"I wish the sun was closer to setting," he said as we strolled along the path that followed along the edge of the lake.

"Why is that?" I glanced at the sun which was sitting pretty high in the light blue cloudless sky still.

"Because," he dropped my hand to slip his arm around my waist, "it would be more romantic if it was a little darker."

"A moonlit stroll around the lake?" I rested my head against him and looked up.

"Not quite, but it would be nice. Don't you agree?"

"Mmmm," I closed my eyes and let him lead me as I thought about the last time we walked around a lake. We were camping with his friends, they were all drunk and yelling/singing songs around the fire they made. Reed and I were sitting on the ground near the fire, trying to have a conversation and make out a little but they would keep bugging us. At one point he asked me to take a walk with him and I jumped at the chance to be alone with him. We started out, not planning on going that far but we lost track of time and ended up circling the lake in only the moon to light our way.

I still had my eyes closed when I noticed that the trail was getting rough, "Reed?" I opened my eyes and looked around. "We went off the trail!" I tried to turn around but he wouldn't let me. "I don't want to get lost!"

He told me to have a little faith in him, "We aren't going that far, I promise."

We seemed to walk non stop for almost an hour, the ground was uneven and sometimes he had to move branches out of the way for us to pass through. I was so scared that we were lost, I didn't think I would see my little girl again. Honestly, panic was setting in and I was about to tell him that I wanted to go home. But then I heard it, the sound of water running and it got louder the further we walked. I said his name but he just smiled at me and started to walk faster, he was excited. He let go of my hand and ran to the trees that were in our path, pulling them back to reveal the source of the noise I was hearing, a small waterfall that I never knew existed.

Reed motioned for me to walk though and then followed me onto the grass that lay directly before us. "Isn't it pretty?" He asked, his arms slipping around my waist as he held me back against him.

I barely managed to nod as I took in the scenery in front of me. The waterfall wasn't a huge one by no means, it was maybe ten feet tall and the water wasn't gushing down, it kind of seemed like a nice relaxing shower rather than a waterfall. At the base of the falls, there was a small pool of water, just big enough for two people. It was then that I was wishing I had a bathing suit on, I so wanted to get in the water with Reed. I guess I'll have to be content with just making out with him on the grassy shore, I grinned and looked over my shoulder at him.

As if he was reading my thoughts, he asked me if I wanted to go for a swim and when I told him I didn't have a bathing suit, he glanced around and smiled. "How about we go skinny dipping?"

"Are you crazy?" I asked him.

"Who's going to see you?" He asked, "there's no one here and it's not like it's a well known place. There isn't a path leading to here. It's not on the map of the trails around the lake."

What he said made sense and the more he spoke the more I was turned on by the idea of being naked in the water with him. I told him ok and he started to take his clothes off as he watched me. "No looking!" I told him, he protested saying he's already seen me naked but turned around, stripped down and headed for the water anyway.

Once he was in the water, I quickly discarded my clothes and joined him. "Oh shit!" I gasped as I slipped into the cool water. I was shivering in a heartbeat, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea!"

Reed turned to me and smiled, "I think it was a great idea." In no time at all I was in his arms, "I'll keep you warm," he told me as he kissed my goosebumps away.

Things were getting a little hot and heavy, I was turned on worst than I was at the house, I was so close to asking him to make love to me there in the water. "Maybe we should get out," I whispered against his chest. He was hesitant, he told me he didn't want to let me go. "I need to get out of the water," I told him.

If I thought getting out of the water would lessen the burning need I had, I was so wrong. I never thought about the fact that we were naked until Reed walked towards the shore and stood before me in all his glory. "I thought you wanted out?" He said when I didn't follow him.

"Uh huh," I replied, he had pulled a towel from the bag he brought with him and was drying off, I couldn't take my eyes of his body. Reed had always been in good shape, he wasn't overly muscular which was fine by me. He spent a lot of time outside, he always had but I didn't notice until I watched him dry off that he didn't have any really noticeable tan lines. "Do you walk around naked all the time?"

"What?" His head snapped up, he was in the process of securing the towel around his waist when I asked that. I mentioned about his lack of tan lines and he laughed, "I have tan lines!"

"No, you don't." I yelled from the water where I was still hiding. He told me he did again. "Ok where?"

"Come out and I'll show you where," he gave me a mischievous grin and held out a towel for me.

I made him close his eyes, which he didn't do without complaining. When I was certain he wasn't peeking, I hurried out of the water and ran up the shore to him, holding my hands over my chest and crotch, in case he was peeking. He laughed when I ran into his arms, "You are silly, you know that?" He held me tight, kissing me passionately while his hands ran the towel over my wet skin.

Once I was dry, he turned to the bag he brought and pulled out a blanket as I wrapped the towel around me. I'm not sure how long we laid there on the grass in each others arms, listening to the waterfalls when we weren't talking or making out. It was so peaceful there, I could've stayed there for the rest of the night and I would've been really happy. I told Reed that and he told me that if I did that I would miss the rest of the date.

"There's more?" I was surprised, I thought that bringing me here was the whole thing. He told me to get dressed and we could get started with the rest, "If you want too that is."

It was a hard choice to make but in the end we got up, got dressed and made our way back to the trail and civilization.

The rest of the date took place on his parent's boat. Reed took the boat out on the lake and we had supper, which was brought out to the boat while we were at the waterfall, so it was still pretty hot. After we were done with the food, he led me to the hammock that his father had set up on the deck a few years ago. We stayed curled up in the hammock together until after the sun had set.

It was late when we pulled up to my house, Reed came in with me and we curled up on the couch, just holding each other.

We must have fallen asleep because we jumped out of our skin when his cell started to ring. He glanced at the caller id and sighed. "Devon," he told me as he answered the phone.

I don't remember the exact conversation from Reed's side because I was still half asleep but Reed told me after he hung up that Devon saw Janie. "He was with Annette so he didn't do anything. He doesn't think Janie saw him either."

"So why did he need to call and tell you that?"

Reed sighed, "He called me to ask me to go and pick him up from the bar."

"Why can't he call his fiancee?"

"I guess he told her he was hanging out with me tonight."

I asked him if that meant he was leaving me to go hang out with Devon and he nodded. "I don't want too but..." he sighed. "I don't know what I should tell you."

When I asked him what he meant, he told me that he wasn't sure what I wanted to know about Devon's situation. "I don't envy him," he told me.

"Why not?"

"I wouldn't want to have to marry someone because my father pissed off the wrong person and now they own his ass."

"What does that have to do with Devon? Why does it affect him?"

"Well the person his father (Wayne) pissed off was his business partner, Max. Max owns the most shares in the company, he funded Wayne when they started out a long time ago. Wayne isn't the smartest guy in the world, but he can sure design some amazing structures." Reed went on to tell me that Wayne was a womanizer and he made the mistake of seducing Max's girlfriend and getting her pregnant. "Devon's mother doesn't know about the child and if she did it would probably kill her, she wanted more children after Devon but Wayne didn't. Devon went to Max to see if they could come to an understanding so that his mother would never find out about the baby."

"You mean, he has to marry Annette to stop his mom from finding out about his father's affairs?"

Reed nodded, "I can't even imagine that. If I couldn't be with you because of something my father did, I would go mad!"

"What do you mean?"

After giving me a look that told me I was crazy, Reed said, "Devon loves Janie more than you know Amber."

He left not long after that conversation.

It's been three days and I'm still trying to wrap my head around that comment. "Devon loves Janie..." Even now, I can't believe it.

I wanted to tell Janie what Reed told me. But I didn't want to crush her happiness, she was just beaming from her date with Cary.

Reed came over on Saturday to spend time with Alexis but she cried the entire time he was here...seems she didn't understand that he was still her daddy, even with the short hair.

It was better yesterday though, she hesitantly crawled over to him when he came in the door. By the time she was to go down for her nap, she didn't want to get down from his arms.

Tonight Reed has asked Alexis and I to go over to the house for supper. A private dinner to celebrate his official first night in the new house.

I can't wait.

I think it may be the official 'first time' in the new house too.

Or at least I hope, I've been thinking of nothing but him naked on the shore of the waterfalls since Friday.

I guess we'll see.

Surprise, Surprise.

Apparently Alexis was upset since she woke up yesterday. My mother told me that she didn't want to do anything but sit around and pout. "Whenever your father would come in the room to see if she was happier, she would perk up but as soon as she saw him, she was grumpy again. I didn't know what to do with her Amber."

I looked down at Alexis who was sitting happily in her chair eating the cereal I made her for breakfast. "You missed mommy, didn't you?" She looked up, grinned and then smacked her hands down on the table, making the bowl jump. "Hey now, don't do that," I told her.

My mother sighed, "Your father said that's what was wrong with her. I hate it when he's right." I chuckled silently as she continued. "So honey, tell me. How was your night with Reed?" She looked around, "He's not here, is he?"

"Mother!"

"What?" She asked as she sat down in the chair across the table from me. "It's not like Reed hasn't spent the night with you before Amber, I was just making sure I wasn't interrupting anything." If I didn't know better, I'd think that she was hoping he was there and she was interrupting something.

"No, Reed didn't spend the night. He dropped me off and then went back to the house; he's moving stuff in this weekend. I think we are going over later to help him out."

My mother told me that was great, "I'm glad to see that he is taking your advice and moving into the house. So," she reached her hand across the table and smiled at me. "Tell me about your date? Did he take you some where nice?"

I told her what I told you guys yesterday, up to the looking Reed over and the 'OH MY GOD!" exclamation.

"Amber honey what was wrong?" She looked so concerned. When I told her nothing was wrong she frowned, "Then why did you react like that?"

Why did I react like that? Mmmm, I know why. I bet you are all wondering the same thing.

Well, let me tell you...

I straightened up in a hurry, my eyes were wide and I had one hand covering my mouth. I wasn't afraid or scared, I was shocked. Absolutely shocked. So shocked that I was very happy at that moment that I had a good heart.

Besides the feeling of utter shock that I was feeling, I felt something else. Something more primal. I wanted him right then and there.

I know that sounds kind of superficial but you all know that on a good day I want to jump his bones. Friday night, I was starting to wonder if we even had to go out at all. I was debating asking him if we could just stay in.

I know, you want to know what I'm rambling about. You all want to know what the big shock was, if you haven't already guessed that is.

"Reed?" My voice shook with my uncertainty, which was mixed with my already mentioned shock and desire. I reached out my hand to him, it was shaking so badly.

His smile slipped, a frown started to form on his lips. His lips, I groaned. I'm not going to get out of the house if I keep this up. I wanted to kiss those lips, I wanted to feel his body against me, I wanted...

"Amber?" He had stepped closer to me, I had no choice but tilt my head back to look up at him. "Darling what's wrong? It's not that bad, is it?" He ran a self conscience hand through his hair, his recently cut hair.

Now, I'm not talking a trim either. To give you some idea, think Johnny Depp. In my opinion he's an amazing actor, I don't think there's a role that he can't play; although him as Willy Wonka kinda freaks me out. So there may be a role he shouldn't have played. But anything, that's not the point. Think Johnny Depp, I know for some of you it's not hard for others, you don't really care for him but again so not the point. I want you to picture Johnny Depp...let's say at the premier of From Hell, without the facial hair that he had. And now picture Johnny Depp at the premier of Finding Neverland. That would be pretty much the before and after of Reed, except I think Reed is hotter than Johnny Depp. Of course, I'm bias!

"Darling please don't tell me it looks horrible! I can't grow it back that quickly!" It was so strange, he seemed so unsure of himself and there I was picturing all the things I would love to do to him.

"Reed I..." I didn't waste my time with words, I threw myself at him and with my lips, tongue and hands, I told him exactly what I thought of his new look. And if that wasn't enough, when I managed to pull myself away from him for a brief second, I told him he looked so hot. "Do we have to go out?" I asked him coyly as I ran my hands up and down his arms.

He chuckled, "If I had known you'd react this way, I might have cut it a long time ago!"

"Honey it's not the haircut that gets me hot." I stretched up, "It's the man, himself." I whispered just before wrapping my lips around his lobe. "Mmmmm," I groaned and so did he.

We were on the couch when we finally came up for air. The front door was still wide open. "How did that happen?" I asked him.

In between planting tiny kisses on my neck and shoulder Reed told me it was because I jumped him.

"I couldn't help it," I told him as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I can't believe you did this." I frown, "why did you cut your hair Reed?"

"I thought it was time," he sat up and pulled me onto his lap. "I'm tired of not being taken seriously. I want people to see who I am, not judge me for what I look like."

"Oh."

"I feel better about myself," he told me. "I feel like I can offer you so much more now." I told him I didn't know what he meant. "I don't know how to explain it Amber."

I sat there in his arms for a while, just thinking about what he said, something bugged me about it. I slipped my hand up to his cheek and he looked at me, "Does this have anything to do with all the changes that I've made in my life? Are you worried that you'll get lost in the shuffle?" He closed his eyes. "Reed, honey please tell me what you are thinking."

Without opening his eyes, he told me that he felt that if he didn't change, he would be left behind. "I don't want to miss out on anything in your new life Amber, I want to be there every step of the way."

"I'm not planning on leaving you behind," I told him with a kiss. "You didn't have to change to find your spot in my life. You'll always have that spot Reed, I don't want to be without you."

He hugged me tight, "I love you Amber."

"I love you too Reed." He held me tight for a while, it was so nice to be in his arms. I had forgotten that we were supposed to be going out, I was happy where I was.

But he didn't forget. "Ok you," he gave my bum a light tap. "We have a date, let's go!"

****

Heeheehee...I know it's evil but I'll have to finish this tomorrow...

Date Night

I love that man. I do, I love him very much. Reed is without a doubt the best guy in the whole world! Maybe I'm bias but he would defiantly get my vote for 'greatest guy in the world'.

Yeah, the happy feelings from last night haven't wore off yet...I bet you couldn't tell!

So what can I tell you about last night? Let's see...

Janie came over to help me get ready and to get ready herself for her second date with Cary. "I've been so caught up in Devon for so long that I didn't even realize that things weren't right." She told me. But when I gave her a 'yeah right' look, she added. "I mean I know they weren't right, he was cheating on his fiancee. I just meant that I didn't realize that there was more to being with a guy than sex. Cary made me feel so special when we went out, I rather liked feeling special Amber."

I told her I knew what she meant and she laughed. "Like Reed has ever not made you feel special! I remember all the gushing you did about him since the moment he helped you out of that bush."

"I got lucky," I told her. "I had to deal with a lot of jerks before I met him."

We talked about past boyfriends and bad dates for a while, it was scary some of the things we put up with for 'love'.I won't get into them right now but there was some real winners in the bunch.

Just like the night we got ready for Janie's date, we both showered. When I came out of the bathroom, Janie was putting some of my clothes into a overnight bag. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Ahh!" She jumped, dropping the bag on the bed. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" I asked her again what she was doing. "I'm just going to borrow these," she gave me a smile.

"Uh huh," I crossed my arms over my chest. Janie was taller than me by three inches, about 40 pounds lighter and had a smaller chest than I did...for some reason, I wasn't believing her. And she knew it.

"You weren't supposed to come out so soon!" She exclaimed as she zipped up the bag. "I can't tell you what is in here."

I was confused to say the least. "Why can't you...?" I had a thought, my eyes opened wide. "Oh my God! It's for my date tonight, isn't it? Reed told you want he's planning!" I gripped her arm, "You have to tell me! Please, please, please, please, please!"

But she wouldn't, she told me that it was a surprise. "Reed would kill me if I told you, he probably wouldn't like it that you know about this." She held up the bag and sighed, "I promised him I wouldn't tell you."

She tried to distract me by getting me to help her with her hair and what to wear. It worked for a while but the second she was ready, I asked her where he was taking me. She refused to tell me but told me that I was wearing the shorts and t-shirt that were laying on the bed. "Don't ask! I'm not telling you!" She said when I opened my mouth.

"Fine," I pouted as I slipped into my clothes. "But if Cary told me where you were going, I'd tell you."

Janie ignored what I said. "Here, let me do your hair," she said when I sat down in front of the mirror. She didn't do much with my hair, she just pinned the sides back and dried my bangs. I was starting to wonder if Reed had planned an outdoor date, would there be lots of walking? I wondered, even more so when she told me to wear my sneakers.

So there we were, Janie was dressed in a knee lenght brown skirt with a beige cotton shirt; she looked so nice. Me on the other hand, I looked like I was ready to take to the field. "I could play first base in this outfit!"

She laughed at me, "Yes but well he get pass first base on this date?"

There was a knock at the door, so I didn't have to answer her. Cary was standing on the step when I opened the door. Cary, like Janie, was dressed nice in a pair of black pants with a blue shirt. When he saw Janie, his eyes lit up. "Wow, you look amazing," he told her when she came over to him. "Are you ready to go?"

Janie nodded and then with a 'don't wait up' tossed over her shoulder, she disappeared.

I went to close the door but noticed the bag that she packed was sitting just outside the door. After staring at it for a moment or two, I said what the hell and went to pick it up but it moved out of my grasp. "I'll take that."

"Hey!" I laughed, as my eyes travelled up Reed's body. Like me, he was wearing shorts and a t- shirt. "OH MY GOD!" My hands jumped to my face.


*******

Damn it all...I have to run, my mother just brought Alexis over and she's not happy!

Alexis that is...my mother is looking happier than I've seen her in a long time.

'First' Date Jitters

I can't believe how nervous I am. I thought I was nervous the other day but this feels so much worst!

Reed called me a little while ago, told me that he can't wait to see me tonight. "You are not going to be disappointed my love. This will be the best 'first' date you've ever been on."

I really hope he's not just saying that, I don't want to expect something great and then be disappointed.

What the hell am I saying? I'm going on a date with the sexiest man in the world! It's going to be absolutely amazing.

I may even let him give me a good night kiss!

Ok, who am I kidding? I'll let him have more than one!

I have to go, Janie is here. She's going on another date with Cary tonight, apparently the date the other night went really well!

This Is How We Do It

Janie came over in a panic around 4 yesterday. "Why did I do it?" She asked as she blew into my house with what I could only guess would have been the entire contents of her closet. "I knew I shouldn't accept but I did, I couldn't wait to see him again." She spun around towards me after she got halfway to my room. "You have to help me! I have nothing to wear and he's going to be here in a couple hours!"

I watched her in amusement, she had started down the hall again, dragging the very heavy bags behind her. Looking down at Alexis, who was eating a cookie, I shook my head. "Aunt Janie is losing her mind over a boy."

We made our way to where Janie had now pulled everything out of her bags and had it thrown all over my room. "I don't know what to wear," she told me as she stood staring at the pile of clothes close to tears. "I don't even know what underwear to wear!" She glanced at me. "Why did I tell Cary I'd go out with him tonight? There's a reason girl's don't say yes to dates the same day!"

"How long before he comes to pick you up?" I set Alexis down on the floor with a couple toys and went to her. "Does he know to come here? Or are you going home?"

"I told him to pick me up here, I hope you don't mind. I don't want him meeting my mother just yet." She made a face, "It's one of her 'headache' days."

I nodded, Janie told me that since her dad left, her mom has been greeting the bottom of a bottle at least a couple times a day. She told me she tried to talk to her but she just wasn't listening. "So what time is he getting here?"

She hesitated, "We agreed on 7," I gave her a look. "What? You know it takes me forever to get ready! Amber! I want to look as pretty as I can. And I stink! I need a shower!"

I never said anything, I didn't even chuckle. I told her that she better not make plans for Friday night, "because I'll be the same as you are now! Reed and I are going on a real date!"

She told me that we were crazy, that obviously we loved each other. "I don't know how you can stand to live here when he's so close. I know I'd be making any excuse to be with him, if I were you."

"This arrangement isn't permanent Janie, I do plan of being with Reed. I just need some time to stand on my own two feet." She wasn't understanding me, I could see that. "Look, I know no one gets this, I know everyone thinks it shouldn't be this difficult but this is my life and need to know I can make it without him before I can make it with him."

Janie was trying to hold her laughter, I could see it in her face. "Make it with him?" She asked as her eyes travelled over to where Alexis was playing. "Oh Amber we all know you can make it with Reed!"

I rolled my eyes, "That's so not what I meant! Go get in the shower stinky!"

While Janie showered, I went through her clothes. I picked out a couple outfits but seeing that I didn't know where they were going or what they were doing it was really difficult to choose. "Hey!" I called out to her from the bathroom door when I heard the water stop. "Where are you two going?"

"He said something about an outdoors music show. I'm not sure if that's where we are going but he seemed excited about it!" She answered before adding, that she just wanted to be ready for anything. "Cary is taking me out," she said as she emerged from the bathroom in a robe and her head wrapped in a towel. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since a guy took me out?" When I told her I didn't she chuckled sadly, "Neither do I. We couldn't go out when I was with...him."

I nodded, what else could I do? "Anyway," she smiled at me. "That's history! And Cary is so much better for me anyway!"

Janie talked me into going and jumping in the shower too. "I'll watch Alexis for you, it'll give us some time to bond. And besides, this would be so much more fun if you were getting ready with me! Do you remember when we would do that?"

I did remember, it was one of the best things about some of the dates I've been on. So I gave in and went to shower as Janie searched through my CD collection to find the perfect 'date prep' music.

Coming out a few minutes later, where a robe and towel just like Janie was. When Alexis saw me, she started to tug on her clothes, trying to get them off. "Oh!" Janie exclaimed. "Alexis wants to get ready with us!"

So as Janie started on her hair, I ran a bath for Alexis and got her in 'date prep' mode; just that she had a diaper on under her robe.

By five thirty we had all showered, did our hair and were working on what we were wearing when Alexis got into Janie's make up and was going through her nail polish. "Oh my God! Can I?" Janie asked as she grabbed up Alexis and the polish she was holding in her tiny hands. When I said why not, Janie squealed. "This is going to be like the time we made up our cabbage patch kids! Do you remember?"

I laughed, "Oh yes, I remember!" We were so proud of the job we did. We were only 8 years old so the smudged make up and nail polish that ran down the dolls arm wasn't mistakes, it was art. "But let's do it better than that? She is my daughter!"

So while I held Alexis in my arms to keep her still, Janie applied polish to her tiny nails. Alexis was in awe of the color, she didn't move once as Janie did both her hands and feet. Once we were done and she was dry enough, we let her go. She sat on the bed, staring at her nails and giggling.

"Your daughter is weird," Janie told me with a laugh.

"She takes after her father!" I blurted out and we both cracked up.

By twenty after six, Janie and I had finished our make up. And we even put 'make up' on Alexis. Well, she thinks we did, I actually only brushed a clean brush over her cheeks and she was happy.

All that was left was getting dressed. It was a painstaking process, deciding what to wear. It took us from the time we showered until the time we were finished getting 'made up' to choose an outfit. And yes, even though we weren't going anywhere, Alexis and I took forever too!

"You are so lucky kid," Janie said to Alexis as she stood back on to us while putting on the pantie/bra set that we picked out. "You know what you are always wearing under your clothes! And no one expects anything different!" She didn't appreciate when I told her she could wear a diaper too.

I had just slipped into my panties when I heard knocking over the pause in the music we were listening too. Janie gave me a helpless look and froze. Looking at the time (six forty) I smiled, "No, it's not your date." I told her, "It's probably Reed, he said something about stopping by before he went to the house tonight."

I have to admit that even though I was still wearing the robe, I felt kind of sexy as I made my way to my front door. With the naughtiest grin I could possibly give, I opened the door for Reed. "Mmm, hello sexy," I purred.

He had started to say something but my greeting threw him off. He stared at me for a moment, then I could tell he was quickly trying to figure out if we had real plans for tonight. I didn't give him time to ask, I moved into him. "You look so yummy tonight my love," I lifted myself up on my toes and nipped playfully at his neck.

"Did I...?" He groaned as I continued to kiss his neck. "Amber.." he moved me back enough from him so that he could kiss me. I surprised him, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately; a kiss that we probably hadn't shared since we first met.

He whined a little when I pulled away from him, he tried to drag me back into the kiss but I held my ground. We stood in each others arms with our foreheads touching for a couple minutes as he regained his composure. "We didn't have a date tonight, did we?" I shook my head. "Then why...?" He ran his fingers down my cheek. "Are you going out?" Again I shook my head. "Then..?" He stopped what he was saying and looked down at Alexis who was tugging on his sweatpants. "Is she wearing nail polish?"

I laughed as Alexis waved her hand at him, "Yes she is and so am I," I showed him my nails. "We were help -"

"That's Janie's car!" Devon came running up the steps. "Is she here?" He asked me as he tried to see into my house.

"What is he doing here?" I asked Reed. "You have to get him out of here now!"

"I picked him up, he's helping me with the house," Reed gave me a confused look.

I pressed my hands against Reed's chest. "You two have to get out of here now! Go!"

"I want to see Janie," Devon told me as he tried to move Reed out of the way.

"No!" I grabbed my door and went to close it but it was too late.

"Amber, do you really think Cary would like this outfit?" I squeezed my eyes shut as Janie walked into the room.

"Janie!" Devon managed to moved Reed aside and was moving towards her. "Wow Baby you look..." he went to reach for her but she backed off. "Janie?"

She was shaking her head, she wasn't saying anything but I knew what she was thinking. "Devon," I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away from her. "You have to go."

"No," Devon easily pulled his arm from my grip and went towards her again. Janie spun around and ran down the hall to my room, slamming the door behind her. "Janie!" Devon made a move to go after her but I grabbed hold of his shirt with both hands and tried to stop him, when that didn't work, I jumped on his back which knocked him off balance and we landed on the floor. "Amber! Get off me!" He glared over his shoulder, "Reed control your woman."

But one glance at Reed told me he wasn't about to do anything, he was too busy laughing. "Sorry man, I think that's just hilarious!"

Once I got Devon to promise not to go after Janie, Reed helped me up. "Where did Alexis go?" I panicked as I headed for the opened door. "Reed!"

"Amber," Reed grabbed my arm, spun me around and pointed down the hall. Alexis was at my room door kneeling up as she smacked her hand against it. Janie must have heard her because the door opened enough for Alexis to crawl inside.

"Who's Cary?" Devon asked me.

"Reed get him out of here!"

"Amber please?" Devon looked so sad as he stared down at me, "Please tell me who Cary is."

I heard footsteps on my step seconds before I heard, "Hello Amber, is Janie here?"

Devon's eyes shot up towards the door, he gave Cary the dirtiest look that I've ever seen. "I see," he said through clenched teeth. He made a move for the door and I could see Reed get ready in case something happened. But nothing did. Well, as Devon made his way pass Cary he told him if he hurt Janie, he'd kill him.

"I'm sorry darling, I didn't know." Reed mumbled as he gave me a quick kiss and told me he'd call me later.

Once I was alone with Cary, he asked me if that was Janie's ex. I sighed and nodded. "Doesn't look like he wanted to let her go," he stated.

I gave him a smile and left to get Janie.

She was playing with Alexis when I walked in the room. "Is he gone?" She asked.

"Yes but not before Cary showed up."

Janie jumped up. "Cary is here?" She ran to a mirror and nervously looked at herself. "I look like crap!"

I told her she didn't and then added, "Even the biggest jerk in the world thought you looked amazing."

"He did, didn't he?" Janie smiled, "Well I have a hot date to get too. Thank you so much for everything!" She gave me a hug and then picked Alexis up and kissed her on the cheek, "And thank you too!"

Janie told me that she would call me later to tell me how her date went.

Reed called me around 10 and spent ten minutes apologizing for bringing Devon to the house. "I didn't know Janie was going to be there," he told me for the thousandth time. "I hope you aren't mad at me."

I assured him I wasn't, it wasn't his fault. We spoke for a few minutes before he told me he had to go check on Devon, "I'm actually surprised he's this upset about Janie being with another guy, he never cared before."

"Maybe it's because she's ignoring him?"

"Maybe, he's not used to that from her either."

I had a thought suddenly, I didn't know where it came from but I felt I needed to say it. "Reed?"

"Yes Amber?"

"I wanted you to know that I have no desire to see anyone else, I know I want to be with you."

He didn't say anything at first, and I thought what I said was stupid. I was about to tell him that when I heard him let out a shaky breath. "Thank you Amber, you have no idea how happy that makes me feel. I don't want to see anyone else either, I love you Amber."

"I love you Reed."

I went to bed last night feeling happier than I ever thought I could.

Renewing Old Friendships

Last night when Reed got off from work, he came directly over to my place. I was a little surprised to see him standing on the doorstep when I opened the door. When I asked him why he was there he told me that he thought he could spend some time with me.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I have plans and Alexis is at my parents' house for the night."

"Oh," he seemed surprised that I would have something to do with out him or Alexis. "You are going to be out all night?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure how long I'll be out." I glanced down at the robe I was wearing. "I have to finish getting ready, my ride will be here in under an hour."

Reed asked if he could come in for a little while, I told him he could as I disappeared down the hall to my room. Slipping off my robe, I slipped into a matching light blue satin bra and panties before heading to the bathroom to finish drying my hair.

When I turned off the hairdryer, I turned to see Reed standing in my room, just outside the door that lead to the adjoining bathroom, he was watching me. He was wanting me. I felt subconscious as I left the bathroom and walked by him on my way to my closet.

Pulling a dark blue knee lenght skirt from a hanger, I slipped into it and went to reach for the shirt I was wearing with it when Reed's arms wrapped around my waist. "Hey," I chuckled. "I'm trying to get dressed here."

"I think you have more than enough on already," he groaned against my neck.

Laughing, I turned to face him. "I think I need a shirt on," I told him. "I don't want anyone to think I'm looking for attention while I'm out."

"There's no way I could convince you to stay home with me instead?"

"Mmm, you could." I kissed him, "You know you could but I don't think my date would be too happy if I blew them off."

Reed froze, "date?"

I nodded, "I have a girl date with Janie."

He laughed, "It's not a date unless you get a good night kiss!" When I told him you never know what can happen he got all serious. "Ok, if that happens, I want to see it!"

I like to say he helped me get ready for my date but he seemed more interested in getting me out of my clothes than letting me get dressed. I finally had to ask him to leave my room, "Go wait in the living room."

Janie came while I was finishing, I heard her talking to Reed as I went down the hallway. "Sorry," she told him with a laugh. "But tonight she's mine! You'll just have to get used to sharing her."

He laughed, "She may be going out with you tonight but she's mine; she told me so already."

"Hey now," I said as I entered the living room. "There's no need to fight over me, there's enough of me to go around."

"So what are you two ladies doing tonight?" Reed asked.

I went to tell him but Janie stopped me, "If you tell him he's only going to 'pop' up and act like he didn't know you were there."

Reed nodded, "I would. But who could blame me?" He turned to me, pulling me into his arms. "You look amazing my love."

"Thank you," I kissed his lips softly. "What are you going to do now that I'm not available?"

He shrugged, "I might go see what Devon is up to. See if he can get free of Annette tonight for a little while."

Behind Reed, I saw Janie rolled her eyes. "Come on Amber, let's go." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door.

Janie and I went to the fanciest restaurant in town, she told me it was part celebration because of the new job and life I was starting. "I'm so happy to have you back," she said as she sipped on the wine she ordered. "I've been pretty miserable since you left, no one else seemed to really understand me like you did."

I told her I missed her too. "But you were going to ask Reed to sublet my old apartment to you. What changed your mind?"

"I was going to hide," she chuckled. "I'm so messed up it's not even funny. I thought if I focused my energy on someone else, I could forget about him." I didn't even need to ask, I knew she meant Devon. "But even Chris with his incredibly sexy smile couldn't get my mind off..." She sighed, "Not that I even had a chance, your name was always on his lips when ever he saw me anyway. I don't want to be the 'other' woman anymore Amber, I want to find a guy who loves me like Reed loves you." She took a mouthful of wine and forced it down, "Too bad he's an only child!"

I smiled, "Yeah sorry about that. Have you met anyone that you'd want to date?"

She told me about a couple different guys that flirted with her when she was involved with 'the jerk' as she loved to call Devon. "But I was blinded by stupidity and never gave them a second glance."

We spent the rest of dinner, checking out the men in the restaurant, especially the guy that was our waiter. He was about 5'11, dark hair, dark eyes and when he spoke he made the most ordinary things sound so hot. And he seemed interested in Janie, he kept calling her 'hun'. Which Janie tried to say was because he was a flirt but he never once looked in my direction and from what I saw, he didn't give any of the other ladies in the restaurant the looks he was giving Janie when she wasn't looking.

At one point, Janie got up to go to the bathroom. Not even five seconds after she left, Cary, the waiter came over to the table. "I have to ask you something," he said as he glanced over his shoulder towards the bathrooms. When I asked him what, he gave me a smile. "Is your friend seeing someone?" He frowned, "Of course she is." He said before I could answer, "She's very pretty, who wouldn't want to be with her."

"Well," I gave him a smile. "I'm not really sure if she is seeing anyone special." I didn't want to tell him Janie was single, "She's headed back this way, if you would like to ask her yourself."

Cary gave a little jump as he turned to see Janie coming towards us. When she got to the table, he nervously held her chair for her. "What's going on?" She asked me.

I glanced up at Cary and the boy looked like he was sweating. Oh my lord! I thought with a smile.

He soon excused himself, saying something about having to bring people to their food. "I mean bring people their food!" He walked away, his face as red as it possibly could get.

As soon as he was outta ear shot, I looked at Janie. "Some body's got an admirer!"

It took Cary up until Janie and I headed to the lobby to retrieve our coats to get the courage to approach Janie. "You forgot this," he said to Janie as he held out the black bill folder.

"No, we pa-" I elbowed Janie in the ribs and motioned for her to take it. She did. "Oh!" She exclaimed when she opened it and found his phone number written on a piece of paper. "Thank you," she smiled up at him. "I wouldn't want to have forgotten this at all!"

I excused myself to use the bathroom, even though I didn't need too. I wanted to give them a moment together. When I came back Janie was almost bouncing, she didn't waste any time getting to the car. "Oh my God! He's so..." she didn't finish that sentence, she just gave an excited squeal.

I made her give me the keys and I started to drive her home but she asked if we could go to my place. "I just don't want tonight to end!"

I laughed, "You just want to talk about Cary more!"

We ended up at my place and Janie stayed the night. It was almost like we were back in junior high again. It was so nice to spend time with her.

Is It Friday Yet????

If I tell you I was disappointed with my 'first date' with Reed, that would be a huge understatement. I was extremely upset with him before the end. I couldn't believe that he could be so thoughtless.


Maybe I'm over reacting? It's possible, I'm not known to calmly examine a situation before I fly off the handle. But I think I was completely justified this time! Plus, I really didn't fly off the handle, totally.

So yesterday, I found myself running out of time before our date. I ended up pulling on a pair of casual pants and a nice t-shirt. I wasn't looking too dressy or casual, I thought I looked just right. I made it to my parents' house with just before Reed pulled up the driveway.

Now before I go any further, I just want to say we didn't talk about what we would do on our 'date', I assumed that he would have something great planned because he mentioned before that he was already planning it. So I didn't ask where we were going or what we were doing. I guess it's not totally his fault that the date sucked.

We were getting ready to go when he did something I wasn't expecting, he picked up Alexis and started to get her ready to go too! "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Getting Alexis dressed, it's cold out there you know."

I glanced at my mother, she shrugged her shoulders and had this fake smile pasted on her face. I knew she was looking forward to babysitting.

"Why don't you leave Alexis here with us?" My father asked Reed. I gave my father a smile, I was thinking Reed would see that it would be better to leave her with my parents. Seriously, who can have a really romantic date with a baby crawling around?

"You want to go with mommy and daddy, don't you Lexi?" Alexis did, of course.

Although I really didn't want her to go, I let it slide. I was telling myself that it's still possible to have a 'date' with Alexis there, his attention will just be divided between us, that's all. It'll be ok!

We left my parents' house and we headed out. He took us to a fast food joint, where he spent most of his time in the play area with Alexis. I tried to get him to come back to the table but every time he went to take her out of the area, she started to cry. So I sat in a crowded fast food joint, watching my 'date' play with our daughter as I nibbled on cold fries.

But I was still hoping that wasn't the end, that he would do something that made everything I wasn't expecting ok.

When he finally managed to pull Alexis away from the play area without her screaming, we all climbed into his car and set off down the road.

And that's when he turned down a road I didn't want to go down. And pulled into a driveway that I wasn't wanting to pull into.

That's right, we went to the house.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the house. I just didn't think we would end up there.

As I sat there looking at the house, I started to talk myself into believing that something great was waiting inside for us. That we were really going to have that 'date' we were on.

Once inside the house, he took Alexis' coat off and let her roam free. He turned to me, smiled and pulled me into his arms. His lips were soft on mine, I smiled and thought finally! I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him as we kissed. It was great...for the whole minute it lasted.

Alexis called out to him, he pulled back to look at her and then took off. "No Lexi don't touch that!"

I turned to see Alexis tugging on material that had a picture of Winnie the Pooh on it. She wanted it.

I joined them, asking Reed what it was and he told me he was looking at different ideas for Alexis' room. "Tell me what you think?" He picked Alexis up and grabbed a book. He headed off towards one of the couches and sat down.

Thinking it would only take a moment to look through the book and then we would get back to each other. I sat down with him and glanced at the different pictures in the book.

It was two hours later and we were still 'discussing' decor. Alexis was rubbing her eyes, she wanted to go to sleep. "I guess I should take you two home," he said reluctantly as he put away the book.

We got back to the guest house, Reed insisted on putting Alexis down, so I went to my room and changed. I guess I was worried for nothing, I thought as I stared at myself in the mirror.

I felt so sad. I was disappointed that I was so nervous and excited about our date but he didn't look at it as anything special. I wanted it to be special. I wanted to feel like more than 'mommy' to him.

When I heard him walking around in the living room, I went out. I was thinking that maybe now that Alexis was sleeping, we could talk and maybe make out some.

"Where are you going?" I asked, he was in the middle of putting on his coat.

"I thought I would go do some work at the house," he gave me a smile. "I'm actually looking forward to moving everything in and living there like you suggested."

"Oh," I turned my head away from him. I didn't want him to see how upset I was.

"What's wrong darling?" He came over to me, he tried to turn my head but I pulled away from him.

I tool a deep breath, "If you wanted to spend time with Alexis, you didn't have to pretend you wanted to 'date' me."

"What are you talking about? Didn't you have fun today?"

"No," I shook my head. "I didn't!"

"Well, you were the only one! Alexis and I had a blast."

"Good for you!" I snapped at him.

"Don't be like this Amber, just tell me what's wrong."

I told him I thought we were going on a date. "We did," he told me.

"No!" I scoffed. "You and Alexis spent time together, bonding. Which is really good Reed but don't get there and tell me that today was even remotely a date. It had nothing to do with me and you as a couple!"

"Yes it did Amber -"

"No! It didn't!" I cried, "Do you even remember what it was like when we dated? You couldn't keep your hands off me! You talked to me like I mattered." I sighed, "I felt like you loved me."

"I do love you," he lifted his hands to my arms. "It's not easy to do all those things with Alexis around -"

"That's why she wasn't supposed to be there!" I pulled away from him. "You told me you had been making plans for our first date Reed. You made it sound like it was really going to be something. Well it was, it was a whole lot of something and nothing I ever want to do again!"

"What do you mean? You said you wanted to be together!"

"I do!" I closed the distance between us, I was so close to him that I could feel his heart beating in his chest. "I want to be with you," I whispered softly, my fingers stroking the back of his neck. "I want to hold you, kiss you, touch you and make love to you. I want to talk, laugh and share with you. I want to see our daughter grow into a beautiful woman along side you." I leaned into him and kissed him on the lips.

"Then what's wrong Amber?"

"I thought it was going to be just us today Reed! I thought I would get to do some of those things I just told you I wanted to do. The only one we even touched on was a kiss, for a couple seconds." I looked down, "And I thought with Alexis sleeping you would want to do some of those things with me but you just want to leave."

Reed started to say something but he stopped, pulled back from me and whipped off his coat before pulling me into his arms. "So what was it you wanted to do again?"

I smiled up at him, "Hold you, kiss you, touch you..."

"...and make love to me?" He asked hopefully but I could hear the humor in his question.

"Yes!"

His eyes went wide, "Well ok..." he looked around. "Where's your room?"

I smiled, "You know I don't do that on a 'first date'."

He called me a tease as he lowered his head to kiss me.

We ended up doing everything I wanted, except the making love part. So I guess it was a great date after all...once I told him what was bugging me.

We have another planned for Friday night, he told me it would be a real date and asked me if my parents would mind watching Alexis.

I'm so excited!

Is it Friday yet???

Starting With A Clean Slate

Sorry I didn't write yesterday, between the unpacking and Alexis, things have been crazy here. This is going to be a short entry...I'm running late. I have a 'first date' with Reed in a half hour and I'm not even sure what I'm wearing yet! Can you believe I'm actually nervous?

So the other day when I finally got back to town, I was met by my parents. I knew it wasn't a good thing to be met by the two of them but I hoped that nothing was wrong.

How did it go again? Copies and pastes so we are all on the same page...not that anyone could forget what happened at the end of the last entry!

When we got to my parents house, my mother was there to greet us, along with my father. "Hey!" I smiled at them. I was really wondering what was going on but I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"I'm sorry Amber," my father stepped towards me. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to move into the house."

My jaw dropped, I couldn't even think of what to say to that besides, "You have got to be freakin kidding me!"

So yeah, there I was standing on my parents front step, waiting to move in and my father tells me I can't. And I flipped.

"Amber please!" My mother glanced towards Alexis who was in my arms, looking up at me with a 'I'm about to cry' look on her face.

"I can't believe you guys! I asked you, not once not even twice, if this was ok and every single time you told me it would be fine. 'I just can't wait to have you home again', isn't that what you said mother?" My eyes jumped from one to the other, "What changed? And why did you have to wait until now to tell me?"

"Lenore," my father turned to my mother. "Why don't you show Janie and Alexis inside while I talk to Amber." It wasn't a question really, it was more of an order. And my mother, the dutiful little wife that she is, carried it out.

Once they were inside, my father turned to me. "Walk with me Amber and try to hear me out before you condemn me to the lions."

With my father leading the way, we walked around the house to the back yard. My father opened the knee high gate that surrounded the house and the pool. "These last few weeks have left me at a loss Amber," he started as he led me down the walkway. "I've always believed that I did the right thing for you, sending you away. I thought that you would be happier, I thought your mother and I would be happier but I was wrong; neither one of us have been happy."

I didn't say anything, how could I? It was all true, I wasn't happy and they didn't look like they were either. "I've been thinking about you moving back here," he stopped me. "I'm really glad that you are back home Amber, and I'm thrilled with the plans that you have made for your future and Alexis'. I was worried that you would feel that to be the perfect mother to your daughter, you had to be with her father." I went to speak but he stopped me. "Don't get me wrong Amber, I like Reed and I believe that you two are great for each other. Mind you, I didn't always think that way and yes, I did try to keep you away from him when I shouldn't have but I promise I won't interfere again."

"Thank you," I said when he stopped long enough for me to speak. "But why can't I stay here father? Where am I going to go?"

My father smiled at me, "Right here Amber." He waved his hand off to his side at the guest house that they had built after they kicked me out. "Now I know I told you that you could live in the main house but I thought that after all this time on your own, you wouldn't want your mother and me breathing down your neck."

"Oh," I know it wasn't much but that was all that came to mind to say. I wasn't expecting this, I really wasn't. Honestly I was expecting my father to make me move into Reed's house with him.

"You don't like it?" He glanced at the house and frowned. "Your mother had some guys come and remove all the stuff we had in there and it's all in storage. She wanted to paint it but she wasn't sure which -"

I didn't something totally unexpected, I threw my arms around my father's shoulders, giving him a big hug and I kissed his cheek. "Oh dad!" I cried, "I...I...It's perfect!"

My father was a little tense at first but soon he relaxed, hugged me and said something that made me bawl like a little baby, "Welcome home Cupcake."

Yes, that was the name my father always called me when I was little...I couldn't believe he remembered.

He brought me into the guest house and showed me around. There were three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a sunken living room and a dining room/kitchen. A small house to my parents but to me it was huge! I couldn't wait to unpack and make the guest house my home.

We were walking up to the main house when my father told me that he hoped that I would be happy in the house. "You can stay there as long as you need to Amber," a little smile played on his lips. "Don't ever feel you have to move out," he turned to me. "I know there are people who think you should be living elsewhere but I want you to know, your mother and I aren't among those people. We want you to be happy and if that means you live here for a month, or two or until Alexis graduates college or what not. Then that's fine with us."

When we went into the house Reed and Devon were in the living room with my mother, Janie and Alexis. Reed was on the floor playing with Alexis, Devon was trying to talk to Janie, but she was ignoring him as she spoke with my mother on little mundane topics.

"Amber," Reed looked up when I walked in. "Look princess, daddy told you mommy would be back soon." Alexis giggled, got to her knees and crawled over to me as fast as she could as Reed chased her on his knees.

Watching him with Alexis like that, seeing him throw away all his inhibitions, tugged at my heart strings. I loved him and I knew it.

I just can't wait to show him just how much.

Well, I guess I don't have to wait, he's going to be here any moment.

Eek! I still have to get dressed!

Seeing me naked on our 'first date' isn't part of the deal!