Waiting For Him

I couldn't help it, after what happened this morning, the look in Devon's eyes as he walked away thinking that Janie was better off without him and he was better off miserable with Annette, I had to see Reed.

When I arrived at his office, his secretary told me that he was in a meeting and he would be a while. I told her that I didn't mind, I needed to see him.

I was sitting in one of the chairs reading a magazine and I felt her staring at me. When I looked up she didn't bother to turn away. "You look familiar," she told me. "How do you know Mr Johnson?"

"Reed is my boyfriend," I told her with a smile. "We have a daughter together."

"Oh my!" She exclaimed as she jumped up. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize who you were Miss Sands," she came around the desk and motioned for me to follow her. "Mr Johnson is in a meeting in the conference room down the hall, I'll let him know you are here but in the mean time, " she opened Reed's office door for me. "You can wait in here for him."

"Oh," I was surprised by the difference in her attitude once she found out who I was. "I was ok sitting out there," I told her.

"Nonsense!" She shook her head and gave a nervous laugh, "Mr Johnson wouldn't mind having you wait in here."

Before I could say anything else, she turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Ok, I thought as I looked around Reed's office. It was much like my father's only a little smaller. I made my way over to his desk and sat down in his chair. I knew it was silly but there was something about sitting there seeing the room the way Reed saw it everyday. I started to swing back and forth in his chair when I spotted the picture frame on his desk. I picked it up and was surprised to see that it was a picture of Alexis and me with Reed from my parents anniversary party. It was just as we walked in the doors, before they introduced us. I smiled as I touched his face on the picture, he looked so happy yet so sad at the same time.

When I went to put the picture back on his desk, I moved his mouse and his computer screen lit up. Like the day that I was in his office as home, I spotted an icon on his desktop that had my name on it. Glancing around the room quickly, I moved the mouse over the folder. Closing my eyes, I double clicked on it and opened the file.

The whole time I'm sitting there with my eyes closed, I'm thinking you shouldn't be doing this! But I couldn't stop myself. When I opened my eyes, I scanned the file and smiled. I was staring at pictures of houses and each picture had parts highlighted and a little caption that told whoever was looking at the pictures what I wanted in a house. I could only assume that this was the file that Janie mentioned when she told me about Reed's specific requirements and where Devon wanted him to stick the plans.

I closed out the file and sat back in Reed's chair. Now what? I asked as I twiddled my thumbs.

I ended up checking to see if Reed had any games on his computer and spent the next half hour playing solitaire until Reed came bursting through his office door. "Darling what wrong? Where's Alexis? What Happened?" He looked so worried as he made his way over to me. "Amber what's going on?"

I didn't answer him right away, I was too busy throwing myself at him and telling him how much I loved him in between kisses.

"I love you too Amber," he managed to say once he got me to slow down. "Now do you want to tell me what happened?"

So I did, I told him about the conversation with Janie and how Devon over heard. I told him what Devon had to say and how I felt when I watched him walk away all defeated. "I don't ever want you to doubt how I feel about you Reed," I buried my face against his neck. "I love you so much, I never want to be without you again."

Reed held me in his arms, whispering his own words of love.

It was probably one of the best moments ever.

When he comes home tonight, I'm going to tell him it's time we talked about Alexis and I moving into the home he created for us.

A Long Time Ago When I Was Bitter

I just realized that yesterday's post was the 100th one since I started this blog way back in March. I can't believe it's been that long, so much as changed since my first post. I don't feel the bitterness that I did back then. I'm no longer angry at everyone who means everything to me and my life finally feels like it's going some place. So I guess you can say I'm well on my way to really really happy...yay!

Last night Reed came over to see Alexis and me, he seemed a little upset when he first got here so I asked him what was wrong. "I hated not being able to see you and our daughter yesterday." (Wednesday - when he couldn't come over because he had a meeting that took forever!)

I told him that it couldn't be helped, "You are here now, so that's all that matters to me." I gave him a hug and held him tight.

He told me that he was happy to be there now, but he hated not being able to see us every day. "I missed you," he whispered against my ear. "I got into bed last night and I just felt alone. I wanted you there beside me."

I knew how he felt because I felt the same way, I couldn't sleep for the longest time because I missed his presence in my bed. And after seeing Janie, I was starting to wonder if living here without him was the smart thing to do. I almost told him I was thinking that it was time for us to live together when he asked me what we did. I told him about running into Janie and her engagement.

"What?" He stared at me in shock. "Why on earth would she say yes? Does she even know him that well?"

I shrugged, "I guess she thinks she does."

"But you don't think so?"

I told him that I had my doubts, "She seemed so happy, I didn't want to ruin that but I think it's bound to fail because it's a rebound relationship."

Reed sighed, "I hope for her sake she knows what she's doing."

Soon he changed the subject and told me that this weekend he wanted to have some people over on Sunday for Canada Day. "I was thinking that we could have a little party like we did for my birthday."

I told him that would be a great idea, I was hoping that we would do something special for that day. We started to talk about the guest list and he told me he already told Devon that he was planning on having a party. "He told me that he wasn't sure if he could get away from Annette," Reed told me with a frown. "So I guess she'll be there spreading the joy." He smiled at me, "Who do you want to invite?"

"Well, I wanted to invite Janie and Cary but if Devon and Annette is going to be there..." I sighed.

He told me that nothing happened at his birthday party so we should go ahead and invite them. "Oh! And maybe if you want, you can invite Nadine and her husband, they seemed like really nice people."

When I gave him a funny look, he asked me what was wrong. "Ummm, you know that Chris is still at their place, Nadine might not want to leave him alone."

He was silent for a while, a long while I was expecting him to say to forget it but he surprised me. "I guess if he wants to come, he can." When my jaw dropped to the floor, Reed smiled down at me as his fingers brushed against my chin. "What does it say about me if I let him bug me when I know you love me and are happy in my arms?"

"Ok," I said slowly as I searched his face for some indication that he hadn't totally lost his mind. "Who are you and where is my Reed?"

Reed just laughed as he pulled me into his arms. "I love you my darling."

****

So I have today off work because of the holiday, I get a day off with pay on every stat. This morning I went to the day care to ask Nadine if she wanted to come over on Sunday and she jumped at the invite.

"Thank you!" She exclaimed when I asked her. "I thought I was going to have to spend another holiday sitting at home watching others having fun on TV!" She told me she would be there, "with or without Hal if he doesn't want to go out."

She was as surprised as I was when I told her that Reed said to extend the invitation to Chris as well. "Maybe he realizes that Chris isn't a threat to him when it comes to you."

I told her I hoped so and then went to get Alexis so that we could go and run the errands for the party...but Alexis didn't want to go with me! She tried to push me away when I went to pick her up! "Come on Alexis we have lots to do today."

Alexis turned back to her friends and pointed at them as if to say she wanted to play.

"Why not just leave her here?" Nadine offered when she saw Alexis didn't want to go. "Go do whatever you have to do, enjoy the day and I'll take care of Alexis for you."

I didn't want too but I ended up leaving Alexis at the day care. "Call me if there's a problem and I'll be right here to get her," I told Nadine as I walked to the door.

It felt nice to be out doing errands without Alexis, it certainly made everything go a lot faster not having to worry about her.

I stopped for lunch at one of the cafes along main street. I was seated about to bite into my sandwich when my cell rang. I thought it was Nadine, but it ended up being Janie.

"I'm going crazy!" She told me with an groan. "Cary's parents are insisting that we get married at their house by their minister and I want to get married here in the church that I grew up going too! What am I going to do?"

"I don't know Janie, do you tell his parents that you wanted to get married here?"

She told me yes, "But they seem to think that I'm being rude and saying that their place isn't good enough for me to get married. They think that I'm embarrassed that Cary doesn't come from money."

I rolled my eyes, "Well we both know that's not true. What does Cary say about it? Where does he want to get married?" She told me that he said that he wanted her to be happy. "What does that mean?" I asked. "Does that mean he wants to get married here or that he just doesn't want to get involved?"

"I don't know!" Janie cried. "Amber what am I going to do? His parents are already spoke to their minister and they said he was excited about marrying Cary and me."

I shook my head, "Janie you have to figure out how to make your dream wedding happen while trying to satisfy Cary's parents. You don't want them to think you don't care about where Cary came from."

"Amber, that doesn't help!"

"Janie, I can't tell you want to do! You said you'd married Cary, you have to figure out how much you are willing to do to make that happen."

She was quite for a while. "What would you do if it was you? Would you give into Reed's parents?"

I laughed, "No! But the situation is different Janie! Reed's parents already don't like me and nothing I can do will change that. But when Reed and I do get married, I can tell you now, it won't be in a church."

"Where would you get married then?" I smiled and told her how I would become Mrs Reed Johnson. When I finished Janie sighed, "That's so romantic Amber! And Reed would go along with it because he loves you so much! You are so lucky!"

I told her that Cary would do the same thing once she decides what she wants to do. "Just don't shoot his parents ideas down," I told her. "Give in on some things if you have too but stick to the things that matter the most to you."

Janie thanked me and said she had to run. I dropped my cell onto the table and grabbed my sandwich, I was so hungry. I sunk my teeth into the meat on my sandwich, closed my eyes and chewed contently, the sandwich was so yummy. When I finished the piece in my mouth, I opened my eyes to reach for my drink.

I almost knocked my glass over as I saw Devon sitting across from me, looking like he just lost his best friend.

"Tell me I didn't overhear you correctly." He leaned across the table, grabbing my free hand in his. "Please tell me that you know another Janie who is dating a guy named Cary."

"Devon, I -"

"Please Amber!" His hand tightened on mine.

"I'm sorry Devon," I put my sandwich back on it's wrapper. "Cary asked Janie to marry him and she said 'yes'."

Devon dropped my hand to the table and leaned back in the chair. He avoided looking at me for the longest time. I wished that there was something I could say to make this better for him but I couldn't think of anything. "I'm sorry Devon," I repeated softly.

He glanced at me for a brief moment before getting to his feet. "I didn't deserve her anyway," he stated.

I felt a crushing sadness as I watched him walk away, I never seen him look so defeated as I did when he made that last statement. I wanted to run after him and tell him that if he went to Janie, told her how he really felt and why he didn't think he was worthy of her, she would change her mind about Cary.

But I didn't. He had hurt her so badly and even though I believed she still loved him, I didn't know if she would believe he loved her.

God, I want to cry so badly right now.

No, I want to go see Reed and make sure he knows how much he means to me.

Planting A Seed Of Self Doubt

Last night Reed had a dinner meeting with a client so Alexis and I were left on our own to do whatever we like.

It's been raining like crazy around here for a couple days we were feeling a little boxed in. Yesterday it was a wonderfully beautiful day so I asked her if she wanted to go out for a walk. You should've seen the look on her face! I swear if she could speak she would've said, 'mommy that's the best idea ever!'

Ok, maybe she wouldn't have said that but I like to think that she would.

We got ready to go out and Alexis was just babbling away to herself, every now and then I would hear her say 'dada' and 'poppoppop'. I wish I knew what she was saying...

Just after we got out onto the street my cell phone rang. It was Janie. FINALLY!

"Where the hell have you been?" I asked. "I've been worried sick about you!!"

"You sound like my mother!" She laughed, "Expect you aren't slurring your words!"

"Well of course I do!" I snapped, ignoring the last part about her mother. "You tell me you are going out to a street play and I don't hear from you for days? No one knew where you were! Don't flipping do that ever again!"

"What are you doing just now?" She asked me, totally blowing my concern away. I told her I was pushing Alexis in her stroller down main street. "Ok don't go anywhere!" She giggled, "I'll be there shortly!"

"You don't even know where on main street!" I said but it was too late she had already hung up the phone.

Ten minutes later, I heard someone yelling so I turned to see what was going on. A block away on the other side of the street I saw Janie half running/skipping with Cary in tow behind her. She was waving with her free hand and calling out my hand.

"Amber!" She called out as she pulled Cary out into traffic almost getting the poor guy hit my a car. "Oh screw you too!" She yelled at the driver who honked the horn and screamed out the window at her.

"Amber!" She exclaimed when she finally got to where I was standing, totally embarrassed as everyone on the street watched us. "Oh Amber!" Janie threw her arms around me and hugged me while jumping up and down. "I can't believe it!"

"Janie," I gave a nervous chuckle as I tried to stop her long enough to find out what the hell she was on. "What's going on?" I asked when she finally let me go.

She shrugged and raised her hand to her face, resting it against her cheek. "I don't know," she told me with the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face.

"Well Janie if you don't...." my voice trailed off. "OHMYGOD!" I grabbed her hand from her face and stared at it. "Is this...?" I glanced back and forth between Janie and Cary.

"Yes!" Janie squealed.

I stared in shock at the ring on her finger...I wanted to ask if they were crazy, they didn't know each other all that long but instead I found myself looking up at them again asking, "How did this happen?"

"Well..." Janie grinned, giving Cary a lovestruck look before turning back to me. "It happened at the play." She looked at him again.

And so did I. "Ok," I planted my hand on my hip. "You are going to have to leave so I can get all the details," I told him jokingly.

Thankfully he laughed and excused himself saying he had some things he had to pick up. Once he was gone I turned expectantly to Janie. "Well?"

"Well..." she smiled. "It happened at the play, which blew but we had fun anyway." She went on to tell me that they walked back to Cary's place after the play. "It was so nice Amber, he had his arm around me the entire time and he kept giving me little kisses when I least expected them. I never felt so special before." She told me that when they got back to his place, they grabbed a couple drinks and headed out to sit on his balcony. "He was sitting on a lounge chair and I was sitting across from him, he told me to come over, so I did. After we had been sitting together for a while, he started to tell me how beautiful and special I am and how lucky he felt to have me in his life. I didn't think much of it, he always says that but then he told me he wanted to ask me something and...well," she held up her hand. "I said yes!"

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to say congratulations but I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they were engaged after knowing each other for a very short time. It's only been...holy crap! It's been a month now, I didn't think it's been that long. But still, it's not really that long.

"Amber?" Janie was frowning as she looked at me. "You aren't happy?"

"No it's not that," I told her. Sighing, I told her that I was concerned because it was so new still. "I just don't want you to rush into anything."

She told me that she wasn't rushing, she loved Cary and they were getting married. "And I want you to be my maid of honor!"

I couldn't say no to her.

Soon Cary came back and they both left.

I don't know. I'm happy for her but I'm not...does that make sense? I don't want anything to ruin the happiness she feels right now but I'm worried that she is rushing it.

Is a month long enough to know if someone is right for you?

And if that's the case, what does that say about me and Reed? We've known each other for two years and we aren't walking down the aisle...

With Reed's best friend and my best friend getting married, I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I have a guy who means the world to me, who rocks my world and makes me feel like I'm his whole world - I know, a lot of worlds in that - yet we haven't managed to come together to the point of marriage.

I guess that's not true, if it was up to Reed we would be married.

So if there's nothing wrong with him...

...is there something wrong with me?

Or am I just freaking because I'm crazy?

All Over The Place

Alexis and I were finally allowed back into day care Monday! I can't even begin to tell you how excited the both of us were to walk through those doors and see the smiling faces of the little kids as they saw us. Alexis' little group of friends came running over and they all talked at once as they told her they were glad she was back!

Despite coughing once in a while, I made it through the day fine, so I was happy.

Just as we were getting the kids ready for their parents to come and get them, Nadine sort of pulled me aside. "I didn't know if you would be here today or not," she started. "Hal is working and our car is in the garage and he offered so I could..." her voice trailed off as she looked over my shoulder.

"Couldn't what?" I asked her as I turned around to see what she was looking at.

Or should I say who?

"Chris?" I took a step back, almost stepping on Nadine.

"Hey," he shifted uncomfortably. "I'll just wait in the lobby Aunt Nadine." He turned and headed for the door but didn't get too far because Penny was there ready and waiting to pounce on him.

"Sorry Amber, like I said I didn't know you would be here and he is staying with us and the car is in the garage."

I told Nadine that she didn't have to apologize, "What happened between Chris and I seems so long ago now," I told her. It did seem like it was forever ago since I last saw him, I didn't even care that he was there.

Although, it would've been better if Reed didn't decide to come by and surprise Alexis and me.

Let's just say that even the kids knew that there was something wrong.

Reed gave Chris a dirty look before he made his way over to Alexis and scooped her up off the floor. "Hey Princess," he kissed her cheek and made his way over to me. "Hello my love," he wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me close, kissing me on the lips.

Nadine excused herself and went to speak to one of the parents that just arrived.

The second she left Reed asked me what Chris was doing there and how long he was there. I told him that he just arrived and that he was giving Nadine a ride. "Please don't make a big deal out of this Reed," I begged. "He isn't here to see me, I haven't talked to him since I moved back here."

"I just don't like him Amber."

"Reed he hasn't even done anything to you!"

"No?" Reed frowned, "You think that I can forget that he thought he could lay his hands on you hard enough to bruise? I want to punch him out for touching you like that!"

"Reed," I tilted my head to the side and smiled up at him. "While I appreciate that you care enough about me to feel that way, I don't wish for you to lay a hand on him in any way. I'm with you and I'm happy where I am, I've made my peace with him and I think you should too."

"I don't want too," he told.

I frowned, "Well I want you too." He asked me why. "By what Nadine told me last week before I got sick, Chris is moving here and he will be staying with them for a while. He is Nadine's nephew and I don't think it would be a good thing to want to punch out someone who is related to a person I work with. I want to be able to hang out with her outside work and I don't want it to be an issue if we happen to run into Chris."

Reed told me I was asking for a lot.

But he didn't tell me if it was something he would think about or if there was no way in hell he would ever be civil to Chris.

Am I being stupid for thinking we should be civil?

Janie thinks so, she thinks that asking Reed to be civil to Chris would compromise my relationship with him. "He's going to think that you still have feelings for him and it's not going to go over well Amber."

"But I don't have feelings for Chris," I told her. "Just like you don't have feelings for Devon anymore."

Ok, that was my way of seeing if she would say she didn't care about Devon or if she would finally say that she did.

But she didn't say anything, she just shook her head and told me that she had to get going. "Cary is taking me to some kind of street play."

I raised a brow and she laughed, "I know, it sounds strange but he tells me it's really fun."

Janie promised to tell me about it later.

That was two days ago, I haven't heard from her since and I'm a little worried. I haven't been able to get her on her cell or at home. I don't know what's going on. I even went to Cary's work to see if he was around and they told me that he called in and said he wouldn't be in for a few days. "He sounded pretty bad," the waitress told me.

I don't know what to think about this but it is freaking me out. I asked Reed what he thought about it and he said that maybe they just went on a spur of the moment trip. "We did that once before, do you remember?"

I smiled, I remembered of course. We went to the mountains at the last minute, not telling anyone. We bought everything we needed when we got there and had a blast. Of course my parents weren't too happy when we got home and neither were the police.

"We should do that again," he told me with a smile. "I think we deserve it."

I told him that sounded like a good idea.

And it did.

A couple days alone with him in the mountains doing nothing but having fun....

...and taking care of our daughter.

This Crazy Need To Butt In

It took all day yesterday to recover from the night before. I still can't believe that Devon is really marrying someone as bitchy as Annette. I know he feels he has to to protect his mom but I can't see how it will end up as a good thing. What happens if his mom finds out? Or if he finds out that she already knew what a dog she married? Don't women have some sort of an idea? I know I can sense when things are really right....most times.

Reed and I were sitting together watching TV yesterday when I asked him if there was a chance that Devon wouldn't go through with the wedding and his response shocked me. "Why do you care Amber?" He seemed really irritated.

"I just don't think that it's right that he is doing this, you know that."

"Well he is and there's nothing that will stop him from going through with it."

"But Reed he can't be happy with this, she's such a bitch to him and -"

"There was a time when you could've cared less about what happened to Devon, what's going on Amber?" Reed got off the couch but he didn't walk away, he stood there before me. "Is there something going I should know about?"

"What?" I shook my head and stood up, my eyes not leaving his for a second. "There's nothing going on Reed. I know I haven't always been friendly towards him but it's not like he's been that friendly to me. But now, since I've come back, he's been nicer and I see why you guys are friends."

Reed didn't say anything, I sighed. "Reed," I lifted my hands to his waist. "Honey what's going on? Why aren't you happy that Devon and I are getting along? You used to ask me to try to be nice to him."

"I know!" He groaned. "It's just that you two seem to have this little thing going that doesn't include me. Devon sees you at work, you both talk about each other a lot and it's like...well...I..." he shrugged, giving me a sad smile.

I frowned, "Are you jealous Reed?" I asked slowly because I wasn't sure if I even thought that's what this was about. There's no way he could be jealous, I told myself, he knows how I feel about him.

He lowered his head, nodding. "I think I am."

"Honey!" I gasped as I moved into wrap my arms around him. "You can't be serious!"

"Amber," Reed looked into my eyes. "I can't even begin to describe how I feel when I see you with him or I hear his name pass through your lips. I know you love me, I know that you don't think of him in that way but I can't help wondering if one day I'm going to be standing on the sidelines watching you walk off hand in hand with him."

"Reed!" I rolled my eyes and cringed at the thought of being anything with Devon. "No! I may have changed my opinion about him, I don't think he's the biggest jackass in the world but I'm no where close to..." my voice trailed off, I couldn't even say what he said. "There's no way I could ever see him like that and besides Janie would kill me!"

That got a smile from Reed. "Does she still deny that she cares about him?"

I nodded, "She told me that she didn't want to ever hear his name again but yet she keeps bringing him up whenever we are talking." I paused, "Devon keeps asking me about her too."

"Yeah, he asks me too."

"What are we going to do Reed?"

"Nothing," he told me. "We can't do anything Amber. They need to do what is best for them."

"No!" I cried. "You can't be serious! How can you say that? How can you let Devon marry Annette when you know that he could be as happy as you are right now, if he was with Janie? Don't you want your best friend to be happy?"

Reed pulled away from me, "Don't you think I haven't tried Amber? I've done everything I could to stop him from agreeing to this! I told him he was making a mistake but he's not listening to me, he told me I don't understand."

I moved closer to him and he took me in his arms again. "I want Devon to know the happiness that I feel whenever I hold you close but Amber I've run out of ideas and he has asked me to let him do this. He seems to think that he doesn't deserve to be happy."

"What? Why?"

"He says it's karma coming back to kick him in the ass. He seems to believe that Annette is his just reward for screwing over all the women he's ever dated."

"That's just screwed up!" I told Reed and he agreed with me.

I don't know I want to do something. I don't feel right just standing by and letting this tragedy happen.

But I promised Reed that I wouldn't butt in.

Am I crazy for wanting my best friend and Reed's best friend to be happy?

Am I crazy for thinking that they would be happy together?

How do I make this happen without butting in?

I have less than a month to figure this out.

The wedding is July 14.

The Longest Dinner Of My Life!

We decided that we would ask my parents to watch Alexis while we were at Devon's for dinner. So at 5:30, I was at my parents door ready to drop her off. My father answered the door and let us in. He took Alexis' overnight bag from Reed and led us into the 'family' room where there was a toy box of stuff for Alexis to play with.

"Where's mom?" I asked him as I placed Alexis on the floor with some of the toys my parents had for her.

"She's at some charity meeting," he told me. "You know how good I am at remembering the names of your mother's projects."

"When will she be home?" I asked him, not sure if I wanted to leave Alexis here without my mother. He told me he wasn't sure when she would be home. "Maybe we should just take her with us," I smiled at him. "I didn't realize that mom wouldn't be home, I didn't want to bother you."

My father assured me that it was ok, he actually seemed a little upset that I didn't think he would want to watch Alexis with my mother not there. "Amber don't worry about Alexis," he told me as he tried to push Reed and me out the door. "We'll be fine," he smiled down at Alexis who was holding on tight to his shirt. "Won't we Peanut?" Then he told her to wave 'bye-bye' to me and Reed.

"Bye Princess," Reed gave Alexis a kiss on the cheek and then put his hand on my back. "Ready to go?"

"I..." I looked up at my father. "You have our number if -"

"Yes Amber," my father chuckled, looking at Alexis he said, "I believe your mommy forgets that there were many times when it was just me and her." He turned to me again, "I promise to take good care of her."

I watched Alexis wrap her tiny arms around his neck as she rested her head against his shoulder and I felt silly for worrying, I knew my father wouldn't let anything happen to her, I was still a little surprised with how great he has been since I moved back home.

"Ok," I smiled and truly meant it. "I'll see you two later. You be good," I gave Alexis a kiss and then looked up at my father. "You be good too!" I chuckled and kissed his cheek too. Something I haven't done in a long time, I think it shocked him, I know it shocked me.

My father didn't say anything as we walked away but Reed told me when we got in the car that he was proud of me. "I thought I was going to have to drag you away kicking and screaming before you left Alexis with your father."

The drive to Devon's didn't take that long but before Reed would let me out of the car he made me promise that I wouldn't say anything to Devon about what I think of him getting married.

"If he asks, do you want me to ignore him?"

"He won't ask Amber."

"Ok, then you don't have anything to worry about," I smiled at him. "But if he does ask, then I'll tell him."

Reed shook his head, telling me once again that he won't ask.

When Janie was dating Devon, before Annette came into the picture, he was living in a new condo on the back part of town. The view from that place was fantastic, no other building for miles so there was nothing to block the view of the outdoors. The place we walked up to was an older house that didn't look to welcoming; it looked like a sad and dreary place. There wasn't that much space on either side of the house before you saw the neighbours houses. Reed told me that the house was actually belonged to Annette's great aunt and she got it when her aunt died. "I guess they were really close, her aunt didn't have any kids and tended to favor Annette."

I didn't really say much, I couldn't believe that Devon would voluntarily live there, it was nothing like the places he lived before, they always seemed to have....life.

I thought that maybe the inside would be more welcoming than the outside but it wasn't. My first thought when I walked into the house was, I'm glad we left Alexis with my father. The house was too stuffy, too 'perfect', too unlivable for me. I know I'm not making sense but it felt so cold, so empty of life and happiness.

But I guess that would make sense, there wasn't any real life or happiness inside the walls.

Devon, who met us at the door, led us back through the house and out into the backyard. I was so glad to find out that we would be spending most our time out there, at least there I didn't feel so out of place.

We had settled around the table and made small talk for a few minutes. "So where's Annette?" I asked politely, I really didn't care where she was.

As Devon told us she was upstairs getting a planner that she forgot to bring down, she walked through the door. "Hello," she smiled as she joined us at the table. I smiled at her but the guys pretty much ignored her as they talked about work.

I tried to find something to say to her but all that popped into my head was the phone call I made to Reed where she told me he was in the shower. I wanted to call her on that but I knew that Reed wouldn't like it if I did or said anything to cause problems, I didn't want to upset him.

So I sat there half listening to the guys talking as I tried to size Annette up with out staring. She wasn't that pretty, in fact I didn't see anything that set her apart from all the other women that I knew, if I didn't know that Devon was only marrying her because his father was a dirt bag, I would be really concerned about him. I guess the fact that I was Janie's best friend and Janie still loved him - even though she denies it - made me a little bitter towards Annette.

But soon I didn't like her because of her.

Devon got up to get beer and he asked us if we wanted something. Once he returned to the table, Annette started in on him. "Don't you think that you've had enough?"

He gave her a funny look, "This is the first one today," he twisted the lid off and took a swig.

"Aren't you going to use a glass? You aren't at some dirty bar you know."

"No," he said slowly. "I'm at home, I thought I could relax here."

"There's a difference in relaxing and acting like a pig Devon," Annette pushed her chair back and disappeared into the house for a moment before reappearing with a glass. "Here," she shoved the glass at him.

I tried not to look at Reed at that moment because if I did, I think I would've laughed. I couldn't believe that she was freaking out over this.

With more calm that he appeared to have at that moment, Devon poured his beer into the glass. Once the bottle was empty, he turned to Annette. "Happy?" He asked, lifting the glass to his lips, taking a drink.

"Yes," she smiled at him.

Devon turned back to Reed and continued the conversation that they were having before he got up to get something to drink. But not even two minutes into the conversation, Annette made another snide comment about him. "Since Devon insists on being rude," she was looking at me. "I'll have to introduce myself." She held her hand out to me and told me her name. "I've heard so much about you from Reed."

I smiled at her, I went to say something 'nice' but she continued. "You are very lucky Amber, a man like Reed is hard to find."

Turning to Reed, I grinned. "Yes I am lucky but you are too," I turned back to her. "Devon is a good guy," I don't know who was more surprised I said that, Devon or Reed.

"Yes," Annette said with a underlying hostility which I wasn't sure was directed at me or him.

Soon Devon mentioned getting the BBQ ready to cook supper. "We aren't having BBQ Devon!" Annette snapped at him. "We are going out to the club for dinner."

"No," Devon shook his head. "I told Reed we were eating here, that we were having a BBQ, that's what they were expecting." He got up to head to the grill.

"Devon! I'm not serving our guests BBQ! That's just down right insulting!" Annette jumped up and grabbed hold of his arm, spilling his beer on her dress. "Look what you did!" She shrieked, "Why do you have to ruin everything?" She took off into the house, cursing Devon with every step. Devon glanced at us before mumbling something about going to make sure she was ok.

Once they were both out of ear shot I turned to Reed and with a straight face I said, "They seem like a happy couple."

Reed laughed, "If that's happy, then what does that make us?"

"I don't know," I told him as I got up and moved over to sit on his lap. "Down right ecstatic?"

We cuddled for a few minutes before he asked me to excuse him, he needed to use the bathroom.

I felt a little weird sitting out there by myself so I got up and walked towards the edge of their deck, to check out the view from the back yard, there wasn't much of one. Sure there were a few trees and some grass but just beyond that row of trees was another house. I sighed, I wouldn't want to live here, thankfully Reed choose a great location for us.

Devon soon returned from seeing to Annette, he stomped over to the cooler and grabbed another beer, twisting the top off he took a long drink from the bottle. "I'll drink like a fucking pig if I damn well want too you pretentious bitch!" He drew off and winged the bottle cap at the house, it bounced off and disappeared into the bushes around the deck.

I stood frozen in place, I didn't know if he knew I was there or not and I didn't want his anger to be taken out of me. I wondered if I could make it back to the table before he saw me. But before I could move, he turned, took a step and froze as he saw me standing there. It took a moment before he asked me what I was doing there, "I thought you were still at the table," he closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I'm sorry about everything."

"I don't see what you have to be sorry about," I told him.

He laughed, "I'm sorry I'm insulting you and Reed by suggesting we have a BBQ."

"Reed loves BBQs," I told him. "He was really looking forward to it, he'll be disappointed if he has to go to the club."

"Don't worry," Devon came over to stand beside me. "We aren't going to the club," he paused, "She can if she wants but we aren't."

I nodded, I wasn't about to ask him how that would go over.

Devon and I stared out over their backyard. "Where is Alexis tonight?" He asked me.

"At my parents' house," I told him, "Reed didn't think it would be a good idea to bring her over here."

Devon nodded, "Yeah that probably was best but..." he trialed off.

"But what?" I turned towards him.

He shrugged, "I was sort of looking forward to seeing her." He went on to tell me that he even made sure he had some food that she could eat. "Crazy, huh?"

I laughed, "More like unexpected. But then again, there are many things about you that have surprised me lately."

He took a mouthful of his drink before looking at me, there was something in his eyes that I didn't recognize. "That makes you think I'm a good guy?" He raised his brow, "I wouldn't go that far Amber, I've done some things that I'm not proud off."

"Yeah, I'm sure you have, most people have."

"No, Reed hasn't, he the good guy."

"Yeah, I'm pretty bias when it comes to him," I grinned. Devon studied my face for a while, almost to the point where I was starting to get uncomfortable. "What are you thinking?" I asked him.

"It's nothing," he said with a shrug, "I should get started on supper."

But he didn't move, he stayed where he was.

I turned to look back out over the yard but I could still feel his eyes on me.

"Amber?" Devon moved in closer to me, turning back on to the yard, he leaned back against the railing of the deck; his hip rested right next to my hand.

I turned my head to look at him. "What Devon?"

We heard someone come out onto the deck, it was Reed. "Never mind," Devon said as Reed walked over to us. "Hey man, I'm about to get the grill going, are you hungry?"

"Starving!" Reed exclaimed as he pulled me back into his arms. "And I could use some food too," he added with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes and glance back at him, "I thought I took care of that one?"

"It keeps coming back," he told me.

"Yeah, I'm going now," Devon shook his head as he walked away from us.

By the time Devon had the grill ready, Annette had come back and wanted to talk to Reed about the wedding. I was only half paying attention to what they were saying, I still couldn't believe that she could sit there so calmly after what went on between Devon and her.

While Annette was talking about who was walking in with who, Devon come over to sit down. He was leaning in close to her, trying to see something in one of the books she had spread in front of her; he couldn't read it, so he moved in closer to her, almost looking over her shoulder.

"Devon!" She snapped, spinning around to glare at him. "I'm trying to talk here, don't you have something to do?"

"I was just trying to see the seating chart."

"Well," she slapped the book down in front of him. "How many is that?" She asked when she saw the bottle in his hand. He told her it was his second. "Yeah right," she rolled her eyes. "I can smell it a mile away. Would you get something else to drink already? It's making me want to thrown up."

Devon didn't answer her, he was going over the seating chart. "Who are you looking for?"

"I'm just looking," he told her.

Annette pulled the book away from him. "None of your whores are there, if that's what you are looking for!"

My head snapped up when she said that. I looked at Reed, he was staring at her with his mouth opened in shock. My eyes turned to Devon who looked so close to going off on her.

But he didn't, he pushed his chair away from the table and got up so calmly, I thought I was seeing things. "I'm not seeing anyone but you," he told her through clenched teeth before returning to the grill.

Annette didn't say anything, she just started talking about the weeding to Reed again like nothing happened. I had to get out of there, it was just too screwed up for me. I excused myself, telling Reed I wanted to check in on my father and Alexis.

I made my way over to the spot on the deck where I was earlier as I dialed my parents' number of Reed's cell. After a brief conversation with my father, I said good night and hung up. I went to head back to the table when I changed my mind, I went to see how Devon was doing.

"Hey," I said when he acknowledged my presence. He asked me what I was doing and showing him the phone, I told him I was checking in on Alexis. "She's having a blast with my father."

Devon nodded but he didn't say anything.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked him.

"Yes," he told me. "Tell me how Janie is doing."

"I meant with dinner," I told him.

"Amber please?"

I sighed, "You saw her last Saturday Devon, how did it look like she was doing?"

He poked the meat on the grill a couple times. "Better than me." He turned to me. "I miss her more than I thought I would," he confessed. "I thought it would be easy to forget her but she's always on my mind."

"I don't know what to tell you Devon."

"Tell me she misses me, tell me she isn't happy with that guy."

"Why? What good would it do Devon?" He started to say something but I didn't let him. "It's better for Janie if she gets over you now, it won't do her any good to spend anymore time with a guy who can't promise her anything. You can't give her anything she wants Devon."

Devon slapped down the fork he had in his hand, "I can't help it I can't have kids," he hissed.

I laughed, "You think that's all she wants?" I shook my head, "You don't know her that well if you think she would care that you can't give her a baby!" It was true, he didn't know her at all if he thought that mattered to Janie, she didn't care if she had babies of her own, she knew there were other kids out there that needed parents.

She knew that all too well.

Janie was adopted.

"She wants children Amber, I can't give them to her." Devon picked up the bottle beside him and drank the remainder of it in one swallow. "Go back to the table Amber." He grabbed another beer from the cooler.

I turned to do just that when I stopped, I had something to say to him. "You are the only one in control of your future Devon, make sure the decisions you make are the ones you really want." I stopped him from taking a swig of the beer. "You already saw what this did to your best friend, do you really want that to happen to you?"

"It's different for me than it was for him, he wasn't forced to marry someone he didn't love to protect his mother."

I shook my head sadly, "You aren't protecting your mother Devon, you are helping hurt her. She wouldn't want you to be unhappy for her."

Releasing his hand, I turned to walk away.

"What am I going to do Amber?"

Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled at him. "You know what you should do Devon."

Reed gave me a questioning look when I returned to his side, I told him Alexis was having fun with my father.

Dinner passed by with a few more snaps between Devon and Annette. By the time Reed and I left, I was so tired.

We went straight to bed when we got home.

I Thought You Should Know

I woke up yesterday to find Reed's hands and lips on my inner thigh. At first I was a little shocked but how turned on I was soon drowned out any thoughts of stopping him.


God! Reed has to the the most talented guy when it comes to making me...well, cum! He had be begging for mercy after the first time I came under his lips, the second time....mmmm! We ended up making love, amazingly slow, hot and sweaty love. I thought I would float away once he moved away from me so he wouldn't crush me.


"I won't let you," he whispered against my shoulder as he laid on his side, gazing at me as I basked in the afterglow of our lovemaking.


I was almost half asleep when my phone rang, I groaned and tired to move for it but I couldn't. Reed stretched back and pulled the phone from the cradle. He said hello and listened for a moment before he handed me the phone. "It's Charlie," he whispered as he settled back down next to me, his hand softly stroking my skin.


My conversation with Charlie was very short, she wanted to know how I was going, I told her I felt better, which was true; I just made love to Reed, I was feeling like I could take on the world. But Charlie told me that she didn't want me to go in, "I want to make sure that you are better," she told me. "I'll see you on Monday Amber."


When I hung up the phone, I must've looked upset because Reed asked me what was wrong, I told him. He told me it was probably for the best. "Now you get to stay in bed with me," he winked at me. I laughed and mentioned that he had to still get up and go to work.

"Nope," Reed shook his head. "I cleared my schedule for today so that I could be here in case you needed me," he snuggled up to me. "You need me don't you darling?"

I told him that I needed him and I was happy that he wanted to stay home with Alexis and I when we weren't feeling great. "Not too many men would do that, you know?" I told him with a kiss. "Thank you."

We spent the entire day inside yesterday. We stayed in bed until Alexis woke up. Once she was awake we moved out to the living room, he made me curl up on the couch while he entertained Alexis and me. We watched a couple movies together and he made all our meals for us. I couldn't believe how determined he was to show he could help out.

Last night we made love again and he held me in his arms as I fell asleep.

This morning I was woke up by a thunderstorm. And then Alexis started to cry because she was scared of the loud bangs. I padded down the hall, picked Alexis up in my arms and carried her back to my room to calm her down.

Reed was awake when I crawled back into bed, he didn't question what was going on, he just smiled as Alexis and I curled up with him. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world," he told me over Alexis' head. "I can't think of anything that would make this moment better."

I smiled at him, I could think of something that would. It was something I was going to tell him a week ago on his birthday but between our fight, the set up and Chris showing up, I didn't get a chance to tell him.

Reed raised a brow in my direction, "What is that smile for Berrylynn?"

"I have something to tell you," I told him as I stroked our daughter's head. "It's something that I should've told you a while ago but," I sighed. "I was so mad at you in the beginning, I didn't want you to know because I knew it would bug you if you thought otherwise."

"And you wanted to bug me then," he chuckled when I nodded. "So what is it about?"

I glanced at Alexis, she was chewing on her fingers, looking back and forth between us. "It's about Lexi?" I nodded, his smile faded a little. "Maybe I don't want to know after all Amber." He turned his attention to our daughter, "Daddy doesn't need to know, does he princess?"

Alexis giggled, reaching out her wet fingers to him, "Dada."

"Reed," I pushed back the covers and walked over to the closet where I put the box of stuff from his party, where I put the present I didn't give him. Grabbing the brightly wrapped package, I made my way back over to the bed. Instead of crawling back in, I went over to sit on his side, next to him.

He pushed himself in to a sitting position, looking back and forth between the item in my hands and me, he asked me to tell him. "I don't know if I want to know what's in there," he didn't take the package I held out to him. "It may look like a good thing but the wrapping could be deceiving."

Alexis, having spotted the present was soon kneeling by her daddy's side, looking up at him as her little hand gripped a corner; she wanted to help him open it.

"Open it Reed," I encouraged softly as I helped Alexis get up on his lap. "Trust me that it's a good thing."

I've never seen a grown man so scared of a present in my whole life, I wanted to tell him to hurry up but I remained patience as he slowly released the tape holding the paper around the item inside.

I could tell he really didn't want to look at it once he opened it, he held it back on for the longest time before he finally took a deep breath and flipped it so he could see what it was.

I chuckled softly when he didn't react right away because his eyes were closed. "Reed!" I poked him in the ribs, "Just look at it."

His eyes opened slowly, he looked at me and then at Alexis before his gaze slid over the frame in his hand. His jaw dropped, "Amber?" He shot me a questioning look. "This says..." he pointed but nothing came out of his mouth.

"Read it for me honey," I smiled at him. "Tell me what it says."

He cleared his throat a couple times but it didn't help his voice from breaking as he said, "This can't be right," he said. "This says..." he shook his head and started up at me. "It says 'Alexis May Johnson'." He turned the copy of Alexis' birth certificate around to show me. "Amber, it says..."

I knelt on the bed, leaning in to kiss his lips, "Johnson," I finished for him. "It's right Reed, she does have your last name."

"But you said...," he flipped the framed certificate around and ran his fingers over the words. "She has my name," he grinned from ear to ear.

"Yes," I settled myself on to the mattress next to him. "Alexis has your name."

Reed looked at me, "It shouldn't matter," he told me. "But for some reason, it does."

I asked him if he was upset that I kept it from him. "No," he shook his head. "But I am glad that you told me."

Once he got over the shock that I didn't hate him as much as he thought I did while we were apart, he wanted to call everyone he knew and tell them about it.

I left him alone when he called his parents, I didn't want to hear all the things they would say against me for holding out that information. I wandered to the kitchen and started on breakfast.

I knew the moment he was done on the phone, he came running out of the room, calling for me with Alexis crawling full speed behind him. When he reached my side, he pulled me into his arms and planted a huge kiss on my lips. "I love you Amber, with all my heart and soul. You make me happier than I ever thought was possible."

So this morning was great...

...I'm only hoping that this evening goes well.

We were invited to Devon's for supper. Actually we were kind of summoned, Annette wanted to discuss the wedding details - it was less than a month till the day - and Reed's part in the whole thing. "I'm the best man," he told me. "What else do I have to do besides stand there and make sure Devon doesn't do anything stupid?"

"You mean besides actually marrying a woman he doesn't love?"

Reed rolled his eyes, "I don't agree with it either but what am I supposed to do? He told me he was going through with this, said there was no reason he shouldn't."

"Besides the fact that he doesn't love her and he's only doing it to protect his mom from finding out that her husband is a cheating bastard?"

"Amber it's not our place to -"

"Stop your best friend from making the biggest mistake of his life?" I shook my head. "Reed that is your place! I don't see how you can be ok with this! Would you do it if you were in his shoes and it stopped us from being together?"

Reed shook his head, "My mother would know instantly if my father cheated and she would take him to the cleaners. But Amber it's his life, he made his decision, I have to respect that." He looked down at me, "I need you to respect that as well."

I told him I would think about it.

But I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to do that.

Joining Together

When I posted the last entry I went directly to my room where Reed was sleeping. I stood in the doorway watching him as he slept for the longest time, there was something about the way the moonlight fell on his naked back that made me smile.

I went to my bed, to him. I stood at the foot of the bed and slowly tugged the blankets down over his body. When he shifted slightly, I paused briefly but soon I was dragging my sheets down over his bum and thighs until he laid completely exposed before my hungry eyes. He was still snoring softly as I crawled onto my bed and moved to straddle his hips.

It was a little strange for me to be like this when he was laying on his stomach but I didn't care, I had to touch him, to kiss his skin. I wanted to wake him up with the biggest hard on he's ever had. My hands slid down his arms until my fingers entwined in his, I lowered my head to his shoulder kissing his skin as my body rocked against his.

"Amber?" He sounded like he was still half asleep, like he thought he was dreaming.

"Good morning honey," I whispered against his ear as my tongue snuck out to trace his lobe.

"Amber," this time my name was but a sigh on his lips, he tried to turn over but I was in the way. "Darling please," he groaned as he tried again.

This time I moved back so that he could turn over on his back but that's no quite what he did, he rolled over and tackled me to the bed, moving over me. "Hey!" I giggled as he nipped at my neck, "I was in the middle of doing something you know!"

"I know," he chuckled softly. "You were driving me crazy but," he pulled back enough to look down into my eyes, "I think it's my turn to drive you crazy."

He started to kiss his way down my neck to my chest but I stopped him, I told him I didn't have time for him to do that. "What do you mean?" He asked me with a frown in his sexy lips.

Without a word I took his hand in mine and guided it down between our bodies, down to where I wanted him the most, where I was wet and aching to feel him again. I pressed his hand against my skin, urging his fingers deeper into my body. "Oh Reed," I bucked against his hand as his fingers explored further. "I need you so badly honey, please don't make me wait any longer."

I thought I would die as he positioned himself at my entrance and hesitated briefly while he asked me if I was sure this was how I wanted it to be. I told him I was sure, in fact I gripped his butt and lifted my hips of the bed, trying to show him how much I wanted to have him inside me once again.

I felt tears building up in my eyes as he slowly slid into me, I held him against me, just enjoying the feeling of him being where I longed to have him for so long. I whispered words of love and happiness in his ear before begging him to make love to me.

I wish I could tell you the happiness I felt and how complete he made me feel as his hips moved against mine but I don't remember much except the unbelievable pleasure that washed over me as my whole body came undone under his control. I cried out his name, over and over again. I told him I loved him. He answered my cries with ones of his own, adding his words of love and devotion to mine.

When the moment had gone and our bodies laid together unable to move anymore, he held me in his arms. "I love you my darling BerryLynn," were the last words I heard before I drifted off into a deep sleep.

Will We Ever?

I hate to disappoint everyone but the 21st didn't happen like I thought it would. Mainly it was my fault, you know with the being sick and all.

I called into work yesterday, I wasn't sure if they would want me to come in with how bad I felt. The second I said hello to Charlie when she answered the phone she told me I sounded like crap. "I don't think you should come into work this morning Amber, I can't have all the kids getting sick." She did tell me that if Alexis wasn't sick, she was able to come in if I wanted. "That will give you some time to take care of yourself without worrying about her."

I told her that I would love to but I didn't have anyone to drop her off. Charlie told me to take care of myself and that she would call later to see how I was doing.

Once I hung up with Charlie, I tried to call Reed to tell him that I was home sick from work. "It's just a cold," I told his voicemail. "But Charlie doesn't want me to make the kids sick, so she told me to stay home. Alexis is stuck at home with me too, so she may be grumpy later when you come over." I started to cough at that point and when I stopped, I sighed. "Yeah that was sexy, wasn't it?" I shook my head, I couldn't believe I said that. "Well I'll see you later, if you aren't afraid to come near me. I love you."

When I hung up from leaving the message, I realized that Alexis wasn't awake yet, which was strange. I went into her room and was surprised to see her laying on her back wide awake but not really saying or doing anything. "Oh," I sighed as I picked her up and she snuggled into me. "Are you feeling a little sick too?" I kissed her forehead but she didn't feel really warm, so I took that to be a good sign.

We went out into the kitchen and I made some breakfast for us, neither one if us really ate that much. And Alexis didn't want to be out of my arms for very long. We spent most of the day laying on the couch, watching the cartoon channel.

When it was time for her nap, we went and crawled into my bed. And that's where we were when Reed came to the house. "Hey," he smiled down at me when I opened my eyes. "How are you feeling?"

Groaning, I stretched and happened to glance at the time, it was 3pm. "What are you doing home?" I asked as I jumped up in bed. "Where's Alexis?"

"I just finished putting Alexis out in her crib," he frowned. "Is that ok?"

I nodded, "Just that she wasn't feeling that great either, she was clinging to me all day." I looked at him, "How come you are home so early?"

He smiled at me, "I told her father that I needed to go home, that you were sick and I wanted to be here for you."

"Oh Reed," I sighed and fell back against my mattress. "You didn't have to do that, Alexis and I would've been ok until you were done work." He told me he knew that but he wanted to be here anyway.

I just smiled as I closed my eyes, I didn't really feel like doing anything besides laying there. I think he realized this because the next thing I know, I'm being pulled into his arms as he joined me in bed.

We stayed like that for a while, I was in his arms with my face against his chest, breathing in his scent. My hand was on his back, my fingers tracing invisible lines there. I was happy, I was content but most of all I started to feel a little horny.

Being horny when you are sick is probably the strangest feeling ever. I mean, you want to do something about it but yet you don't really have the energy to do anything. I was in his arms, feeling horny and I started to think about what we were supposed to do today. Tilting my head, I stared up into his handsome face, which didn't help the growing need I felt for him.

His eyes were closed but my eyes were focusing more on his lips, which were turned up in a tiny smile. Lifting my hand to his face, I slowly traced his lips with my fingers. I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to make him sick. Sighing, I removed my hand from his face and snuggled into him, pressing my body against his as much as I could. I was sort of shocked to feel that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

I couldn't help it, now that I knew he wanted me, I had to feel him more. I slipped my leg over his hip, pulling him in closer.

"Amber," Reed groaned as he pulled back to look down at me. "Are you -"

"You can wearing way too much," I told him quickly, not even realizing that I cut him off.

He glanced down at my nightshirt before he moved away from me and stood before me. I watched him with great interest as he started to undo the buttons on his shirt. "This isn't as exciting as watching you undress," he told me with a laugh.

"Want to bet?" I licked my lips as his shirt slipped from his shoulders. My eyes traveling over his chest, down to where his skin disappeared under his pants before I looked him in the eye again. "Show me more?"

I continued to watch him as he removed every article of clothing until he stood naked in front of me. "Well that's it," he told me, "Can I join you now? Or are you still..." he looked down, his cheeks turning a little red.

"Mmm," I reached out my hand to him. "I'll never tire of seeing you naked but I need you next to me."

Reed didn't waste any time crawling back under the blankets with me. He pulled me into his arms again, holding me tight to him.

I'm not really sure how it happened, not that I'm really complaining, but soon I was naked with him. We were kissing and stroking each other in all the right places but I started to feel really light headed. I had to stop him, as much as it killed me, I couldn't continue.

I thought he would be mad but he seemed to understand as he lowered himself onto the mattress beside me. He told me that he loved me and that he knew we would make love as soon as we could.

I fell asleep in his arms, wishing that I was able to finish what I started.

Now I'm awake and he's sleeping but I think that's going to change, I'm feel a lot better and I still want him so badly.

I'm going to go see if I can't get lucky right now!

Wish me luck!

Just The Facts

I was going to talk about the party today but now that it's been almost a week and nothing bad happened despite who ended up at the party, I don't think it's such a big deal.

I know you are all wondering who showed up and I'll give you one guess...he used to be my next door neighbour and a potential love interest.

If you guessed anyone but Chris, I would have to wondered what blog you've been reading for the past couple months.

Why did Chris show up? Apparently Reed invited Nadine and her husband to his party, after I left the bar, I guess he was trying to make things better by doing this. Anyway, it just so happens that Chris is Hal's nephew. Yeah, I was a little shocked when I saw him get out of Hal's car too!

Reed was furious when he saw him, he actually went after him, he thought that Chris was here to cause problems between us. He thought that I was still in contact with Chris!

Nadine has been apologizing to both Reed and I since Saturday, she said if she knew that I knew Chris she wouldn't have asked if it was ok to bring him along.

Why was Chris in town? I from what I gather from Nadine, he was actually looking at moving here. "But I'm not sure how he feels now," she told me. "He seemed a little upset to run into you on Saturday, when Hal took him back to the house, he went to the spare room and started to pack, saying he couldn't stay here now."

How did I feel to see Chris again? Part of me was actually happy to see him, I thought that we ended things on pretty good terms but I was also afraid of what his presence would do to my relationship with Reed. Does that make any sense?

I'm a little under the weather right now...I can't think for the life of me. I know I promised more but this is all I can manage right now.

Boy Oh Boy!

My eyes were on Reed the entire time, I wished that I could have seen more of him, it would've made me feel naughtier and who knows what else I would've done while he was watching me. But unfortunately, the shower glass was only clear for about a foot, just enough for him to look out at me but his naked body was blurred behind the glass. I couldn't see his reaction to me, I could only guess that he was turned on by the look on his face and the way he pressed his body against the glass as I removed the last of my clothing to stand naked in front of him.

The air around me felt cool, I'm not sure if that was the reason my nipples harden, or if it was the look in Reed's eyes as I bit my bottom lip and brushed my fingers over them.

I don't know, all I knew was that I needed to be in his arms at that moment. When I started to walk over to the shower Reed jumped to action and held the door open for me, not caring if water got out onto the floor. "Are you coming in?" He asked and then added. "Please be coming in."

"I think I might," I told him as I stepped into the shower, closing the distance between us.

He tried to wrap his arms around me but I stopped him and headed to the corner where all of his shower stuff sat on the shelf. Lifting his body wash into my hand, I squeezed a generous helping of it on to the cloth and worked it into a lather. I glanced at him, he was watching me with a curious expression on his face. Shaking my wet hair back from my face, I lifted my hand upwards and motioned for him to come closer, which he did so eagerly.

"I thought you needed some help washing your back," I told him as I moved around him and started to work the cloth over the muscles in his shoulders. I kind of slipped into my own little world as I glided the cloth down his back, I closed my eyes and felt my way around his body as if it was my first time touching him. I can't even begin to tell you how hot and bothered it made me to touch him like this.

And I know he was feeling the same because he tried to stop my 'cleaning' a few times to turn around and face me but I stopped him. "Please let me do this for you," I asked with a little but more beg to the question than I needed too but I wanted him to know how badly I wanted to do this. I had been thinking about a moment like this for a long time.

Once I finished with his back, butt and legs, I turned to rinse the cloth and add more body wash. Yes I wanted him to be really soapy! While I was facing the shelf, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, his breath was hot on my neck as he kissed and licked his way down to my shoulder and back again. His hands slid over my stomach and came up to cup my aching breasts, I felt a little weak in the knees when he squeezed my harden nipples between his fingers, "Oh Amber," he groaned, rubbing his hard on against my bum. "Darling you are killing me," he chuckled. "I'm loving it but you are really killing me!"

"Then you really aren't going to like this," I reluctantly pulled away from him and motioned for him to turn around again; he damn near cried out his protest. "Come on Reed," I moved towards him, lifting myself up on my toes to kiss his cheek. "You'll love it, I promise," I whispered, nipping softly at his jaw.

Although I could tell he really didn't want too Reed turned around for me. "Thank you honey," I moved in to him, pressing my body against his back so I could reach around with the cloth and soap up his chest, arms and stomach. I felt him take a deep breath in as I washed his stomach.

"Well that's it," I told him as I 'accidentally' dropped the cloth.

"What?" He tried to turn around. "That can't be it!"

"What else is there?" I kissed his back as I asked that question, my hands rested flat against his stomach.

"Well..." his voice trailed off. "I'll get the cloth and show you," he went to move but I stopped him.

"I don't think there is anything else," I told him as I ran my hands over his chest and stomach, getting them soapy. "No, I got everything."

"Go lower," he whispered hoarsely.

"Lower?" I smiled as I pretended I didn't know what he meant. I slipped my hands down to his legs, "Well I did get those when I washed your back."

"No," he groaned, his hands covered mine as he guided them where he wanted them the most. With his hand still on mine, I wrapped my fingers around him and let him slide my hand over his erection. It felt weird to stroke him like that but yet it was strangely exciting. Reed was loving it...if his moans and groans were anything to go by.

And me, I was squirming, I was so horny I would've done anything that he asked. And somethings that he didn't ask for.

I knew he was close, he was stroking faster and his hips were moving against our hands. He wanted to cum and he told me he needed too.

That's when I told him he needed to stop.

"Darling you have got to be kidding," he groaned. I told him I wasn't and he let my hand go.

But I wasn't done with him, I walked around in front of him. I waited until he was able to open his eyes enough to gaze down at me before I ran my fingers up his hardened lenght. "You are so sexy," I whispered, my fingers still stroking his hot flesh. "At night when I lie awake I think of you," I flipped my hair back from my shoulders and I smiled up at him. "It starts out so innocently, I remember some moment with you and Alexis, or something sweet that you've done for me but it always ends up the same way." Licking my lips, I looked down at his throbbing member in my hands before looking back into his eyes, "I keep going back to our first time together, the first time I felt you slip inside." I bit my lip, closed my eyes and let out a moan similar to one that escaped my lips when we first joined together. "I want you so bad Reed," I bowed my head, resting my forehead against his chest. "I wish I never made that stupid promise to myself."

"Me too," he grunted as he pulled me into his arms, kissing me with as much passion as he could possible feel for me.

I'm not sure if it was intentional on my part but I started to rock my body against him, he soon joined in. We kissed so passionately, tasting each other as our bodies simulated the love making act.

It seemed to take forever but it was only a moment before I felt him tense up, his kiss deepened although it didn't seem like that was really possible and he held me tighter. I felt this sudden warmth on my belly and I knew that I finally drove him over the edge.


*****

I promise to tell you about the party in the next entry!