Thursday, July 5, 2007

Change The World

Reed jumped up the second he heard his father's voice. "You have to leave," he told him as he moved towards him. "I don't believe you were invited here."

I closed my eyes and groaned when Reed said that, I knew that he was still mad at his father for the day before but I never thought he would say something like that.

"This is none of your business," Roger told Reed as he tried to move past him.

Reed laughed, "I think it is my business and you aren't going anywhere near my mother." He tried to stop his father from moving forward.

"Lucinda get your stuff now!"

Devon jumped up and joined Reed in blocking his father. "You really don't want to do this Roger," he told him.

"What is this?" Roger stared at the two of them. "Get out of my way. Lucinda!"

I glanced over to where Lucinda was but she wasn't there anymore, she was making her way to the house. Crap! I thought.

"Hurry up!" Roger called after her.

And then something I never thought I would ever see in my life happened.

Lucinda turned and threw the drink she had in her hand at him, it hit him on the shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere with you!" She snapped, "I'm staying here where I'm wanted and you can go to hell!"

Without waiting for a response from Roger, Lucinda spun around and ran the rest of the way to the house. I looked at Reed and he motioned towards the house, he wanted me to go after her.

As I made my way pass them, Roger grabbed my arm. "This is all your fault!"

"Get your hands..." Reed grabbed his father's hand and yanked it from my arm. "Don't you ever touch Amber again do you hear me? Don't touch her and don't speak to her!"

"This is crazy," I heard Roger saying. "How dare you talk to me like this? I'm your father!"

"You are nothing to me!" Reed yelled at him. "You don't even care that you hurt everyone I love." Reed shook his head, "You disgust me!"

"I didn't do anything to your mother!"

I didn't get to hear what Reed said to him, the door closed behind me blocking out his voice. "Lucinda?" I called as I walked further into the house.

"I'm in here," she called from her room.

I walked down the hallway and stood at her door, she was sitting on her bed crying. "I'm so sorry Lucinda, I really wish that there was something I could do." She told me it was ok and then asked me to sit with her for a while.

I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. We sat like that, not speaking for a while. Time seemed to slow down but with every passing minute, Lucinda's tears slowed as well.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered softly. "I thought he loved me but then I see how Reed is with you and I wonder if I was just fooling myself all these years, seeing something just because I wanted it so badly."

"Lucinda," I sighed. "Just because Reed shows his feelings so easily doesn't mean that every guy does, take..." I stopped, I was about to tell her to look at Devon with Janie before I remembered that no one was supposed to know they were together while he was with Annette.

"Take who dear?"

"Ummm..." I almost panicked but then I smiled. "My parents! My father isn't all touchy feely with my mother but they love each other."

Lucinda dabbed at her eyes as she thought about that about. "Your father does tell your mother that he loves her though, I've heard him."

I sighed, I didn't know what else to do.

So we sat in silence again until we heard people in the kitchen and Lucinda suggested that we go join them.

"Where's Reed?" I asked when I walked into the kitchen and saw only women. I walked over to the door and saw the guys in a circle pretty much around Roger. "What are they doing?"

Janie came over to me and looked out as well. She told me that the guys told them to go inside and they were trying to get Roger to leave. "What's going on?" She asked me under her breath not realizing that Lucinda was standing behind us.

"I left him," Lucinda said. "Last night, I just packed up my bags and left." When everyone just stared at her, she continued, telling them what happened the day before.

At first I wasn't sure why she would share all this with women that she really didn't know but then I realized that she didn't have anyone else to share it with; all her 'friends' weren't really friends, they wouldn't understand why it was such a big deal to her.

"So you see, there's no way I could've stayed there."

All my friends nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe it!" Janie shook her head, "After all this time he tells you he doesn't love you? What the hell!?!"

Lucinda nodded sadly, "How do you think I felt?" She took Janie's hand in hers, looking at the ring on her finger. "I see that you are engaged, are you marrying for love?"

"Of course!" Janie exclaimed but there was something in her eyes that didn't match the sound of her voice.

"Good," Lucinda patted her hand. "I wouldn't want you to know how I feel down the road." She turned to Annette, "And what about you? Are you marrying Devon because you love him?"

Annette glanced around the table and then down at the ring on her finger. "He doesn't love me," she said.

"But you love him?"

Annette didn't reply and I started to wonder if she did care about Devon. But then why the bitchiness at the house the other day?

"You can all come out now," Hal poked his head through the doorway and Nadine was one of the first ones out the door.

I told them all I would be a moment and then went to check on Alexis, she was sleeping so peacefully, she looked like a little angel.

I made my way back through the house to the kitchen and found Annette still sitting in the same place, staring at her ring. "Hey are you coming?" I pointed towards the door when she looked up at me.

"He didn't even ask me."

I frowned, "What?"

"Devon, he didn't even ask me to marry him, he just gave me the ring and then he disappeared for a few days."

"Oh," I went over to where she was. "Can I ask why you are marrying him?"

She laughed, "You know why I'm marrying him, I'm sure Reed has told you all about Devon's father and me."

My jaw dropped, "You?" I glanced down at her belly, I couldn't help it, she didn't look pregnant. She nodded and I shook my head, "No it doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't make sense?" Annette looked confused. "Devon's father and I had an affair and my father found out about it. It would've been ok but I got pregnant. My father has always hated Wayne because he knows that without him, he wouldn't be where he is today."

"Reed told me Wayne seduced Max's girlfriend?"

Annette shook her head, "Max's daughter."

"Huh," I sat back, I never did understand how Annette figured into the equation. "That explains a lot."

"So my baby will have his father's name and everyone will think Devon is the father so his mother will never have to find out."

Except that his mother knows he can't have children, I thought.

Needless to say my head hurt after talking to Annette.

When we went back out to join everyone around the fire, I snuggled up to Reed and told him what Annette just told me. "No way!" Reed's jaw dropped. "Are you sure? She doesn't look pregnant."

"I know," I whispered in his ear. "Didn't Devon tell you about Annette being his father's mistress?"

Reed shook his head, "No he didn't, he wouldn't tell me exactly how Annette figured into it all."

I tried to talk to him about it more - some thing about Annette's story wasn't adding up still - but some how Devon ended up with a guitar and he was making noise with it. And I say making noise because he didn't seem to know how to play it. "Do you know what you are doing with that thing?" I looked over my shoulder at him.

Devon smiled, "Of course I do," he told me. "I'm very good with my fingers." He started to play something that sounded like music, a real song...well minus all the other instruments that it took to make it sound like the real song!

Without taking his eyes off me, he started to sing.

I just want the best for you girl
But I don’t think I really know what that means
I know you being the best out of me
And I know you’re sick of abstract things
But time has been kind in a weird kind of way
Cause I’ve been waiting for this feeling to leave
If I can hold on to this feeling this long
Maybe I can’t get you to hold me

Don’t you believe, girl
You’ll change the world
At least you changed the world for me
Don’t you believe, girl
You’ll change the world
At least you changed the world for me

He paused for a moment and then looked to Annette

I won’t be sorry if you ever leave me girl


And then he looked away again

Cause I’m the world’s biggest fan of clichés
I’ll set you free then I’ll love like I’m not
Hurting in the world’s worst ways
But I don’t know if I can make it alone
And I don’t have much more left to lose
I can’t say for sure just where I’ll end up
I just want to end up there with you

Don’t you believe, girl
You’ll change the world
At least you changed the world for me
Don’t you believe, girl
You’ll change the world
At least you changed the world for me

Up until this point, he never once looked at Janie but when he started the next part, his eyes didn't left her.

When the darkness never ends
And my world’s crashing in
And it starts to turn again
Will you believe?

When I won’t get over you
And my world splits in two
When I just can’t make it though
Will you believe?

Don’t you believe, girl
You’ll change the world
At least you changed the world for me
Don’t you believe, girl
You’ll change the world
At least you changed the world for me

Silence settled over the beach when he finished the song and the guitar grew quiet. I didn't know if anyone besides Janie, Reed and I realized that he was really singing to Janie. I glanced over at her, she was looking at her hand that was entwined with Cary's, I wished I knew what she was thinking.

"Well," Devon laughed and ran the pick over the strings. "Anyone want to hear anything special?" He looked around, "No?" He started playing again...

This won’t break your heart
But I just think it could
Cause I haven’t tried as hard as I should
To separate you from everything I do
But I would never want to come between us two

I’ll keep your memory vague
So you won’t feel bad about me
I’ll say the things you said
Sometimes so it reminds me

Devon stopped, shook his head and changed the song.

Met a girl, thought she was grand
Fell in love, found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued

In a trapped trip I can’t grip
Never thought I’d be the who’d slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She fucking hates me

Suddenly Devon stopped playing, he tossed the guitar out of his hands and jumped up. He crossed over to Janie and Cary, without stopping to think about what he was doing, he stooped and grabbed Cary by the shirt. "Hurt her and I'll fucking kill you."

As quickly as he grabbed him, Devon let him go and took off running...

....towards the lake and jumped in singing 'She Hates Me' at the top of his lungs as the sky lit up with the first of the fireworks show.

It's been a few days since that night, Devon claims that he doesn't remember anything, he says he was drunk...

...but I don't believe him.

Janie told me that when they went to bed that night, Cary kept asking her what went on between Devon and her. "I told him that we used to date a couple years ago and he seemed to believe that."

But I ran into Cary the other say and he asked me about Devon and Janie. "I know she says it was a few years ago," he told me. "But I get the feeling that there's something she's not telling me. What happened with them Amber?"

I told him that he needed to believe what Janie told him. "I haven't been around much in the past year or so, I'm not really the best person to ask."

Lucinda has been staying with Reed since Saturday, she keeps telling him she's going to a hotel but he tells her she can stay at his place as long as she likes...

...so he's been spending every night he can at my place.

15 comments:

Lynn said...

Now, that is some fine writing Amber. You had my emotions all over the place. Applause Applause for Amber. WOW!

Anonymous said...

agree with lynn...i didnt think that i could actually cry over a blog! lol but u did it! lol i LOVE this blog so much! it has to be my favorite! that was fantastic! i feel so bad for devon...come on devon and janie...wake up and realize that u need to be together!

Anonymous said...

I wonder what it is that Amber thinks isn't adding up with Annettes story. There has to be more that comes out. I would think that Annette should be showing by now if she really was pregnant though, Amber has been back with Reed for over a month, and Devon and Annette were engaged before then weren't they?

Anonymous said...

this was AMAZING...
i wonder when the truth about annette will come out..
and when janie will finally admit she still loves devin...
yay i love this blog
B

MonkeySpeak said...

Not necessarily. I have a friend who didn't know she was preggers till she was almost five months along. I know I know, you would say how could you go five months without knowing BUT she did not start to show until about her sixth month (and even then it kinda just looked like weight gain... her real BUMP came out half-way into month six)and with "spotting" and having an irregular period anyway, well, she just didn't know! crazy huh. (AND yes, she was on the pill... careful ladies... always double-up unless you think you are ready for that 2% chance!)

Annie Register said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annie Register said...

I bet Annette lost the baby but didn't tell anyone b/c she really does love Devon and is just bitter he doesn't love her back. :)

Mehreen said...

Um, maybe she loves Devon's dad and is bitter no one can know. I can't believe Devon would cover up this much for his dad's deeds, that's so awful that his father would even let him ruin his life to protect his mistress. I am truly disgusted. Poor Devon though, if he really can't have kids, won't everyone know Annette's baby isn't his?? I hope Lucinda's ordeal makes one of them come to their senses.

Vikki said...

WHOA!! Great Post!!!

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Anonymous said...

Bravo!!!! Great post, you are a wonderful writer.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, I can't wait for another post!!! I need to see what is going to happen!

Anonymous said...

Kinda what I was hoping for---but the bit about Devon's dad blew me away!

Anonymous said...

Hey...give us some AMBER/REED DETAILS!!

Can't wait for the next post!!

GG

Anonymous said...

Great post. I really like Devon now and feel so bad for him.

Karen

Anonymous said...

Aghhh! I'm going into blog withdrawal, none of the blogs I read have posted today. I need a fix before I go home for the weekend!!